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Cockblocked By Joe Mauer!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase two heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....
Some Texas A&M Fan Snuck Onto The Field And Watched The Alabama Game From The Aggies' Sideline
Texas A&M's upset of Alabama was undoubtedly a thrill for every Aggie fan. But imagine what it must have been like for the guy in the top right corner of the photo above. No wonder dude jogged off the field at halftime with such a shit-eating grin: On an A&M message board, he tells the story of how ...
What Can NFL Player Polls Teach Us About What NFL Players Think Other People Think?
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The Red Sox Will Use All That Uncommitted Money Burning A Hole In Their Pocket
Remember when the Red Sox traded Josh Beckett, Carl Crawford, Adrian Gonzalez and Nick Punto (ha, Nick Punto) to the Dodgers for some prospects, James Loney and salary relief? A quarter-billion dollars worth of salary relief? Look at all that spendable money floating around. Right now, $45 million ...
Here's That Alabama Fan's Video Game Meltdown, Set To The Game Footage
Monday, we brought you this, which was amazing: an XBox live gamer freaking out in his game as he watched Bama lose to Texas A&M. Now someone has helpfully set the audio to the actual game footage. Still hilarious....
This Is How The World Wound Up With That Famous Shirtless Mug Shot Of Johnny Manziel
We told you the other day all about Texas A&M quarterback Johnny Manziel, including his little arrest last June, when he was charged with three misdemeanors after a late-night fight in College Station. In a nutshell, Manziel got in a fight, a College Station municipal police officer broke up the fig...
The Bro-iest Christmas Wish List Ever Written
Color us shocked—we had no idea that grown-ups A) made wish lists and B) spent hours putting them together. But when we posted a 21-year-old woman's incredibly detailed list yesterday, the feedback was equally split between those who thought she was a spoiled adult baby, and those who didn't see wha...
Former Texans Punter Suing Reliant Stadium Owners For Being Injured By Its Crappy Field
This week, the Texans brought in a handful of veteran kickers for tryouts. They're reportedly happy with Shayne Graham's field goals, but wish he could get a little more distance on kickoffs. They had a decent candidate last year, an undrafted rookie K/P out of Central Michigan named Brett Hartmann,...
21-Year-Old Woman's Endless Christmas Wish List Will Make You Want To Punch Something
We reiterate that this person is not a child. She is 21, legally an adult, presumably with or on the verge of full financial independence. Each year the Massachusetts woman creates a wish list, filled with every conceivable thing she might want, and sends it out to her entire family....
Rockets Demote Royce White, Who Blasts Team For "Inconsistent" Actions Regarding His Anxiety Disorder
Indeed, as a mid-first round pick, there were high hopes that Royce White could ably compete in the NBA this season, despite the widespread acknowledgement and acceptance of the anxiety disorder that he has lived with for years. Now, the relationship between White and Rockets management has devolved...
Tuesday Night Fights: A Funeral Director Sees PPV Potential In A Rumble By A Casket
Welcome to Tuesday Night Fights, a weekly celebration and analysis of street-fight videos found on YouTube. Tonight's fisticuffs: "Fight at a Texas funeral." (Editor's Note: RIP to the deceased.) Tonight's commentator: Joe Lombardo, CEO & Funeral Director at the Williams Lombardo Funeral Home in C...
Rick Reilly's "I Had This First On Twitter": The Triumphal Dance Remix
When a live ESPN camera caught Rick Reilly ordering Stu Scott to credit Reilly's Twitter feed, it was an embarrassment for the former back-page Sports Illustrated writer. (Fellow panelist Steve Young was so disgusted he gives Reilly a "C'mon, man!" nudge.) We couldn't let it go with just the raw v...
The Hater's Guide To The Williams-Sonoma Catalog
(The 2013 edition can be found here.)...
The Case For The NFL Adopting Fantasy Scoring For Real
Your letters:...
Do Foreign Footballers Really Dive More?
This Regressing entry is brought to you by our clever friends at the Harvard College Sports Analysis Collective. Today: how Premier League diving might be a cultural phenomenon....
Here Is A Drunk And Racist Texas A&M Fan Starting A Fight In An Airport
You have to listen carefully, but this drunk Texas A&M fan definitely drops two n-bombs while trying to goad another passenger into fisticuffs. He doesn't get the beating you might wish upon him, but let's hope plenty of internet shame is coming his way....
Here's A Radio Ad Using Smooth R&B To Sell Tactical Firearms To Women
The Paul Finebaum radio program is a must-listen on Mondays after Alabama losses, but almost as good as the panicked redneck phone calls are Finebaum’s advertisers. Here’s one we’re told has been running a few months, from Hoover’s Tactical Firearms in Birmingham. (That’s the gun range that made ne...
A Crimson Tide Fan Watches Alabama Lose And Melts Down In His <i>Modern Warfare 3</i> Game
Online multiplayer is great for exposing you to a wide swath of humanity. Most of that swath is 13-year-old boys hurling slurs, but there's other stuff too. Like this, from a game of Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3, played Saturday evening just as Johnny Manziel and Texas A&M were finishing up thei...
Until A Few Minutes Ago, Duke's Official Site Featured A Women's Lacrosse Player Wearing Blackface
The picture you see above is a screenshot from an article on GoDuke.com, the official site for Duke University athletics. In the photo are members of the women's lacrosse team, dressed up like the Little Rascals for Halloween. And wouldn't you know it, the one who dressed up as Buckwheat decided to...
Brian Urlacher Congratulates The Texans On Picking Off Jay Cutler: Sunday Night Football, In One GIF
Houston 13, Chicago 6: It was wet and miserable tonight at Soldier Field, and the score reflected it. The game wasn't altogether boring—the Bears had a chance to tie or win on their last possession—but they did not. Six turnovers later (four the Bears, two for the Texans) and what this game will be...