whimsy Page 21 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

An Attempt At Untangling The Legend Of Madison Bumgarner Dating A Girl Named Madison Bumgarner
Madison Bumgarner, the larger-than-life ace of the San Francisco Giants, carries the backstory of the hero in a tall tale. He began chewing tobacco in the fifth grade; he got married in blue jeans; he chopped up a rattlesnake with an axe and saved the two baby bunnies he found inside. But one story ...

Golf Fan Goes To Town On His Own Nipples
Some people require certain methods to get titillated. For this fan, it’s watching Billy Horschel at the Byron Nelson Classic....

Today's Ottawa-Pittsburgh Highlights, As Called By Wrestling Legend "J.R." Jim Ross
The Penguins took a 3-2 series lead on Ottawa today with a 7-0 obliteration. Here are the highlights of that very exciting game, as called by pro wrestling legend Jim “J.R.” Ross....

Security Guard At D-Backs Game Grabs Live Ball, Rolls It To Left Fielder
The Mets’ Neil Walker hit one down the left-field line in the eighth inning of Monday’s game against Arizona. The ball boy got out of the way. The security guard? Well, he just stood there and casually rolled the ball to Diamondbacks outfielder Yasmany Tomás. It’s nice to help....

Marlins Fan Supports Team
An enthusiastic Marlins fan behind home plate at Wednesday’s game against the Cardinals did her best to distract St. Louis pitcher Brett Cecil in the sixth with two men on and Christian Yelich batting. Anything to help the home team....

Jimmy John's Says That's Not Jimmy John Nude And Humping A Shark
On Monday, Florida football coach Jim McElwain said he was not the naked man photographed straddling a shark on a boat. Today, the Jimmy John’s sandwich chain told Deadspin that the nude shark humper also isn’t owner Jimmy John Liautaud....

Dak Prescott And Zeke Elliott Struggling With Teamwork
At a charity event on Monday, six Dallas Cowboys starters paired up to test their teamwork, strategy, and quick thinking in a three-legged race. Quarterback Dak Prescott and running back Ezekiel Elliott (in blue) opted to use one leg apiece. It did not work out too well:...

Jim McElwain Says That's Not Him Nude And Humping A Shark<em></em>
Over the weekend, a photo of a grinning, completely naked man hugging a shark on a boat made the rounds. U.K.-based wildlife TV presenter Anneka Svenska was one of the more notable people who shared the photo:...

Here's The Marlins' President Playing Lorne Michaels In A Local Theater Production
Marlins president David Samson is one of those rich guys who likes to do not-rich-guy things in order to show how cool and down to earth he is. He went on Survivor, and in 2014 he starred in a play put on by a local Miami theater called Not Ready For Primetime. The play was about the early days of S...

Dahntay Jones Was Fined Almost His Entire Salary For Three Minutes Of Play
Dahntay Jones signed a veteran’s minimum contract with the Cavaliers on the very last day of the regular season, meaning that his prorated salary for the year was $9,127. The 36-year-old earned three garbage-time minutes at the end of last night’s win over the Raptors, and in those three minutes he ...

Look At Giannis
Images of Giannis Antetokounmpo dunking the ball are often paired with breathless references to Inspector Gadget/Mr. Fantastic/MJ in Space Jam/Stretch Armstrong, to call attention to his lengthy tentacles. But have you considered the possibility that those tentacles look just as wild when he’s just ...

Jim Harbaugh Sure Enjoyed Himself On His Big Italian Vacation
Jim Harbaugh and the Michigan Wolverines went to Rome for reasons that are unknown and uninteresting to me. What I am interested in are the various images of Jim Harbaugh enjoying his vacay that have been shared on social media....

If At First You Don't Succeed, Try Again And Again And Again And Again And Again And Again And Again And Again And Again And Again And Again
If baseball is inherently a game of failure, the slog through the minor leagues can sometimes seem like a study in ignominious repetition. The long bus rides, bad hotels, and sparsely-attended games in forgettable towns: I imagine it can all start to feel like throwing a beach ball into the wind....

I'm Jealous Of This Photographer's Situation
This towel-draped snowbird, posted up on the clay courts of Monte Carlo snapping photos of some of the world’s best tennis players, is my new hero. If you know who she is, please tell me so I can follow her life’s path. ...

Florida Gators Mascot Sacrifices Big Dumb Head To Protect Kid From Foul Ball
Albert, the Florida Gators’ mascot, gave up his life for a kid’s when a foul ball came his way in Tuesday’s baseball game against North Florida....

My New Favorite Athlete Is Cum Dog
I’m not going to pretend to know a single thing about Jason Cummings, a striker playing for Hibernian FC in the Scottish second division. But you don’t need to know anything about him to enjoy his alter ego, a sock-handed wrestler known as Cum Dog....

The Bandit Who Ran The Boston Marathon While Pushing A Canoe, Twice
In the spring of 1991, Bob Elliott had a problem. He and his friend George were trying to sell a canoe cart George had developed, designed for portaging between bodies of water. They had no marketing budget, and sales, it’s fair to say, were slow. Elliott, an effortless athlete, mechanical genius, a...

Ben Simmons Completes Next Step Of Recovery Process By Owning Knicks Child
This little Ron Baker lookalike thought he could sneak one by Ben Simmons, but little did he know, the dude is closer to healthy now and he’s also supposedly seven feet tall....

Noah Syndergaard Jacks Philly Phanatic's ATV For Pregame Joyride
Feel that warm breeze my friends, summer’s almost here. Time to hop on those ATVs....

Jay Bruce: Anal Power
The Mets lost to Atlanta last night in extras, but not before Jay Bruce leveraged anal power to launch a big dinger off Bartolo Colón. Your music is the appropriately titled “Anal Power” by Czech death metal group Törr, from their 1992 album Chcípni O Kus Dál....