whimsy Page 80 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Arkansas School For The Deaf's Team Nickname? The Leopards, Of Course
Why isn't it spelled "Leppard?" Other names considered by the ASFTD: "Jam," "Dumb and Blind," "Tones," "Arkansas School For The Deaf, Mos" [ASFTD]...
This Sioux City Promotional Video Is So Awful, You'll Want To Move There Ironically
By gathering notable townsfolk for this Up With People-esque extravaganza (and by not paying any attention to Starship's lyrics), Sioux City's promo video has now supplanted Cleveland's as the most unintentionally hilarious instance of civic self-love. H/T @edsbs....
Drew Rosenhaus Breaking Flaming Bricks Is A Metaphor For His Negotiating Skills ... Or Something
Turns out Drew Rosenhaus, noted driveway-press-conference hobbyist, also enjoys training in the martial arts when he isn't forcing your favorite team to give an extra year and $3 million dollar roster bonus to Olindo Mare. [Tauntr]...
Fake Yo-Yo Trickster Fools Every TV Station Everywhere
A strange, strange man has been showing up on morning shows throughout the Midwest, claiming to be a yo-yo trick champion. He is not. He is actually terrible at yo-yo. Yet he keeps getting on the air....
Erin Andrews: "Darrin's Dance Grooves" Superstar
Ten years ago, Darrin Henson was the Tom Emanski of instructional dance videos. He had one enthusiastic pupil, though. Yes, at the :45 mark, the future Sideline Princess was doing her best hard-sell on one of the lamest infomercial videos ever....
Benny The Bull Goes On <em>Jerry Springer</em>, Fights Rival Bull Over Woman
For some reason, Benny the Bull, he of the reckless high-fives and sheriff punches, went on Springer recently and learned that his woman-friend was stepping out on him with another mascot. Metaphors and interpretations welcome below. [Pippen Ain't Easy]...
Attack Of The Customized Jerseys Starts Off With A...Bang
Now that baseball season feels officially official, the customized jerseys are becoming more plentiful. If you see one on par with Captain Fingerbang up there, please send it to [email protected]. Subject: Customized Jersey. (H/T A.Heacock)...
The Ohio State Continues The <em>Glee</em>-ification of America
Reader Dave sends in this video of a flash mob taking over the Ohio Union on Monday. When are people going to learn that extravagant, coordinated routines of obnoxious songs only belong on the NYC Subways?...
A Black Mamba Photoshop-Off? A Black Mamba Photoshop-Off
Yesterday, we drew your attention to a photo spread of Kobe Bryant that appeared in LA Times Magazine. It's a ridiculous set of pictures, and it was only a matter of time before the Photoshop shenanigans began. Do your own handiwork below....
Here's Another Selection From The Mystifyingly Popular Genre Of Funk-Based Sports Fight Songs
The Cincinnati sports scene and funk music go hand in hand like ... something you had no idea went hand in hand. After seeing the Notre Dame and Reds videos, reader Spencer sent along this Bootsy Collins ode to the 2005 Bengals....
Now Here's A Reds Funk Song To Make Their Fan Base Recoil In Shame
Readers Seth & Jen watched that wonderful Notre Dame promo and thought they recognized those Midwestern-sports-funk stylings from the video you see here, a celebration of Reds fandom....
Detroit Lions Linebacker Goes To Target, Loads Up On Jerky, Tampons, For Some Reason
Detroit linebacker Zack Follet, survivor of an encounter with regular lions, got so excited by the football Lions' drafting of a boy named Suh that he went to Target, helmet on head, to buy Band-Aids and tampons for soon-to-be-injured opponents. [Detroit4Lyfe]...
Padres Prospects Display Plus-Plus Nerf-Hoops Acumen
H/T Theodore Donald Kerabatsos for the link and Matt for the embed code....
Bango The Buck's Encore: Battery And Harassment
Bango — drunk with power after surviving last night's dunk — is now harassing Wisconsin's small coterie of Atlanta Hawks fans. Enjoy the dulcet tones of P.O.D. and — I hope — the use of a single Al Horford jersey. H/T Jon....
All Goal Celebrations Should Be Intricately Choreographed Allegories
Three years ago after getting kicked off Silkeborg for fighting, Bajram Fetai, as a member of Nordsjaelland, scored against his former team and celebrated with an elaborate play-fighting routine that would've embarrassed Jerome Robbins. [Big Soccer, H/T Luke]...
Today In Bullshit Excuses: Ben Roethlisberger's Anti-Social Behavior Caused By Concussions
"It's conceivable to think that there is a possibility that those concussions have led to some behavioral issues. The question I pose is simple: Can someone with several chronic or repetitive head injuries later display behavior that is socially undesirable? [PittsburghTribune/SBB]...
Drunk Coachella Guy Is Here To Save The Day
So, today. Well, good intentions, yadda yadda. It ended up being funny in an absurd sense, right? Well, here's a drunk guy at Coachella last weekend who can't quite figure out sandals or the concept of balance. This is not a metaphor....
Ridiculous Rain Delay Proves Once And For All That College People Have Too Much Free Time
Florida Atlantic and Western Kentucky were mired in a rain delay of indeterminate length and decided to get a little silly rather than adjust their jocks and spit sun-flower seeds like those layabout MLBers. H/T, like, 15 of you. [YouTube]...
Shaq Lip-Syncs To That One Rick Springfield Song, With Puppets
Shaquille O'Neal loves to have fun, and fun is what you get when you mix Shaq, puppets, and Rick Springfield's "Jessie's Girl." The only thing missing is a Chinese man named Cosmo lighting some fireworks. [Ustream]...
Sexy White Sox Bathroom Sex Horror Story Brought To Life Through Magic Of CGI
The story of Dr. Paul Nemeth inadvertently bringing his 6 year-old son to a live sex show at a White Sox game was the stuff of speculation. It left many questions unanswered, like "Did anyone throw their pants Mean Joe Green style?"...