x Page 768 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Even Danny Woodhead's Butterfingers Can't Stop New England From Scoring: Patriots-Texans In Four GIFs
New England 42, Houston 14: Tom Brady had four touchdowns and 296 yards. Matt Schaub? He also participated in the game. New England running backs accounted for 127 yards rushing and another touchdown. Houston running backs had 99 yards and one touchdown. The Patriots ran only two more plays, but out...
Chicago Man Stabs Bar Patron In The Neck, Throws His Own Shit All Over A Police Station
Having to go the bathroom at a bar is the worst. It always smells like piss and shit, everything is either soaking wet or sticky, drunk dudes always want to strike up a conversation, and sometimes crazy people jump out from the bathroom stall and stab you in the neck with a broken beer bottle. From...
Manny Pacquiao's Mom Thinks He Lost Because He's No Longer A Catholic
Manny Pacquiao got knocked out on a devastating punch by Juan Manuel Márquez in the sixth round. Like many people, Filipinos were in utter shock to see their idol faceplant in the ring. Pacquiao's mom, however, provided a rational, well thought-out reason as to why her son lost his welterweight bou...
The Shitty Parent's Guide To Children's Christmas Presents
Christmas is coming, which gives you a golden opportunity to squander money and add to the mounting clutter inside your home. There are millions of options when it comes to buying presents for your children and then pretending that Santa gave them those presents and then resenting the fact that the ...
The Texas Longhorns' Basketball Season In A Nutshell: This Blown Layup In A Game They Lost By 2
Yesterday's UCLA-Texas game from Reliant Stadium in Houston was billed as a battle between two college basketball heavyweights. For the 2,797 who showed up (it was, we hear, even less than that in reality) it was instead a bout between lousy squads that are but a shadow of the competitive teams th...
A Bloodied Juan Manuel Márquez Annihilated Manny Pacquiao With This Brutal Sixth-Round Knockout Punch
The fourth iteration of Pacquiao-Márquez did not disappoint, coming to the end at 2:59 of the sixth round when Juan Manuel Márquez connected flush with Pac-Man's face and dropped him to the mat, winning by TKO....
How Keyon Dooling Ended Up In A Mental Hospital
In November, David Aldridge wrote about the nervous breakdown Keyon Dooling suffered after he abruptly retired from the NBA just before the season. At 32, Dooling could have played another a few years and made a lot more money on a good Celtics team that was happy to have him; instead, feeling unli...
Tommy Tuberville Is Going To Cincinnati Even Though There Will Hardly Be A Big East To Greet Him When He Gets There
Tommy Tuberville is going to fill Butch Jones's old ass groove at Cincinnati. Three years ago, coming off of a decade of success at SEC-powerhouse Auburn, going to a Big East team, even a strong Big East team, would have seemed crazy. Now, after three middling years at Big 12 Texas Tech, the most re...
A Skeptic's Guide To The 2012 Heisman Trophy
Remember the lullaby afternoons of September, when we all figured we'd see a Heisman winner who merited the award? Maybe a Geno Smith, slinging the ball all over the yard, or even a Matt Barkley, who despite being named after Big Bird's dog had the right pedigree and weaponry (Robert Woods and Marqu...
How ESPN's Dan Rafael Became The Most Important Journalist In Boxing: A Cautionary Tale
Dan Rafael is the most important boxing journalist in the world, merely by dint of being the only full-time boxing correspondent at ESPN. He has access—to fighters, to promoters, to fans—that other writers could only imagine. He has 70,000 followers on Twitter; few other full-time boxing writers can...
Most Annoying Sports Bloggers, Ranked By Sport
4. Football 3. Hockey 2. Baseball 1. Basketball...
Cockblocked By Creationism!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase three heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....
Fat Chipper Jones Has Divorced His Wife And Is Now Dating <em>Playboy</em> Model Taylor Higgins, AKA Lexi Ray
Leave it to those sleuths of scuzz over at Busted Coverage to make a find like this. Chipper Jones has retired, finalized his divorce from his second wife, and now appears to be dating Taylor Higgins, better known to the world as Lexi Ray or Lexi Ray Taylor, depending on when you might have been loo...
Bob Arum Claims Floyd Mayweather Turned Down $100 Million To Fight Manny Pacquiao
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Money can't be swayed by money....
Watch Some Dogs Drive Some Cars
In New Zealand, dogs are learning how to drive cars. That's really all there is to say about this video. Oh, and the dogs aren't driving automatic cars. They're being taught how to drive stick. I don't know how to drive stick....
Mark Sanchez Will Stay The Jets' Starter, Reportedly Against The Wishes Of Woody Johnson
Despite Greg McElroy's season-saving drive against the Cardinals—the most celebrated 5-for-7 in team history, perhaps—Mark Sanchez is still the Jets' quarterback. Sanchez will start Sunday in Jacksonville, McElroy will return to holding a clipboard, and the Jets drama train rolls on....
Tuesday Night Fights: A Supervillain Is Born, Then She Pisses Herself
Welcome to Tuesday Night Fights, a weekly celebration and analysis of street-fight videos found on YouTube. Tonight's fisticuffs: 'Philly Girl Fight." Tonight's commentator: Gawker's Caity Weaver, who just happens to be my favorite writer of all....
Andre Johnson Spent $19,521.14 At Toys "R" Us For Kids In Child Protective Services' Care
Here's one to get you in the spirit of the season. Renowned nice guy Andre Johnson went down to Toys "R" Us and bought toys for foster kids in Texas' Child Protective Services. We haven't verified whether $19,521.14, the amount cited by a random Instragram commenter, is exact, but with a receipt th...
San Diegans Who Tuned In To Their CBS Affiliate For The Morning News Instead Found Some Dude's Balls [Probably NSFW]
San Diego CBS affiliate KFMB's morning news features a regular segment with shitty "morning zoo" jocks from the local megacorp-owned mass communication dinosaur that is an FM radio station. Usually these segments are unfunny, marginally offensive, and interesting only to those who have suffered br...
What Will Football Look Like 50 Years From Now?
I'm sick this week, and when you have children being sick is the BEST. You don't have to do jack shit. You can go nap. You can mainline chicken broth directly into your wrist. You can opt out of bath duty and dish duty and garbage duty. The other parent has to do all the work. It's awesome. It's lik...