whimsy Page 22 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

DeMarcus Cousins Has Fun Fielding Questions About Getting To Play The Kings<em></em>
For the first time in his NBA career, DeMarcus Cousins will play against the Sacramento Kings tomorrow night. He spoke with reporters and seems set on the belief that the Pelicans will come out, play hard, and try to get a win....

Nike Drapes Its Athletes In A Mess Of Green Puke
Roger Federer rolled right through Juan Martin del Potro in the third round of the Miami Open, 6-4, 6-3. It was what you’d expect: forehand winners aplenty on both sides; Fed giving the big guy no absolutely no time to ease his way into the point; Delpo proving that he still can hit the crap out of ...

The President's In A Big-Boy Truck Beep Beep
Today started with our pee baby president’s latest piss tantrum in the pages of Time magazine. It ends with him climbing around in a big rig, no doubt a reward for acting like a big boy and keeping his diapy dry....

Recent Mike Lupica Headlines, Ranked
It’s very likely that you haven’t thought about pocket-sized sports bloviator Mike Lupica in quite some time, but you should know that he is still on his grind, producing columns for Sports on Earth. You should also know that his headlines are incredible....

Internecine Broadcast Conflict Breaks Out During Pirates Spring Training Game
During today’s spring training game between the Pirates and Rays, the Pirates broadcast team decided to try a fun experiment. The TV and radio color commentators (Steve Blass, Bob Walk, and John Wehner) would handle the TV broadcast, while the guys who usually do play-by-play on the radio (Joe Block...

I Can't Stop Watching This Video Of Infuriating Fuck-Ups<em></em>
You know how when you’re scrolling through Facebook, and you happen upon one of those top-down videos that shows a pair of hands creating some sort of delicious food or craft, and then you get stuck watching it for three or four minutes, not because you are especially interested in how to make pinea...

Sports<i> </i>Columnist Invents Unfortunate Acronym
Chicago Tribune sports columnist Bernie Lincicome has been at this for a long time, and after so many years spent writing takes, he probably has trouble coming up with ways to keep his column fresh. In his latest piece about new Bears quarterback Mike Glennon, Lincicome tried to put together a cute ...

Can You Guess What Jay Williams Was Trying To Draw Here?
ESPN and ESPN 2 featured wall-to-wall NCAA tournament coverage yesterday, and when you’ve got that much time to fill, the programming can get a little weird. For example, early this morning, various ESPN personalities played a game of March Madness-themed Pictionary. As you can see in the GIF above,...

George Mason Manager Makes Play Of The Day, Saves Rogue Contact Lens
George Mason is matched up with Fordham in the Atlantic-10 tournament tonight. The Patriots led through most of the first half, but the best play of the game so far came from graduate manager Bryson Johnson....

Dance Like Nobody's Watching
These Englishmen are enjoying their first exposure to direct sunlight....

The Largest Son In Cricket Is Ready To Take On The World
Rahkeem Cornwall is 24 years old, 6-foot-6, over 300 pounds, and poised to make a big splash. Though he has yet to make his international debut for the West Indies, the pudgy cricketer impressed in yesterday’s exhibition game between England and the West Indies President’s XI, as the two nations war...

Mike Piazza Has Been Captured By Nelly
Last week, Hall of Fame catcher Mike Piazza needled the city of St. Louis when he said he’d rather own a third-tier Italian soccer team than an MLS team in St. Louis because you “can’t get a good meal” in the city....

Steven Adams To The Rim: "I Fucking Hate You So Much"
Steven Adams shoots 65 percent from the free-throw line, and sometimes a man can only take so much....

Good Dog Joins Bike Race, Smokes The Competition
There’s not much I can give in the way of context for this video. The excited announcer is commentating in Italian, but that doesn’t necessarily mean the race was in Italy. There are no races worth filming happening in Italy right now, and also it’s winter, so this grainy footage is probably old. ...

Ahh... You Touch My Tra-La-La
John Calipari was clearly feelin’ it during the Wildcats’ big 82-77 win over Georgia today....

Tyronn Lue Can Do A Solid Tom Thibodeau Impersonation
Before the Cavs-Wolves game started tonight, Cavs coach Tyronn Lue graced us with his Tom Thibodeau impersonation. Fittingly, it was mostly grunts....

Anthony Davis Teases Nut-Grabbing Buddy Hield
Pelicans rookie Buddy Hield was ejected from yesterday’s game against the Kings for whacking DeMarcus Cousins right in the yams. If you were wondering whether Hield’s teammates found the situation to be as amusing as you did, allow Anthony Davis’s Snapchat to clear a few things up for you:...

CU Bros Thrilled To Have Been Slapped By Washington's Malik Dime
I’m not exaggerating in the slightest when I say that this story from BSN Denver is the most heartwarming sports story of 2017. Prepare to be charmed by the tale of the University of Colorado basketball fans who had a great time getting slapped by Washington forward Malik Dime....