whimsy Page 34 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
New York City Parks Worker Confronts Shit, Mortality
The video above—which comes to us from A Walk In The Park—is narrated by NYC parks worker Daniel Roca. When Roca arrived at his job at Sara D. Roosevelt Park yesterday, he found the basement of his building flooded with poop. And then the poop almost killed him....
Someone At MLB Network Wants Someone Else To Fuck Himself
At the tail end of an MLB Network interview with newly inducted Hall-of-Famer John Smoltz, someone behind the scenes forgot that hot mics can pick up whispers:...
Minor League Baseball Promotion Turns Into Slapstick Routine
Sometimes minor league baseball promotions are weird and bad, but sometimes they are weird and good. I say this one, from a recent West Michigan Whitecaps game, falls into the latter category. I say this because I enjoy watching children fall....
Here's A Bartolo Colon GIF To Brighten Up Your Friday
Clayton Kershaw rolled into Queens last night and took a katana to the Mets’ lineup, striking out 11 and allowing just three hits in nine shutout innings. But whatever, the real star of the show (as usual) was Bartolo Colon....
Baseball Children Owned So Hard By Food
Children are dumb and uncoordinated, and also fun to laugh at when they are being dumb and uncoordinated. If you think I’m mean for saying that, it’s probably because you are an idiot or a baby (no offense). Anyway, look at this dummy:...
New Lakers Neatly Capture The Experience Of Being Kobe Bryant's Teammate
The Los Angeles Lakers held a press conference today to introduce new players Roy Hibbert, Lou Williams, and Brandon Bass. It was boring, up until the point one reporter asked the trio if they’d heard from Kobe Bryant yet....
Report: Cleveland Browns Still A Huge Mess
The Browns are bad and hilarious, and it sure looks like they will never stop being that way. The latest report on the team’s persistent, ingrained dysfunction comes from ESPN reporter Tony Grossi, and it reveals that GM Ray Farmer’s practice of texting members of the coaching staff during games was...
Did ESPN President John Skipper Play Dewey On <i>Malcolm In The Middle</i>?
Watch this video and be the judge....
Here's The Best Sports Highlight Of The Day
There aren’t many good sports highlights for you today, so here’s a dorky bird knocking a soccer ball into a small goal. The bird also dances....
I Don't Really Have Anything To Say About This White Kid's Bad Rap Song
Here is a bad rap song:...
George Karl Met DeMarcus Cousins And It Was Suuuuuuper Awkward
Sometimes the universe is good to us, like when it brings us video of George Karl and DeMarcus Cousins meeting at a Summer League game—for what is likely the first time since Karl began doing everything in his power to alienate his team’s only star player—and allowing us to bask in the incredible aw...
The "Smells Like Teen Spirit" Shovel Is The Only Thing That Matters
I spent a good 20 minutes struggling to come up with a headline for this post, not because what happens in this video is hard to describe, but because once you’ve seen the “Smells Like Teen Spirit” Shovel do its thing—once you’ve banged the “play” button for the 32nd time and allowed the shovel’s mi...
Ronaldo Shills Bullshit Workout Contraption In Ridiculous Commercial
I’m not saying Cristiano Ronaldo is a cyborg, and if he is he’s probably a benevolent one, but if this wild commercial for some weird, obviously scammy Japanese “exercise gear” isn’t really a behind-the-scenes look at Ronaldo’s morning boot-up process, I’ll buy this stuff and have a six pack in no t...
Micronesian National Team Concedes 114 Goals In 3 Games
The Federated States of Micronesia have an international soccer team that is ranked 200 in the world by FIFA. The team entered this year’s Pacific Games in an attempt to qualify for the 2016 Olympics. Things did not go so well!...
Enjoy <i>UFC </i>Glitches, Narrated By Fake Joe Rogan And Mike Goldberg
Even if you’ve never played EA’s UFC, or don’t care about MMA, you can still enjoy these glitches. The impressions of Joe Rogan and Mike Goldberg might not be as funny, but rest assured: they’re still wonderful and accurate....
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Justin Turner's Future Self Shows Up In Arizona
Is this the twin of Baseball Sasquatch Justin Turner, or a time-traveling version from the future? Either way, the two didn’t talk....
God Bless Patrick Kane, Beautiful Karaoke Moron
You should never make fun of people for singing karaoke poorly, because the whole point of karaoke is to get drunk and yell and cause ruckus. But I think it’s okay to poke fun at Chicago Blackhawks party boy Patrick Kane, who does something delightfully stupid at about the two-minute mark of this cl...
Ty Lawson Sees His Future In A Cloud Of Hookah Smoke
You can always count on the NBA draft to produce a few a few memorable moments. Sobbing Knicks Child was the star of last night’s show, but Sad Ty Lawson Smoking Hookah ran a very close second....