world-cuppage Page 9 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

In Defense Of The Vuvuzela
The backlash to the backlash has begun and I have to say that I'm glad. If you think the vuvuzela is an evil torture device that should be banned from all sport, then you can blow it out your ass....

"If They Decide To Start Killing Us," The Young Afrikaner Said, "We Are Ready"
JOHANNESBURG — See this button? It's called a panic button. It was given to me by my hosts at a guesthouse in Johannesburg. If I press it, I was told, men with automatic weapons will appear and possibly spray the street with bullets in order to quell the panic....

Your Culturally Insensitive World Cup Goal Roundup For June 14
Lots of exciting goals today — Japan's Keisuke Honda scoring off of a nice cross and Italy's Daniele De Rossi off a corner kick especially — but let's look at all of them in a culturally insensitive manner....

Cell Phone-Bosomed Paraguay Girl Is The Star Of The World Cup So Far
You can be happy, the rest of your life, with a Paraguay Girl. Even the Italians, who had to settle for a troubling tie from the scrappy republic known primarily for its political unrest and its chief export, mandals....

Yes, Soccer Is Gay
According to this report, from America's finest news source. [Onion Sports Network]...

World Cup Open Thread: Italy-Paraguay
Mandioca! Anything carbonara! Fight! It's Italy and La Albirroja, the darkhorse Paraguayan squadron. Bring your best Pavarotti jokes and comment as you watch the last of today's matches....

U.S.A.-England Tie Given The Lego Treatment
Here's the Lego version of the U.S. England goal. You haven't lived until you've seen a Lego Robert Green lay down on a Lego soccer field in Lego shame. H/T Denton. [The Guardian, via Business Insider]...

Americans Still Coming To Terms With The Rules Of Victory
This post, written by Josh Burt, is republished with permission from The Spoiler. Go there often if you like soccer stuff....

Your Culturally Insensitive Weekend World Cup Goal Roundup (Video)
Last time around, we didn't have that many goals and thus only a few chances to express woeful ignorance about other countries' cultures. This time? Eleven goals over six games. So let's get stupid....

World Cup Open Thread: Japan-Cameroon
Japan's captain Makoto Hasebe is reportedly fully healed from a back injury, but can he lead Samurai Blue past Internazionale badass Samuel Eto'o and the rest of the Indomitable Lions? Should be a sizzler, so comment below....

World Cup Open Thread: Netherlands-Denmark
Day 4 kicks off with The Flying Dutchpersons taking on the very punny Olsen's Eleven while people the world over incorrectly point out which country is which on a map. Follow the consonant-filled action below....

A Reader Gives Us The Origin Of The World Cup "Sex Machines" Sign
Reader Josh H. has been deputized to the I-team: It's a song by Ghana rap group "Ruff N Smooth" called "Sex Machine." The the people of Ghana do love their humping....

World Cup Open Thread: Germany-Australia
The Ballack-less Mannschaft take on the adorably named Socceroos. Precision and efficiency or laid-back and hilarious accents, take your pick....

Last Night's Winner: Robert Green
In sports, everyone's a winner, some just win better than others. Like Robert Green, who is pretty much a loser in every country afraid of the letter "z". But over here, he'd get a one-man parade down the Canyon of Heroes....

World Cup Open Thread: Serbia-Ghana
Serbia tries to turn off The Black Stars. Aleksander Hemon is confused as to whom to root for. Serbia. Ghana. World fucking Cup. Read some Aleksander Hemon before the game, he's the tops....

World Cup Open Thread: Algeria-Slovenia
Here we go, Day 3. The Desert Foxes take on the Fightin' Titos to see which team can save the most face before letting England and the U.S. advance to the knockout stages....

ESPN Gives Clint Dempsey Unfortunate Nickname
So that was fun, huh? The U.S. played to a draw today thanks in large part to Robert Green's colossal cock-up. Green is expected to be Temple of Doom'd by Capello later this evening. Next up: Slovenia, lower TV ratings....

World Cup Open Thread: England-United States
U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-...

Annoying Use Of The Vuvuzela Throughout History: A Video Retrospective
By now you should be familiar with the vuvuzela, whose buzzing has become the unofficial anthem of the World Cup. Here's a compilation of great moments in history, film, and the internet that may or may not have been improved by vuvuzelas....