whimsy Page 61 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Chan Ho Park Is Bad At Rapping, Good At Poking Himself In The Eye
Hey, have you been wondering what Chan Ho Park is up to these days? Me neither! But that matters little to Chan Ho Park, who is currently back in his home country of South Korea, pitching for the Hanwha Eagles, and living the life of a fucking boss. Well, at least as far as life insurance commerci...

Metta World Peace Wishes You All A Happy Labor Day
In a way, it is sort of fitting that World Peace can't remember Memorial Day, but we're guessing this has less to do with Metta being meta and more to do with Metta being Metta. Enjoy it....

Bob Saget Sang The National Anthem At A White Sox Game Yesterday For Some Reason
So, this happened yesterday and...it...wasn't terrible? I mean, don't get me wrong, it's no Whitney at the Super Bowl or Marvin Gaye at the All-Star game, but it's no Carl Lewis at a random Nets-Bulls game, either....

Today In Michael Beasley Is An Enormous Weirdo: "I Like To Fart Sometimes And Keep It N A Bottle 2 Smell Later"
Tipster Tyler C. alerted us to this wonderfully vivid mental image tweeted (and since deleted) by Michael Beasley. Beasley has indicated that his account was hacked, but who knows for sure. I suppose it's possible some rapper really wants the word out that Michael Beasley is a big fan and doesn't m...

Rex Ryan Gives Miami Dolphins Fans His Blessing On Their Wedding Day
A reader sends in this photo he discovered while doing a bit of Facebook stalking. While he did not provide many details of the events that lead to this picture's existence, we can make a few inferences....

Watch Shaq Mug For The Cameras With The World's Smallest Primate
On this lazy Sunday morning, enjoy a heartwarming video of a photo shoot featuring Shaquille O'Neal and Fuggles the mouse lemur. Here's a little more info, from the uploader:...

This Umpire Might Have The Most Exaggerated Strike-Three Call Of All Time
All we know about this video is that it was recorded over the weekend at Campbell Field in Rock Island, Ill. Well, that and the umpire in it really wants you to know he called that pitch a strike....

Steve Bartman's True Identity Revealed: He's Al Bundy
First, we brought you the Jose Canseco joke that launched a thousand Jose Canseco jokes. Now, we bring you evidence that Steve Bartman is Al Bundy. Or perhaps even more insidious, Bartman was merely a stooge in a wide ranging conspiracy to prove the writers of Married...With Children soothsaying o...

This Is Quite Possibly The Worst Ceremonial First Pitch Ever
This is Jessica Jung of the wildly popular (??) South Korean ensemble Girls' Generation. It's a nine member group with at least one "subunit." I did a lot of research for you guys....

An Unassisted Triple Play Is So Easy A 6-Year-Old Can Do It
And to think, there's only been 15 of these in MLB history. Pffft....

What If Every Pitcher In Baseball Were Mariano Rivera?
Trying to compare Mariano Rivera to other pitchers is like trying to compare a photon to other sprinters. Out for out, the difference between him and Pedro Martinez is the difference between Pedro and a league-average player. He hasn't had a full season much better or worse than any other, but he's ...

Former New York Yankee Great Jim Leyritz Will Be At A Penn Station Bookstore Next Thursday
Here's something: A bookstore in the commuter centrifuge that is Penn Station will host a Jim Leyritz book signing event for a book—Catching Heat—that came out almost a year ago....

Is Jonny Gomes The Biggest Douchebag In Baseball?
The scene: May 5, 2012. The 13-14 Oakland Athletics and the 19-8 Tampa Bay Rays are all tied up in the 10th 12th inning in Tampa when Jonny Gomes steps to the plate. Gomes would give the Athletics the lead when he hit a baseball the smallest distance possible for a ball to be hit and still be consi...

Jeff Francoeur Gets 100th Assist Off Ryan "Doormat" Line Drive
We're not sure if someone has got it in for Ryan Doumit over at Yahoo, but as you can see, a typo (??) credits Jeff Francoeur with his 100th assist after doubling up Joe Mauer on "Ryan Doormat's liner to right-center."...

Fox Sports Arizona Did A Text Poll Asking Who's The Best In The NL East, And They Listed Every Team Except The Mets
The above comes from the Diamondbacks-Braves game on Sunday afternoon, which Ian Kennedy and company wound up winning 6-4....

Today In Jose Canseco Tweets As Motivational Posters: Hunger
I'm going to be wrapping up Josayings because I've had the feeling like he's been in on the joke recently and there has been a lot of poking around and maybe he actually is in on it. Either way, it's better to burn out than fade away so I'll be dropping a few more this weekend that I never got arou...

Richard Marx Goes Yard Off Dennis Eckersley, Chicago Cubs Win World Series
I have no idea how I don't remember this video, because I definitely remember the song. Maybe you don't remember it either. Maybe we buried it deep within our collective subconscious....

Fox Sports Announcer Thinks He Is Interviewing Canucks' Ryan "The Guzzler" Kesler But Is Really Interviewing Kevin Bieksa
Noted troublemaker Kevin Bieksa of the Vancouver Canucks did a number on poor Mike Dunsmore of Fox Sports Radio following Game 4. Dunsmore apparently approached Bieksa thinking it was Kesler and Bieksa just played along. Right from jump street Bieksa references Kesler's controversial quotes about ...

Today In Jose Canseco Tweets As Motivational Posters: Baseball Smells
I'm going to be wrapping up Josayings because I've had the feeling like he's been in on the joke recently and there has been a lot of poking around and maybe he actually is in on it. Either way, it's better to burn out than fade away so I'll be dropping a few more this weekend that I never got aroun...

<i>New York Post</i> Front Page Kicks Nonsensical Ass
Fenway Park has been in the news a lot of late. There was the touching Field of Dreams-inspired story of the father and son who built their own replica Fenway in the vastness of Oregon. Then the drunken awkwardness of those loveable idiots, Cowboy Up himself and the Yankees' favorite son. And, of c...