whimsy Page 72 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Ever Wonder What It's Like When The Police Get You Stoned And Make You Drive Around?
But, you know, without living in some crazy, entrapment-filled police state? I hadn't either, but thankfully LA Times columnist Steve Lopez got to smoke some dank shit from some CHiPs—ha, chips—officers and then drive around for his and our amusement....

At Least One Yankee Fan Saw Some Action: This Old Guy Groping His Ladyfriend
The email came in: "You have any interest in photos of an old man who had his hand down a lady-friend's shirt, cupping, rubbing her breast for close to 2 hours while watching the Yankees game last night?" I would say so....

Video: We Ask Jose Canseco About His Missing Chandeliers
Earlier today, I scuttled over to 8th and Broadway in Manhattan. The goal: ask Jose Canseco if he'd gotten his "chandeleers" back. Was it a success? Yes. Yes, it was. As much as anything involving Jose Canseco can be called a success....

Everything That's Wrong With College Tailgates In One Picture
This picture, snapped sometime before Saturday's Ohio State-Wisconsin game, is so, so bad, it has to be a joke. Right?...

Gerard Butler's Michigan State Weekend
Movie Spartan Gerard Butler was once in a great trailer that became an OK movie called 300. So it makes perfect sense for him—while not in character—to pump up various Michigan State crowds like he did this weekend....

Baltimore Furry Commits Itself To Inspiring Marathoners
His name is Nate Sweeney. On days like today, when people run 26.2 miles through Baltimore, he dons a full-body tiger suit of synthetic fur and blasts Survivor....

Australian Team Accused Of Chucking Washing Machine Out Of Window
Solidifying their place as the badasses of international competition, the Australian Commonwealth Games team vandalized a room and threw a washing machine out of an 8th story window at the athletes' village....

Letter Chiding Baylor Students For Clogging Plumbing System With Semen Is Too Good To Be True, Alas
According to an anonymous tipster, the residence halls at Baylor were recently clogged with semen, leading to this desperate plea from one residence hall's director. Sadly, it's a fake, as our brief conversation with the hilariously put-upon director confirmed....

This Is A Praying Mantis Bodyslamming A Hummingbird
It's not so easy to flap your wings up to 90 times a second when you're getting smashed into the concrete by two spiked forelegs, is it hummingbird? H/T I Like Cheap Beer...

The Cigar Guy Photoshops Have Come To Our Classic Album Covers
The internet cannot get enough of Cigar Guy Photoshops. He's now been Photoshopped photobombing classic rock records. Think of some new ones and add them to the comments below. Don't let an alt-weekly in Dallas outshine you. [Dallas Observer]...

Cracking The Case Of The Oscar Winner Who Hooked Up With Matthew Berry's Friend
When we last checked in, Matthew Berry's friend had gotten some strange from a Hollywood actress and it was evidently a big deal—assuming Matthew Berry has friends who look like Matthew Berry. The case was cold, until now....

This Is A Photo Of Danzig Wearing A Danzig Shirt After Buying Cat Supplies
Glenn Danzig is Glenn Danzig from the band Danzig. Therefore, it is surreal to see Glenn Danzig wearing a t-shirt that promotes the band Danzig. It is doubly surreal when Glenn Danzig of the band Danzig wears a Danzig t-shirt while carrying—or possibly returning—various cat supplies....

The Baby-Holding, Foul-Ball-Catching Dads Are Not Going Away
Having learned nothing, a man attending last night's Tigers-Indians match caught a foul ball off the bounce, while holding a baby that may be his and standing perilously close to a railing. Someone put a stop to these monsters. [Sportress of Blogitude]...

Formerly Censored Dwarf Painting Restored To Full Nudity
This 16th century Italian masterpiece was finally restored to its original butt-nakedness, after having been painted over for being obscene. Oh, and it's a two-sided canvas, so there's a rear view too....

Shaun Smith's Package Grabbing: A Music Video Retrospective
Shaun Smith's humorous, ungentlemanly conduct the last two weeks has been an endless source of joy, so why not set video of Smith's junk twisting to Da Lench Mob's "All On My Nut Sac?"...

Here's Video Of Bill Simmons Declaring His Intention To Urinate All Over An ESPN Studio, Or Something
The yuks keep coming with blinding speed as the Sports Fellas guest-hosting stint on PTI continues. One would assume that Tony's the incontinent one, being a cranky old asshole and all....

Deron Williams Backflipping Off A Freaking Cliff
An intrepid digital camera owner shot this footage of Deron Williams cliff-diving at Sand Hollow State Park in Utah and we thought that it really needed the be dubbed with a T.I. song to fully emphasize the badassery on display. [SLC Dunk]...

Dork Beats Other Dork: The King Of Kong Returns
The guy from The King of Kong is once again The King of Kong. Steve Wiebe retook the world-record from Billy Mitchell, and the wussiest rivalry in the world was given new life. Bring on the sequel. [Seattle Post-Intelligencer]...

We Have Chosen A Winner Of The Jason Whitlock Photoshop Contest (Gallery)
Yesterday's Jason Whitlock Photoshop Cattle Call provided us with a host of wonderful pictures, but we had to narrow them down to this gallery and pick a winner. Winner and honorable mentions after the jump (second prize, pictured here, goes to Murray Hewitt; good show)....

The New Internet-Friendly OK Go Music Video Is Here
Viral (music) video makers OK Go are back with another video. Gone are the treadmills and creative use of green screens, in are cup-stacking and a bunch of highly trained super dogs. It's better than "November Rain's" video, I guess....