x Page 785 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Reports: Boston Red Sox And Los Angeles Dodgers Agree To Crazy Trade
Adrian Gonzalez, Carl Crawford and Josh Beckett appear to be on the move. While the teams have yet to officially announce the trade, barring any medical snafus or no-trade clause invocations, this crazy deal appears to be a crazy done deal. ...
Summer Camp Blowjob Follies!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase three heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....
![That Crazy Red Sox/Dodgers Trade Will Never Happen, But Could You Imagine? [UPDATES]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/17wzi2p4tznkxjpg.jpg)
That Crazy Red Sox/Dodgers Trade Will Never Happen, But Could You Imagine? [UPDATES]
Carl Crawford cleared waivers a couple weeks ago. Josh Beckett is on the wire too. Today, it was reported that Adrian Gonzalez was claimed by the Dodgers. The Red Sox want to get younger and cheaper. The Dodgers have the means, motive and opportunity to go for a title now. These are all the ingredie...
Some Unfortunate Couple Got An Islanders-Themed Box To Hold Their Wedding Gifts
What you see above is the gift box for all of the envelopes Sarah and Mike received at their recent wedding reception in Island Park, N.Y. The photo was sent to us by commenter Bring Back Anthony Mason, who wrote:...
What The Hell Happened To Lance Armstrong? All Your Doping Scandal Questions, Answered
Some people pay attention to cycling. Others pay attention to cycling only when the most successful American cyclist of all time is banned from the sport and stripped of his seven Tour de France titles. If you're in that second group, Lance Armstrong's ban has likely left you with some questions. He...
Red Sox Skip Johnny Pesky's Funeral, Probably To Get Chicken And Beer Or Something
In case you're keeping score at home, a non-comprehensive list of reasons why the Red Sox are six games under 500: The Red Sox used to drink too much in the clubhouse. The Red Sox aren't allowed to loosen up in the clubhouse. The Red Sox got too fat. Ownership is too concerned with Liverpool. Josh B...
32 Paragraphs About 32 NFL Teams From The <em>Football Outsiders Almanac 2012</em>
The following is excerpted from the team chapters of the always-excellent Football Outsiders almanac. Buy the PDF for $12.50 or order the printed book from Amazon....
Minnesota State Head Football Coach Todd Hoffner Reportedly Booked For "Using Minors In A Sexual Performance"
The possible charges for Minnesota State head football coach Todd Hoffner continue to grow as the Mankato Free Press is now reporting he's been booked on requested charges of using minors in a sexual performance....
Bartolo Colon-O-Meter: Who Will Tell The Children?
Last season, we learned that a fat guy who throws a baseball was much more than a fat guy who throws a baseball—the pitching performances of Bartolo Colon were nothing less than an ongoing assay of the human condition. One bad start against the Toronto Blue Jays was a sign that we live in a world wi...
Game Over: <em>Nintendo Power</em> To Cease Publishing After 24 Years
There was some surprising news today when we learned that Nintendo Power magazine was shutting down after 24 years of publication, according to Ars Technica and one of the magazine's senior editors (albeit somewhat cryptically). It was sad for me, personally, because before Sports Illustrated and ...
Tuesday Night Fights: The Dead Milkmen's Rodney Anonymous Learns Who Kenny Chesney Is From Watching A Concert Brawl
Welcome to Tuesday Night Fights, a weekly celebration and analysis of street-fight videos found on YouTube. Tonight's fisticuffs: "Brawl at Concert 2012." Tonight's commentator: Rodney Anonymous, frontman of The Dead Milkman and semi-regular TNF review artist....
Rhino Fart Just Demolishes Morning Newscast
Hoo boy, if you weren't watching Kickin' It With Kenny on today's Fox 8 Cleveland news, you missed out. Never fear: here's the moment when mama rhino Kibibbi let fly during her morning hosedown. That's 1.3 tons of rhino rumbling your speakers and sending reporter Kenny Crumpton into a giggle fit f...
Georgia May Have To Self-Report NCAA Violation After Dumbass Fan Calls Recruit
Steven Nelson is a cornerback for the College of the Sequoias, and as a three-star recruit on Rivals.com is one of the more anticipated juco transfers coming out after this season. He committed to Georgia back in February, but is keeping his options open and touring other interested schools. He repo...
British Texas Rangers Fan Interviewed During Last Night's Broadcast Thinks The Team Is "Lovely Jubblies"
Jim Knox's interviews with fans during Texas Rangers telecasts have become a bit of legend around here, and he continued his streak of finding interesting individuals last night when he came across a boisterous Brit with a love for the Rangers. (We encourage you to Google 'Lovely Jubblies,' thoug...
What Is The World's Greatest Pasta Shape? Or, Why Linguine Is Bullshit
Time for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Got something on your mind? Email the Funbag. Today, we're covering roaches, revolutions, jizz nutritional values, and more. ...
Red Sox Player Mutiny Now Kelly Shoppach's Fault Somehow
The New York Daily News features a screamer of a headline this morning: "Adrian Gonzalez off the hook as NY Mets' Kelly Shoppach takes fall for Boston's text mutiny." Oh, weird! I guess, contrary to the report from Yahoo, it was not "Adrian Gonzalez, texting on behalf of himself and some teammates,"...
Man Dives Into Kauffman Stadium Fountain For Adam Dunn's 400th Home Run, Is Arrested
Adam Dunn blasted his 400th home run last night into the fountains at Kauffman Stadium. One industrious and, judging by his jersey, long time Chicago White Sox fan decided to retrieve the ball from its watery grave....
Joe Paterno: "I'm Not Omniscient!"
Joe Posnanski's book on Joe Paterno will be released next week (and includes the quote from Bill James you see above), but various members of the media have obtained a copy. Among other things, the book reveals that Joe Paterno had to be coerced into reading the grand jury presentment by his family ...
A Freaking Baby Has Witnessed Two Perfect Games This Season
The kid's name is Bode Dockal and he was at Safeco Field for both Phil Humber's perfect game for the White Sox back in April and more recently, Felix Hernandez's gem earlier this week against the Rays....
Is This The Most Terrifying Weather Alert In The History Of Television?
It's midnight. You're snug in your Nashville bed, or maybe on the sofa with your lips wrapped around a crack pipe, I don't know, but whatever excuse you have for watching Jimmy Fallon, that's it....