whimsy Page 24 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Terrell Suggs Has An All-Time Great Fake Name
Rex “Walt Pulaski” Ryan snuck onto a Bills media call to try and massage some inside info from Julian Edelman earlier this NFL season, and his colleague Terrell “Hacksaw Smithers” Suggs followed suit this afternoon on a call with Dak Prescott. With all due respect to Walt, “Hacksaw Smithers” is in a...
David Blaine Made Steph Curry, Drake, Dave Chappelle, And Jimmy Butler See God
David Blaine television specials are like evolved versions of Punk’d in that they seem to exist primarily to temporarily bring celebrities down to level of the viewer: astonished, freaked out, and unsure of what humanity is capable of. Last night ABC aired a new Blaine special called Beyond Magic, ...
<i>Thursday Night Football</i> Commercial: Folks, Remember The Freakin' Dress?!?
The NFL has been dealing with low television ratings all season, and people have all sorts of theories about why that is. One theory that the NFL itself seems to buy into is that the league isn’t doing enough to appeal to meme enthusiasts, because I can’t imagine why else this commercial was created...
DeAndre Jordan Doesn't Want You To Have Any Ice Cream
NBA teams run all kinds of fun in-game promotions—free tacos if we score 100 points! Free pizza if we hit 15 threes!—but the best ones are those that allow for meta-contests between the fans and opposing players....
Just Five Minutes Of Philip Rivers Saying Stuff
Chargers quarterback Philip Rivers has always struck me as a sort of charming goober, so it’s nice to hear five minutes of in-game audio that more or less confirms my assessment....
Steven Adams And Enes Kanter Met Some Dogs And Some Kids
Hey, want to smile for a few minutes? Then please enjoy Thunder centers Steven Adams and Enes Kanter hangin’ with dogs and kids:...
![Is This The Dildo Thrown Onto The Field Yesterday By A Bills Fan? [Update: Yes, It Is]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/ldckkt02nw1ppxsu6kqv.jpg)
Is This The Dildo Thrown Onto The Field Yesterday By A Bills Fan? [Update: Yes, It Is]
Multiple sources have provided Deadspin with images of a marital aid that is purportedly the dildo thrown onto the field during yesterday’s Patriots-Bills game in Buffalo....
Boy, <i>Thursday Night Football</i> Is The Best, Isn't It?
We are blessed by the NFL’s benevolence in its grace to provide us the finest professional football every Thursday night. We aren’t worthy of witnessing the incredible talents of the Jacksonville Jaguars weekly—let alone in such a showcase as Thursday Night Football....
Dipshits Who Allegedly Burglarized DeMarcus Ware's House Caught On Security Camera
Broncos linebacker DeMarcus Ware returned home from Monday night’s game against the Houston Texans to discover that his house had been burglarized. Ware was understandably upset, but was also comforted by the fact that his house was equipped with hidden cameras....
This Testy Poker Hand Is Excruciating To Watch<em></em>
Okay so you’ve got two weird poker guys here, which is not surprising because this is the main event of the World Series of Poker and all poker guys are weird. One poker guy, Will Kassouf, spends what feels like hours trying to goad the other poker guy, Griffin Benger, into tipping his hand. Kassouf...
Celtics Fan Enjoys Himself
I’m usually unimpressed by the dinguses who do wacky things behind the broadcast table at NBA games, but I have to admit that this dude’s routine during last night’s Knicks-Celtics game made me chuckle:...
Joel Embiid Appears To Actually Be The Truth<em></em>
We rip on the Sixers more or less constantly because of their cynical, anti-fan approach to sports and their former tech-worshipping leader’s insane hubris, but goddamn it, Joel Embiid is actually cool. Please enjoy him dancing a bunch then casually flushing a huge windmill. ...
Alex Trebek Hilariously Shits On <i>Jeopardy!</i> Contestant And Her Whole Crew For No Reason
Man, Trebek really looked at her, took a breath, then dropped the hammer....
Marquette King Is Good At The Internet
Raiders punter Marquette King is one of the best at his position in the NFL, landing in the top 10 in almost every major statistical category. He’s also a superb internet user whose crafted memes put my work for the Jamboroo to shame. This came to our attention this afternoon, when King dropped this...
Lax Bros Break Tie With Rowdy Game Of Rock, Paper, Scissors
A lacrosse scrimmage between the Dayton and Western Michigan club teams was called off due to lightning on Saturday. The score was tied when the cancellation happened, and if there’s anything a lax bro hates, it’s a game ending in a tie. Fortunately, the Dayton and Western Michigan players were able...
Yankees Fan Proposes Live On Scoreboard, Loses Ring
Here’s a tip for you: If you’re going to do the extremely performative move of proposing to your spouse live on a jumbotron at a sporting event, don’t lose the ring!...
Tiger Woods Is Now Golf's Washed-Up Uncle
Tiger Woods is still too old and fucked up to play golf, but he is capable of serving as a vice captain for the United States’ Ryder Cup team. Somebody forgot to tell Tiger that vice captains aren’t allowed to be in the team photo:...
Giannis Antetokounmpo Is Not So Great At Jokes
Giannis Antetokounmpo is a 21-year-old who just signed a $100 million contract, so you can imagine why he might have been feeling a little giddy heading into NBA media day. He was feeling so good, in fact, that he began his session with reporters by firing off a joke that would have made even the la...