woods Page 21 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Manny Ramirez Heroically Shops For Discount Electronics On Injured Calf
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day...

Joslyn James Will Make Precisely As Many Tour Appearances As Tiger
James will follow Tiger to Charlotte, appearing at a local strip club while he plays Quail Hollow in two weeks. How long will she keep this up? Months? Years? Decades? Knowing strippers, I'll say decades. [Charlotte Observer]...

Jim Nantz, You Suck! Goddammit!
Nantz pronounces himself appalled at Tiger's naughty language. "How about the father and son who are standing right there by the tee? How about the hundreds of people who are around that tee who hear that?" How about you fuck yourself? [Chron.com]...

Plane Owner Claims FAA Shake Down Over Masters "Bootyism" Banner
The owner of the aerial sign company that flew anti-Tiger Woods banners over The Masters says the FAA silenced him with a "bogus" safety inspection. If planes existed when the First Amendment was written, this would totally be in there....

Family Values Win The Weekend
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Phil Mickelson, who won his third Masters without even having to cheat on his cancer-stricken wife. Days like this make a sportswriter's job real easy....

The Masters, Lefty, And What's Been Left Behind
Remember when Phil Mickelson was the guy who couldn't win the big one? Seems so long ago. Golf and time have a way of doing that. So, Tiger, this too shall pass....

Tiger Sums It Up Nicely: "You Suck, Goddammit"
Li'l Eldrick sliced a shot and let off a string off profanity that would make Ned Flanders faint. Related: Verne Lundquist has a degree in psychology and is an expert at reading people. H/T Jenny, H/T Dave....

"Lurking" Tiger's Hogan Bragging: Your Masters Open Thread
Two strokes back in the Masters, Tiger Woods compared his comeback to Ben Hogan's. And so the story of a man saving his wife from being killed by a bus has been co-opted by a man who threw his underneath....

A Roundup Of Zombie Earl Woods Commercial Parodies (LOTS MORE UPDATES)
After the debut of Tiger's new commercial, it was inevitable that the spot would be parodied over and over again, with varying levels of success. Here are a bunch of the good ones....

The Masters Invaded By Airborne Pranksters Asking Tiger Woods About "Bootyism"
Augusta National's authoritarian fussbudgets do not yet hold dominion over the skies, as proved by whoever hired this plane to circle above The Masters today. Also, it's $1 wing night at Déjà Vu. [Video via ESPN, surprisingly.]...

Your Prone-To-Be-Inquisitive Masters Open Thread
Tiger is teeing off at 1:42. Dan Jenkins is tweeting. Jim Nantz is flipping through a rhyming dictionary. Billy Payne is being stupid somewhere. And Zombie Earl Woods is promoting discussion (and Nike). Talk about it below. [Masters.com]...

Last Night's Winner: Shameless Corporate Whores
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Nike Industrial Shoe Works Corp., who made advertising history last night by somehow turning pathetic, unprincipled skirt-chasing into a compelling pitch for golf clubs....

The Deadspin Field Guide To Tiki's And Tiger's Barely Legal Liaisons
Two superstars, both caught with (much) younger women. This looks bad, but it's possible for Tiki Barber and Tiger Woods to minimize the damage. We offer some helpful dos and don'ts for everyone on how to conduct their Nabokovian affairs....

Nike Unveils Weird New Tiger Ad, Starring Zombie Earl Woods
Nothing moves athletic apparel like bringing a dead man back to life to talk solemnly about his son's wandering schlong. [YouTube]...

Tiger's New Lady, Raychel Coudriet, In Photos. Maybe.
According to this website, these may be photos of Tiger's latest young lassie to come forward. Also, The Post has fun texts from Tiger to her: "Are you touching yourself? I want to fuck you."...

Tiger Woods Also Made Sweet, Sweet Love To His Winsome 21-Year-Old Neighbor, National Enquirer Says
I assume this wasn't the news Tiger received via SMS yesterday. And now there's a race to see who can find a Facebook photo of young Raychel Coudriet the fastest. We'll update when that happens.[Radaronline]...

Tiger Ingratiates Himself One First Name At A Time
Tiger's working really hard to get back into the public's good graces. Kicking off his comeback with that softball interview and a trip to the media-light Masters tournament were great ideas. Though everyone wants to bother him, no one will....

Masters Security Keeps Gallery Free Of Tiger's Unsavory Skanks
"Security guards at Augusta National were actually carrying around a sheet with the mug shots of Woods' alleged mistresses, with one of the guards asking a woman at the fifth hole, "Are you the stripper?" That's nice work, boys. [Star-Ledger]...

Lucky Augusta Fans Get To Rub Tiger's Balls
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

The Balls Deep Tiger Heckling Challenge!
Augusta National and CBS are going to go out of their way this week to make sure everything is all hunky dory for Tiger Woods. Well, why the fuck should YOU have to cooperate?...