x Page 1024 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Watch An Old Man Cheat Death ... LIVE On Fox!
Slow, public meltdowns are no fun to watch, not even for the notoriously nasty and morbid voyeurs of the Internets. Which is why we await tonight's Evander Holyfield fight with a sense approaching dread. The fight, in Dallas and broadcast live on Fox Sports Net, pits the 43-year-old former champ (...
One Must Be Careful Of Those Midnight "Inconvenient Truth" Screenings
You know, if you had told us an NBA player was going to take a couple shots at the White House, we would have thought it would have been Etan Thomas. (We kid Etan Thomas; his political beliefs are sincere, just like his poetry about Abe Pollin's prostate.)...
Fox NFL Sunday Now Featuring Only Jimmy Johnson's Breasts
Lost in all the hullabaloo yesterday about Joe Buck taking over as studio host for Fox NFL Sunday was this little nugget of info: "Wacky" female presence Jillian Barberie is leaving the show with little fanfare. And by "little fanfare," we mean it: She's not even mentioned in the press release that ...
The Closer: The Day The Bats Stood Still
Notes from a day in baseball:...
Hasim Rahman, Great American Hero
There's a big fight tonight on pay-per-view. Hasim Rahman, the only American boxer that still holds a heavyweight title, fights for American pride against Oleg Maskaev....
The Closer: In Which We Inadvertantly Prop Up The White Sox
Notes from a day in baseball:...
Greg Maddux, Wise Man In The Clubhouse
Earlier, we talked about new Dodgers pitcher Greg Maddux's pretty debut for Los Angeles, tossing a no-hitter for six innings and generally showing why it's always a pleasure to have a Greg Maddux on your team....
The Closer: Maddux Throws Himself A Housewarming Party
Notes from a day in baseball:...
Some Good Ole' Texas Schadenfreude
As you would probably suspect, many Oklahoma rivals are having some fun with this Rhett Bomar no-show job business, and nobody's going crazier with it than the Hook 'Ems of Texas. They've had a little photoshop contest on a Longhorns message board, and they're having all kinds of fun....
Jay Mariotti Has Returned
Fret not, loyal Chicago-area readers: Your long national nightmare is now over. After a month-long "vacation" that followed Ozzie Guillen Fag-gate, Chicago Sun-Times "columnist" Jay Mariotti has signed a three-year deal with the paper, assuring his smiling face will grace the paper's pages four days...
Boeheim Must Have Had Some Hand In This
We don't mean to imply that the Syracuse football team might not be so good this year, but they have a wide receiver who is five-foot-four. We think our family dog is taller than that....
Trev Alberts Returns To TV (Kind Of)
You might not remember this, since it was almost a year ago and we typically can't remember what happened last week, but last September college football analyst Trev Alberts was fired by ESPN for "not showing up for work", though we have mostly heard since then that Alberts was fed up with the carto...
Bedtime Stories With Alex Rodriguez
You might think you know Yankees third baseman/perpetual ESPN target Alex Rodriguez, but you don't know him at all. Only through his illustrated children book can you possibly being to understand him....
Also, They Make Their Tamales Way Too Hot
It takes a special kind of person to come into a verbal confrontation with White Sox manager Ozzie Guillen and come out looking like the more unreasonable one ... but if anyone can do it, it's Andy Van Slyke....
The Closer: Can't Anyone Follow A Simple $%#&%! Order?
Notes from a day in baseball:...
Chalk One Up For The Little Guy
And so the debate rages: Does Johnny Damon, or doesn't he, suck? We refuse to take sides, but one thing we can report is that our nation's babies are now involved. A New Bedford housewife, still miffed over Damon's defection to the Yankees, had been trying to sell "Johnny Damon Sucks" baby bibs on...
Who Loves Ya, Baby?
We find it hysterical that we live in a day and age that it's legitimately shocking news when a two-time NBA MVP shaves his head. We're not quite sure what Phoenix Suns point guard Steve Nash was thinking when he decided to shear all his locks, but we're imagining it involved either Molson or an e...
The Closer: In Boston, Less Is More
Notes from a day in baseball ......