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The Madness Of Matsuzaka
As Baseball Prospectus' Joe Sheehan has been warning us, and Yahoo's Jeff Passan echoes, the baseball contracts you're going to see this winter will blow your mind; teams are ready to spend like crazy. But, still: Our jaws are still dropped that the Boston Red Sox are paying $51.1 million just for t...

"I Took You Out Because You're Not SMILING Out There"
Well, we know college basketball season is officially upon us: Bob Knight is being accused of brutalizing a player again. This time, it was Texas Tech sophomore forward Michael Prince, who made the mistake of not making eye contact with Knight while being lectured after a timeout. Knight bopped Prin...

Welcome To Boston, Matsuzaka (Maybe)
Tonight, about 8 p.m. Eastern, Japanese non-gyroball thrower Daisuke Matsuzaka could announce which team has won the bid to win the rights to bid for his services. The whole situation has been tinged with rumors of malfeasance in the bidding process, but the clubhouse leaders at this point: The Bo...

The Greatest YWML Reference Of All Time (So Far)
So, Saturday morning, we woke up, full of enthusiasm for a beautiful New York City afternoon, and we checked our email. There were, strangely, 211 new email messages; that's a lot for a weekend. We weren't sure what we'd missed; did Carl Monday do a story on Fred Smoot or something?...

A Very Unmanly Night Of Boxing
At Madison Square Garden tonight, Muhammad Ali will be in the house, and the IBF heavyweight title is on the line. There was a time when that would've meant something. Tonight, however, Muhammad's only there to support his daughter, and the guy who's challenging for the world heavyweight title would...

Let's Revisit That Rose Bowl, USC
Yahoo! Sports, seemingly dedicated to the sole pursuit of torturing the University of Southern California, has done some digging about the instant replay booth in last year's national championship game. They've discovered that it was an incorrectly hooked-up replay monitor that prevented the prope...

How To Deal With Angry, Suing Fans
Remember that A's-Rangers game from a couple of years ago, when Rangers reliever Frank Francisco threw a chair into the stands and broke some lady's nose? Well, that lawsuit in still going on, and it appears the Rangers are sparing no expense in their quest to discredit the lady's husband, whose hec...

Please, Sir, Keep The Gutteral Utterances To Yourself
This is Al Argibay, and he has a goatee and, we presume, walks around making this arm motion all day. And he's pissed, because he was just thrown out of his gym for grunting too loud....

See? It's Not So Hard To Get Hired By ESPN
We've mentioned this before, but we have much sympathy for the plight of the veteran female sideline reporter. Lots of these women, Lesley Visser, Suzy Kolber, so on, have been working the NFL beat for years, and not only do you have to deal with Joe Namath trying to lick your face, you have to also...

Free Darko Previews: Amare Stoudemire
We're at the start of the NBA season, with all its drama storylines and sturm und drang and months of madness. To us, part of the beauty of the NBA is that its focus, while ultimately on the team, falls on the individual. The plight of one player becomes an epic tale in the shadow of Jordan; who is ...

Tell Them Billy Buck Is Here
This year marks the 20th anniversary of Bill Buckner's infamous error in the 1986 World Series. We've always imagined him as a tragic figure, forever haunted by that moment, perhaps wandering the Pacific Northwest in a faded Red Sox jacket looking for a handout, like Sylvester Stallone in the openin...

Someday, There Will Be The JayTheJoke.com Civic Center
In case you were wondering what the worst named stadium in American sports was, here you go: The Jobing.com Arena, the new home of the Phoenix Coyotes (and Arizona Sting, whoever the hell that is). So many directions to go with this name, we're just not sure where to start....

Does This Mean The Curse Is Back On?
It's our sad duty to report that Nelson de la Rosa, who was known as the world's smallest actor and who was a friend of pitcher Pedro Martinez, has died at the age of 38, of unknown causes. De la rosa had just arrived in the U.S. from Chile to visit relatives. The 2-foot-4 de la Rosa had become kn...

Corey Sanders Does Not Fight Any Better Than He Looks
I tried to look around for a more colorful recap of last night's Mike Tyson "fight," but honestly, there was enough in the Associated Press article to amuse me. Fans who were lucky enough to be in attendance for the first stop on "Mike Tyson's World Tour" were treated to twelve golden minutes of M...

Mike Tyson Would Like To Help You Carry Those Groceries To Your Car
Meet the new Mike Tyson. He's relaxed, he's sweet; he's whistling a happy tune. Frankly, we'd be less surprised if Kim Jong Ill suddenly began a tour of the U.S. singing old Bobby Sherman hits, but there you have it. There's a bluebird on his shoulder. Are we as a nation ready for this? Tyson appe...

Tommy Morrison's Confusing Confusion
Far be it from us to deny a guy the opportunity to make a living, and we consider ourselves open-minded ... but we had to say, when there's open debate as to whether or not are HIV-positive, we kind of think maybe you shouldn't be boxing....

Mike Tyson Would Like You To Pay Him So He Can Have Sex With You
Think you guys can handle one more Mike Tyson bit? Sure, why not, right?...

A Man Like This Has No Business On A "Practice Squad"
Guess who's back everybody!...

A-Rod Could Have His Own Build-A-Bear Workshop
The Cubs, a team we remind you finished behind the Pirates this year, hired Lou "Let's Not Bring Up The Two Languages Thing Again, Please" Piniella as manager yesterday, and, according to ESPN, he wants to bring A-Rod to town....

Come Watch Mike Tyson Fight A Kangaroo
So, it's come to this. You thought Mike Tyson had hit bottom? You know nothing of the bottom, my friend. You can't handle the bottom! As part of Mike Tyson's World Tour which launches on Friday, the 40-year-old announced that some of his opponents may be women....