white-people Page 3 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

For Clobbering Blake Griffin, Basketball Thug Jason Smith Gets A Light Slap On The Wrist
What's the NBA penalty for deliberately knocking down a star player when he's defenseless, trying to provoke a brawl with his teammates, and then waving your arms to gloat and incite the home crowd after being ejected? Two games. File this one away for the next time David Stern gets mad about the dr...

What Impoverished High-School Football Players Teach Us About The Virtues Of Capitalism: Nothing, Unless You Are A Lunatic Who Writes For <em>Forbes</em>
So I attended a Preview Screening, for free, of the Academy Oscar® Award-winning Documentary-movie Undefeated, in my capacity as a "Film Critic." Later, and not in the theater, because that's rude, while I was Internetting for fact-checking information in re the 2009 Manassas Tigers High School foot...

Go Away Now, Pat Knight, You Loser, Bully, And Pathetic Rage-Case
Who are you going to yell at today, Pat Knight? Who is going to get humiliated in public now that your Lamar basketball team got destroyed in the NCAA play-in game last night?...

There's A White Guy In The Slam Dunk Contest
Fair warning: the lineup for the dunk contest at All-Star weekend is out, and it is uninspiring. You've got Indiana's Paul George, Minnesota's Derrick Williams, New York's Iman Shumpert (assisted by Jeremy Lin), and Houston's Chase Budinger. The superstars won't do these kinds of competitions any mo...

Gather 'Round, Grove, Draper and Ronjohn: The Lacrosse All-Name Team Is Here
What makes a great lacrosse name? There must be a whiff of old money and non-rhotic lockjaw, but it's more than that. In the spirit of Potter Stewart's test for obscenity ("I know it when I see it") and Katie Baker's beloved lacrosse family the Stanwicks (Sheehan, Wick, Coco, Tad, Steele, Wells and ...

Caroline Wozniacki And Rory McIlroy Obnoxiously Remind Us That They Are Nos. 1 And 2 In The World
We should only be so cynical about young love, but young love should only give itself so many insufferable personalized nicknames and offer so many reminders that the young people in question—the Wozz in "Wozzilroy" is 21 years old and the Ilroy is 22—hold the best and second-best world rankings in ...

Idiot Utah Sports Columnist More Or Less Calls Amar'e Stoudemire A Dumb Negro
Doug Robinson, the resident paste-eating troglodyte at the Deseret News, has gone and written a truly remarkable column this week....

Wes Welker Doesn't Know How The White Boy Does It, Either
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Wes Welker reflects on the wonder of his whiteness....

Rory McIlroy And Caroline Wozniacki Give Themselves An Insufferable Couple Nickname: Wozzilroy
If you didn't know, now you now: tennis star Caroline Wozniacki and golf star Rory McIlroy have been dating for a few months. McIlroy recently made his love official by engraving a golf club with the name "Wozzilroy," which is what they have decided we will call them. We, obviously, have decided to ...

Fox Sports Canceled The Show That Made Fun Of USC's Asian Students
Fox Sports announced yesterday that it has permanently canceled the show "The College Experiment," which last week aired a poorly-received experiment at USC. We won't miss you, Bob Oschack! [AP]...

Fox Sports Apologizes To "The Entire USC Community" For Segment That Singled Out USC's Asian Students
Yesterday, Fox Sports aired a segment that featured Bob Oschack giving USC students a "good, old-fashioned All-American welcome" to Colorado and Utah, the newest members of the Pac-1012. The gimmick: Oshack only interviewed Asian USC students—because in the world of misguided network television humo...

<em>GQ</em>'s Michael Vick Story Will Just Make White People Angry Again
This one, penned by Yahoo! movie blogger Will Leitch, drops tomorrow at 7 a.m. so the mag has started to send out embargoed teases to other media outlets to get the buzziest buzz going on this thing but, shit, why wait 12 hours for the good stuff? You'll read it all tomorrow on GQ's website, right? ...

Vermont Discovers The Joy Of Low-Flying Basketball
Lots of young white men have been dunking basketballs in northern Vermont this summer. In about a decade of watching and playing a lot of high school basketball in the Green Mountain State, I saw a total of four successful dunks in live game play. One of those, I remember, came in the 2002 boys' s...

"A Good Deed Never Goes Unpunished, You Know?": Meet The Innovator Who Helped Orchestrate <em>The Decision</em>
There's another important American anniversary to celebrate this week, and one that we should all be congratulated for enduring together: a year ago this Friday, July 8, LeBron James settled into a director's chair at a Greenwich Boys & Girls Club and told Jim Gray about biting his fingernails. He a...

A List Of People To Whom The Internet Has Compared Kyle Singler
Some comparisons, culled from the Internet in advance of Kyle Singler's being drafted approximately one round too early tomorrow. Sic'd:...

Behold The Pride Of The Ohio State University
Police busted a 1,000-strong block party near the OSU campus over the weekend, and these three young gentlemen — from left to right, Michael Shivak, 21, Matthew Coleman, 19, and Brian Witt, 21 — were arrested on charges of a felony assault on a police officer. No idea how Shivak came out so clean....

If Watching White Dudes Trying To Dance In Unison Is Your Thing, This Is The Video For You
The highlight of this video, which would never have been made if not for the mental defect which convinces most baseball players they're totally awesome and funny and kings of the world, comes at the 2:30-2:34. Because slo-mo footage of toast actually is awesome....

Naked Man Invades Home, Steals Prized Kansas Basketball Outfit For Cover
Donald Watson of Springfield, Mo. was charged yesterday for invading a home while naked. While he was there, he donned a former tenant's beloved Kansas basketball outfit and then took off on a police chase; he was ultimately taken into custody after "a run-in with a police dog."...

Kurt Warner Talks Dancing, Theodicy On His <em>Good Day L.A.</em> Interview
Of all places for Kurt Warner to get backed up against a wall, and then repeatedly and viciously head-butted about his religion, a Good Day L.A. interview was not our first guess. But yesterday, the former NFL quarterback and born-again Christian joined Jillian Reynolds, Steve Edwards, and Dorothy...

New Sport's Inspiration Seems To Be Every Sport Ever At Once
About a year ago, some people in Philadelphia convened to create a new sport that is part football, part rugby, part soccer, part team handball, part cornhole, part — actually, it's just a sport clusterfuck. They're calling it kronum. Some of the athleticism on display in this promotional video fo...