wrestling Page 57 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
When Jelly Wrestling Gets Ugly
Normally I wouldn't deign to write about such a mindless activity as collegiate jelly wrestling, but this story is way too good to pass up. The Daily Mail (via Unprofessional Foul) comes the story of a Cambridge lass who took a match of jelly wrestling a bit too seriously....
Mayweather Practically Unbeatable When Armed With Metal Furniture
Remember the good old days, when boxers waited until they were old and washed up before turning up on the professional wrestling circuit? Of course then you don't make $20 million just for showing up, as Floyd Mayweather did on Sunday at WrestleMania XXIV in a completely legitimate not-at-all script...
For A Minute There I Thought This Might Look Ridiculous
My first question before ordering one of these is, does it come in teal? Deuce of Davenport found this in a wrestling supply catalog, but I imagine that it could also come in handy on the basketball court, or just in the schoolyard to fend off bullies. Although there's always the danger of your head...
No Worries, Everyone: The Wrestlers Do Not Have Herpes. Sorry For The False Alarm.
Yeah, see, now this is a tough spot: A California high school thought it had an outbreak of herpes on its hands. (And its lips ... and its ...) So they announced to everyone that herpes had attacked. Obviously, everyone looked at the wrestling team. And now it turns out there's no herpes at all....
Titans To Pacman: You Shant Pretend Wrestle
When we last left our intrepid yet suspended NFL hero, which was yesterday, we were speculating the possibility of wrestlers exacting revenge on Pacman Jones for what one of Jones' lackeys did to a strip club bouncer-slash-wrestling hopeful. So either the Tennessee Titans are afraid something might ...
Yes, EIU Wrestlers, We Understand Your Point
Last month, the Eastern Illinois University wrestling program was discontinued by the school, which cited low academic marks from the team. The grapplers immediately protested in the only way they know how....
Eric Mangini Will Look For Help From Men In Tights
For all the talk that Bill Belichick is a genius — genius with your WIFE! — it's his former assistant Eric Mangini, with the Jets, who's making the real "Look at me, I'm a mad scientist!" moves. Witness the Jets' rookie minicamp, to which Mangini invited two potential Olympic wrestlers. This even th...
The Iron Sheik Is A Charming Man
I had no idea there were that many no-good motherfuckers in the world. I'm not sure, because I can't understand everything he's saying, but ... I think The Sheik even finds time to Barry Bonds a no-good motherfucker. It's at about the 1:33 mark, before says, "Tito Santana is a Mexican. He's OK. Bett...
Ohio State Grapplers Like To Shake It
So last week, the Ohio State wrestling team entered into some talent show that was judged, along with others, by Buckeyes football coach Jim Tressel (he's also judging the talent show at Maurice Clarett's prison). It wasn't necessarily a bad year for OSU wrestling, but if this video is any indicatio...
Finally, Jerry Lawler On Your Cell Phone
After what seems an eternity, our two favorite things are now together: Cell phones and the WWE. Cingular Wireless has entered an agreement with World Wrestling Entertainment Inc. to launch a mobile Web portal for convienient, one-touch access to all of your favorite pro wrestlers (we have it on goo...
Rulon Gardner Is Indestructible
You might remember Rulon Gardner, the Wyoming-born wrestler who came from nowhere and won a Gold Medal in the 2000 Olympics. Since then, he has made his living as a motivational speaker, which is probably why God keeps trying to kill him....
Who's Sorry Now? Naked Hi-Jinx Edition
Simply put, we can think of no more embarrassing yet hilarious opening line to a letter than this:...
Baseball Players Hitting Each Other With Chairs
For those of you who pay attention to such matters, TNA wrestling is having some sort of pay-per-view event this weekend that will feature "Team Pierzynski" vs. "Team Eckstein." That's A.J. Pierzynski and David Eckstein, two people who have never been in our kitchen. In this "promo" clip, Pierzynski...
The Loneliest Boy In Rural Nebraska
So, remember the story about the Minnesota State Athletic Association canceling a week's of wrestling matches because of an outbreak of herpes? (You might remember it more for our "don't Google Image search 'herpes'" warning, which still stands.) Well, it turns out that they've isolated the Patient ...
Meet The Ron Mexico Memorial League
There would seem to be a rather finite number of reasons an entire high school athletic association would consider suspending all wrestling competitions for more than a week. We'd have to say that a massive herpes breakout might be one of them....
K-Fed Will Totally Kick Your Ass, Bitches
When our chimp-like ancestors first descended from the trees and began walking upright about 6 million years ago, little did they know that it would lead to this. You should have warned us, Charles Darwin. Damn you to hell!...
Reminding Your Opponent Who Is No. 1
It was the ancient Greeks who brought us the sport that would become modern competitive wrestling, and if we've learned anything from the Greeks, it's this: One man's wrestling move is another man's anal sex. In a story we're a little behind late in reporting from Sioux Falls, S.D., a high school ...
David Eckstein Is One Scrappy, Gutty Wrestler
We don't cover much professional wrestling around here, because, as athletic an enterprise as it might be, it's not really, you know, sports. But — shockingly! — tons of professional athletes love wrestling; we think it's the tights....
All We Can Say Is, Crikey
This is probably not even considered inside the realm of sports, but when a guy in khaki shorts suddenly appears on your television wrestling a large emu — when no large emu wrestling had ever been on your television before — well, that's sports to us. We were saddened to learn of the death of "The ...
And The Lord Said: 'Matches Shall Be Two Out Of Three Falls. And No Gouging.'
We're not sure at which sports the Son of God excelled (the Bible is curiously silent on the issue), but we just bet He would have been a ferocious wrestler. Heights Baptist Church in Beech Island, S.C., apparently agrees, which is why they started a "Wrestling For Jesus" ministry three years ago. A...