winter Page 22 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Longhorn Girl Meets Her Sad, Disturbing Match
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Your Olympics Tape-Delayapalooza Open Thread
Topics for discussion: figure skating, Rick Reilly's Canada jokes, Bruce Arthur's response, snowboarding, speedskating, Lindsey Vonn's shin (and the Jarlsberg she wraps it in), and the men's downhill finals, in which latter event I like Bode Miller's shot at bronze....

Afternoon Olympic Update: Worst Olympics Ever
It's Day 4 and I'm ready to call it. This Olympics sucks....

Nodar Kumaritashvili Was "Scared" Of Olympic Luge Course
The Georgian luger told his father before he died that he was "scared of one of the turns," but the luge federation says it's not the track's fault that he failed to "compensate properly" after a bad curve. Awesome. [WSJ/ESPN/DMN]...

Bill Plaschke, Master Of Finding Controversy Where None Exists
Plaschke's manufactured outrage of the day: "there was no makeshift memorial of flowers or cards, there was no visible memory" of Nodar Kumaritashvili. The photo that runs with the story? A makeshift memorial of flowers and cards. [MSTI]...

With The Cracking Of The Olympic Hippie Skull, The Games Begin In Earnest
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Canada Limited Luger's Training Time In Olympic Runup
We are reminded that Whistler Sliding Centre was among the venues that Canada refused to let other nations' athletes practice on before February, in an attempt to gain a home-country advantage. [NY Times]...

Track's Safety Was Already In Question Before Fatal Crash
When Nodar Kumaritashvili died in a training run this morning, it came after years of hype of the fastest, most dangerous downhill run in the world. No one wants death, but we all want the athletes to risk it....

In Praise Of Team Spicoli
I have a new favorite Olympian, and he is the guy who, when asked yesterday how it feels to be a member of the U.S. snowboarding team, responded with the following bit of bongwater poetry:...

Lindsey Vonn Has A Lot Of Nerve Getting Hurt After Being So Sexy
Lindsey Vonn sure is purty, but who does she think she is? Getting everyone all hot and bothered over our Yankee Doodle Dandy and then having the audacity to break her shin before winning any gold medals! What a tease....

Locus Of Concern Shifts From Lindsey Vonn's Butt To Her Shin
Vonn, the skier last seen farting the Sports Illustrated flag, may miss the Olympics because of a bruised right shin. Don't worry. She's getting excellent medical care: "I wrap my leg in cheese and it takes the swelling down." [LAT]...

Chris Hansen Goes For The Gold
A Polish newspaper mistakenly included among the Olympic mascots Pedobear, 4chan's lovable mascot for pedophilia. Well, some of those figure skaters are pretty young. [Telegraph]...

Lindsey Vonn's Buttocks Are The First Winter Olympics Controversy
Yes. There they are. Her hunched over, haunches on display. But Tasty Bakes says that the only real problem with the Vonn SI cover photo is that it's been done before. [TheAwl]...

NHL Winter Classic: Flyers. Penguins. Or Bruins. Go.
It'd be a shame to neglect hockey fans on their special day. So enjoy the live blog that Melt Your Face Off has going on, and look at Enrico's pretty pictures. What say you, Todd Mc...oh, wait....

Free Skating At Fenway? It'll Cost You
Scalpers, by definition, resell tickets at multiples of face value. Boston scalpers, perhaps having failed math, have marked up ostensibly free tickets by some magic factor that turns zero dollars into: lots of money....

Jason Marquis Final Key To The Nationals 20-Year Rebuilding Plan
Those frisky Nats have bolstered their pitching staff by nabbing someone on their wish list and the Mets continue to be enamored with Japanese players. Jayson Stark sports a mighty chub for springtime so you know it's time for HOTFUCKINGSTOVE....

Zach Lund Is Not One Of Those Balding Dudes Who Shave Their Heads Because They Are Like, In Denial About The Bald Thing
Did you know propecia could be used to mask commonly exploited performance-enhancing drugs? But here's why (besides, like, duh?) to "just say no" to this "folly of follicles", courtesy top-ranked "skeleton racer" Zach Lund…...

Pitchers Make Everyone Swoon (AND ANGRY!)
Rich Harden signs his life over to Arlington and El Fightins will do the awkward here's-your-jersey presentation with Roy Halladay at 5 p.m. Buster Olney's grinding the Jamey Carroll beat. And why does Buster only follow this dude? HOTFUCKINGSTOVE....

No, Vancouver Is The Other Way!
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

Niche Sport Gets Basic Cable Benefactor
Desperately in need of cash, the U.S. speedskating team has turned to that living embodiment of everything that is right and good about America: Stephen Colbert....