whimsy Page 28 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Internet Man Flays Post-Human ESPN Shithead Darren Rovell By Tunelessly Singing His Dumb Tweets (UPDATE: There's More)
Post-human business doof Darren Rovell did some tweets tonight, like he does whenever a dollar farts. They were bad and bland in their undressed form, but Twitter user @trillballins spiced them up with dramatic vocals and now I love them. Consider this asinine joke our dude probably drafted a week a...
Basketball Teen Tries To Stunt, Gets Righteously Owned
Damn, I guess Mark Jackson was right. Rude-ass Steph Curry has taught the teens of America that it’s cool to turn your back on a three and celebrate before the shot even goes in, and the teens are being punished for it:...
The Cubs Are Good At Karaoke Too
The Cubs are good at baseball. Real damn good. They lost a narrow one to the Pirates yesterday but they’re still 27-9. The team has an off day today, so naturally, they went and did some karaoke last night. ChiCitySports.com was on the scene as Dexter Fowler, John Lackey, Anthony Rizzo, Jon Lester, ...
Cubs Fan Jumps For Home Run Ball, Misses It, Removes Shirt, Curses Sky Gods
The Cubs, an extremely good baseball team, are currently beating the hell out of the Pittsburgh Pirates, thanks in part to a three-run dong that old man David Ross jacked in the fifth inning. Ross’s homer was nice, but what we are really here to discuss is this fan:...
Jon Gray Wants To Hunt Some Ghosts
Jon Gray is a young and strong pitcher who, if everything goes just right, could be a legitimate ace for the Colorado Rockies. During an interview on MLB Network Radio, Gray also revealed that he wants to hunt some dang ghosts....
A Good Cat Got Loose On The Field At The Angels Game
A nice cat escaped from somewhere and got onto the field at the Angels game this evening, ran around a bunch, leapt a wall, and ran through hundreds of bemused fans. The best part of this video is watching the reactions of cascading sections of fans as our friend here made his break for freedom....
Serena Williams Ate Some Fancy Dog Food And Then Crapped A Bunch
We live in wonderful times. Thanks to the miracle of technology, we are able to enjoy this first-hand account of the time world-famous tennis star Serena Williams decided to eat a spoonful of fancy dog food, which caused her to shit her brains out....
Someone Put Bartolo Colon's First Homer In <i>The Natural</i>, Where It Belongs
This is just a fantastic mash-up of Bartolo Colon’s delightful home run and the climactic scene from The Natural. ...
The Outcome Of Tonight's Raptors-Heat Game, As Predicted By <i>NBA Live '96</i>
We updated some rosters and simulated tonight’s Raptors-Heat game on Sega Genesis. Spoiler alert: the game came down to the final minute! Go check out the video over on our Facebook page....
Here's What Happened When We Used Snapchat's Face Swap Filter On An Episode Of <i>PTI</i>
Because we are sick in the head, we were curious what would happen if we took today’s episode of Pardon the Interruption and ran it through Snapchat’s face swap filter. The results are, as you might expect, horrifying....
Patrick Beverley Mercilessly Owns Kid In One-On-One
This one-on-one game, which Patrick Beverley decided to dominate, is like that scene in Rushmore where Bill Murray blocks the shit out of that kid, but for five minutes straight. ...
What's Your Favorite Play From The Sixers' Official T.J. McConnell Highlight Reel?
The Philadelphia Sixers invite you to enjoy the “scrap, hustle, drives, step-backs, and spirit” that define T.J. McConnell, a rookie point guard who averaged six points and 4.5 assists in 19 minutes per game this season, and starred in the grimmest of all 76er anecdotes....
Urban Meyer Left Hanging
Five Ohio State players were selected in the NFL draft’s first round, which ought to make coach Urban Meyer very proud. But for at least one moment last night, Urbz was left by his lonesome....
WHARRGARBL
Have something you think we should know? Email us at [email protected], or contact our writers directly, or use our SecureDrop system. You can also follow us on Twitter, like us on Facebook, and sign up for our newsletter!...
Don't Worry, Those Devastated Giants Fans Are Doing Just Fine
I was a little bit worried about those Giants fans who had to leave Monday’s game in shame after one of them accidentally grabbed a fair ball. Fortunately, I was able to talk to Travis, the dude who made the mistake, and he assures me that they are doing just fine....
Family Movie Night At Titans' Stadium Interrupted By Sprinklers
Going to an empty football stadium to lay on the grass and watch a movie on the jumbotron sounds like a perfectly pleasant way to spend a spring evening. It becomes remarkably less pleasant when the stadium forgets to shut off the automatic sprinklers:...
Dwight Howard Drops Mic
Dwight Howard ended his presser after Houston’s 104-78 thrashing at the hands of the Warriors by dropping the mic. He didn’t pick it back up....