wiz Page 13 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
John Wall Is In Control
You may have skipped yesterday's Christmas Day game between the Knicks and Wizards, in part because the craptacular Knicks were involved, and in part because a certain level of pacing is required when there are 12 hours of basketball to watch. If you did skip it, you didn't miss the greatest game ev...
Quincy Acy Tries To Swing On John Wall, Small Brawl Ensues
The Knicks are getting outclassed by the Wizards today, and New York's frustration boiled over in the fourth quarter. With John Wall driving to the hoop, Quincy Acy — perhaps trying to stop another 360-degree layup — hits Wall with a forearm shiver at the right elbow. Wall was having none of that sh...
Wizards Win On Bradley Beal Alley-Oop Layup With 0.8 Seconds Left
Bradley Beal still looks a bit off after missing the first three weeks of the season with a fractured wrist, but this is sure to raise his spirits. The Wizards entered the fourth quarter down eight to the Magic, but a furious rally led by John Wall tied the game on Rasual Butler's free throw with 16...
John Wall Collapses In Tears After Emotional Post-Game Interview
Last season, Wizards guard John Wall befriended cancer patient Miyah Telemaque-Nelson and helped the little girl meet Nicki Minaj. Miyah died today at the age of six, and an inspired Wall scored 26 points with 17 assists in leading Washington to a double-OT win over the Celtics. After the game, he...
John Wall Destroyed The Lakers Last Night
Kobe Bryant and Nick Young hit a bunch of fluky long jumpers in a row during the second quarter of the Lakers' game in DC last night; with around six minutes left in the half they led by 11 points, and if you saw the score (47-36) crawl across the bottom of your screen just then, you might've though...
Andre Miller Throws Some Classic Old-Man Game At The Heat, Scores
Andre Miller is 941 years old and has been in the NBA longer than it has existed; his first career assist, as a matter of fact, was a pocket bounce-pass to a rolling Chester Arthur for a two-handed jam. In all the years since, Gramps has learned a few tricks to augment his nonexistent athleticism, ...
Dion Waiters Goes For Dunk, Gets Destroyed, Is Terrible
Millennial Dion Waiters stinks and is bad; tonight against the Wizards, he tried to dunk on Kevin Seraphin and got stoned—with both hands!—directly to hell. My favorite part is Jon Barry and Mike Breen both initially assuming it must have been a foul, before watching the replay and realizing, yep, ...
Halloween Wizard Nose Looks Like A Hefty Set Of Dick And Balls
We have some bad news for the makers of the Wizard Nose: This thing doesn't look like a wizard's nose, fellas. It looks like an old guy's unit....
Report: Bradley Beal To Miss "Significant" Time With Wrist Injury
Washington Wizards guard Bradley Beal will miss "significant" time after suffering a wrist injury in a preseason game against the Charlotte Hornets Friday, according to CSN Washington's J. Michael. Nobody would give Michael a specific timetable because Beal and the team are still consulting with doc...
The Wizards Lead The NBA In <em>Street Fighter</em> Hairdos
You'll recall last week, when Washington Wizards center Marcin Gortat unveiled his hard-ass new mohawk 'do and transformed instantaneously from an affable Euro dude into a terrifying Death-Slav from hell. Well, it appears that Street Fighter-based coiffures are becoming A Thing on the Wizards: Ch...
Ohio State Band Puts On <em>Wizard Of Oz</em> Show, Featuring Dancing Scarecrow
Pat Fenis and the rest of the Ohio State marching band performed a Wizard of Oz-themed halftime show at the Buckeyes' game last Saturday. The jumping and dancing scarecrow was the best part. Michigan, of course, represented the Wicked Witch of the West....
Wizards Owner Ted Leonsis Is An Insane Blogger
Ted Leonsis is a rich old guy who owns the Washington Wizards and also maintains a blog called Ted's Take. We've come across this blog before, but this morning's entry is really something. It seems that Leonsis has recently graduated from the Jack Torrance School of Blogging....
Marcin Gortat Gets A Hard-Ass Mohawk, Becomes Terrifying
All in all, Marcin Gortat is a pretty good NBA center. He's big, he's strong, he's got pretty nimble feet for his size. He sets devastating screens, he's an outstanding finisher rolling to the hoop, he's generally OK at being in the right place defensively. He also happens to be a ludicrously e...
Marcin Gortat, Talkin' About Porn On A Saturday Night
Some random dude on Twitter openly mused about how Marcin Gortat could afford premium porn after his new $60 million deal with Washington. The Wizards center could have easily ignored the tweet, but instead, he went that extra mile to talk to his fans. About porn....
The Rockies Misspelled Troy Tulowitzki's Name On Jersey Giveaway Night
It's Free Troy Tulowizki Shirt Day at Coors Field, guys! Somehow, some way, the Colorado Rockies had themselves a Troy Tulowitzki Jersey Day and misspelled the man's goddamned name. The only thing they had to do was slap his name on a shirt and they fucked it up. Come on, Rockies. ...
Marcin Gortat Rides Humvee With Giant Gun Into His Basketball Camp
Marcin Gortat was in Poland to make an appearance at his basketball camp today, and he rolled into the gym in style. Which is to say, he arrived manning the pant-shittingly large gun turret of a military vehicle....
Legendary Heckler Robin Ficker Returned To The NBA Last Night
Robert Griffin III, DeSean Jackson, and, uh, Wolf Blitzer attended last night's Pacers-Wizards game at Verizon Center. This, the TNT broadcast made sure to remind us, indicated the Big Deal-ness of the game. The stars came out to cheer on the Wizards!...
Gilbert Arenas Lives To Hate On Roy Hibbert
Roy Hibbert pooped the bed again last night, failing to score a single point or pull down a single rebound in 18 minutes against the Wizards. Watching Roy Hibbert play like shit for the last eight games has been the most depressing thing about these playoffs, but his struggles have also brought a gr...
Man Reports From Basketball Court. What Happens Next Might Shock You
Nah, it won't. CSN Washington's J. Michael took a basketball to the dome during a live shot before the Wizards game against the Pacers tonight....
I Can't Stop Looking At This Washington Wizards Hustle Chart
The Washington Wizards are relatively dope this year, and are currently resting their legs after laying that five-game smackage on the Sad Chicago Bulls. What's changed this year, besides a great offseason (Otto Porter notwithstanding) and a great Marcin Gortat trade and the steady progression of a ...