whimsy Page 40 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Here's What Getting Traded Looks Like
Indians middle infielder Asdrubal Cabrera was traded to the Washington Nationals today. Shortly after the trade was made official, Chronicle Telegram reporter Brian Dulik snapped this picture of Cabrera going all Sad Keanu on us in the hallway outside the Indians locker room....
Some FSU Football Players Made A Very Good Parody Of A Terrible Song
Before you watch the video above, which features Florida State football players Derrick Nnadi, Jacob Pugh, Lorenzo Featherson, and Demarcus Christmas singing and rapping very, very poorly, you need to acquaint yourself with Ice JJ Fish....
Extremely Intoxicated Metro North Passenger Munches On Floor Chips [Update]
This horrible incident occurred on one of New York's Metro North trains, which are often booze-fueled nightmares, full of shit-hammered White Plains residents trying to get home at 1:45 a.m. after drinking themselves stupid in the Meatpacking District....
Instagram User Thrilled By Brian McCann Home Run Leaves X-Rated Comment
Seriously, Antoniocaquias, that is no way to behave on a public forum....
![Everybody, Especially Blake Griffin, Loves This 6'7" Burlesque Dancer [NSFW]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/nxg1hwh0chojhfhbyaub.jpg)
Everybody, Especially Blake Griffin, Loves This 6'7" Burlesque Dancer [NSFW]
Amazon Ashley is a person that we were not aware of until today. She is a 6-foot-7 dancer who is best known for touring with Miley Cyrus, but she is also known for other things. One of those things happens to be taking boobsy photos with various NBA players—mostly Blake Griffin....
And Now, A Lively Interaction Between Darren Rovell And A Twitter User
It starts, as it always does, with a completely useless Darren Rovell tweet:...
The Marlins' Nickname For Casey McGehee Is Just A Modified Boob Joke
Nobody really pays much attention to the Miami Marlins, so we are guessing that not nearly enough people are aware of infielder Casey McGehee's nickname: "Hits McGehee."...
Disabled Dachshund Named Anderson Pooper Runs In Weiner Dog Race
This is the sweetest goddamned thing. A Washington radio station holds an annual Wiener Dog rally and this year's race took place last Sunday. We don't know who won the race, but Anderson Pooper, chugging along in his little doggie wheelchair, has won our hearts. ...
Joel Embiid Is Really Good At Twitter. Let's Not Ruin This.
Joel Embiid sent a few funny tweets today:...
Here Is A Third-Grader's Drawing Of A Chicken Jerking Off A Horse
Drew Magary's Dadspin piece today about parents obsessed with making their children more "competitive" has inspired some excellent Kinja chatter, but nothing is going to top what you see to the left, which is, as noted above, a child's drawing of a chicken giving a horse a handjob. For the backstory...
What If A Baseball Player Were As Dominant As LeBron?
I'd like to pretend that I'm above paying attention to the LeBron James circus, but like everyone else, I spent a lot of today just sitting around waiting on some revelatory Adrian Wojnarowski tweet, so that a question like What if someone was just as dominant as LeBron James, but he played baseball...
Germany-Brazil, Summarized By A Roomba
This might be my favorite recap of the Germany-Brazil match. Brazil were so awful, a damn Roomba clowned them on Instagram....
Here's What Middle-Aged Napoleon Dynamite And Pedro Look Like
Reader Brian sent along his friend's photo, which he claims was taken in Idaho. He believes the men in the photo look like Napoleon Dynamite and Pedro, "40 years in the future." We can see it....
Please Do Not Try To Punch This Photo
Justin Bieber threw a party at his Beverly Hills home last night, and the reportedly raucous soirée was attended by all the obnoxious rich people you'd expect to show up to a party at Justin Bieber's house. ...
I Can't Stop Laughing At This Guy's <em>Game Of Thrones</em> Video Recaps
My colleague Samer just discovered this funny video of a southern gentleman giving his thoughts on the USMNT drawing Portugal. It turns out that this guy also posts quick video reviews of Game of Thrones episodes on his YouTube channel, and each one of them is a ridiculous treasure. I present a hand...
Celebrating Spurs Fan Falls Out Of His Moving Truck And Onto His Face
The face plant is funny, but it's the momentary daze, followed by the hurried waddle that carries our hero out of the frame that really makes this. That is the gait of a man who is convinced that if he just keeps moving, the massive amount of pain that awaits him will never come....
Hannibal Buress Did A Great Job "Covering" Game 6 Of The Finals Today
Hannibal Buress is a very funny comedian who thought he had landed a great gig when Sports Nation sent him to Miami to cover Game 6 of the NBA Finals. Unfortunately, the Heat's failure to extend the series on Sunday turned Buress' dream assignment into a shitty one, but he didn't let that stop him f...
The Life And Death Of The Runaway Baltimore Bull: A Play In Two Acts
A bull got loose in the streets of Baltimore today. Nobody is sure where the bull came from, or where he was trying to go. All we know is that the bull was spotted by many Baltimore residents, running across the hot pavement of the city's roads, warmed by the summer sun and driven onward by the thri...
Fallen Rangers Fan Is The Saddest Subway Rider
A reader sends along this photo of a prone Rangers fan, fittingly adorned in a Rick Nash jersey and camo Rangers hat, lying prone on the Q train at 2:00 a.m. last night. We are told that this guy "barely moved" for at least three stops, at which time our tipster had to get off the train....