x Page 799 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Uncle Gene At The Brigade Open: An Unlikely Host For Fight Night At West Point
Republished from The Classical....
Pissed-Off College Student Leaves Greatest Voicemail Ever
If you've ever attended school at any level, you know how infuriating it can be when some dipshit administrator screws up your paperwork and sticks you in the wrong class. Or even worse, when they actively try to prevent you from switching out of that class into the class you wanted. Well, one br...
How To Fold A Fajita Without Looking Like Some Sort Of Dumbass
Oh, fajitas. Oh, how I adore you. The way you arrive at my table still sizzling on a metal platter. The way the waiter warns me to NEVER touch that metal platter, or else all my nerve endings will detonate. The way the steam comes up from the tortillas once I've lifted the lid on the tortilla-holder...
Hawk Harrelson Still Has A Headache After His On-Air Meltdown Yesterday
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Harrelson is still steamed....
Vanderbilt Football Coach Will Not Hire Assistants Until He's Seen What Their Wives Look Like
Ah, Vanderbilt. A refined, enlightened place. "The Harvard of the South," it's called. So it's not without reason that its football coach, James Franklin, seems like the Larry Summers of the South:...
Rex Ryan: New Jersey Devils Fan
New York Jets coach Rex Ryan and family took in last night's opening game of the Stanley Cup Finals, garbed in Devils jerseys and ready for action. Alas, the Kings took Game One 2-1 in overtime, but we're not entirely sure how much Ryan's behind the Devils anyway—he grew up a Maple Leafs fan in Tor...
BMX Rider Hits Head, "Focuses On Vacuuming"
Helmets don't work every time you dive headfirst into a large wooden structure. Professional BMX rider and 2012 X Games invitee Tom Dugan found that out the hard way when he attempted a "one-handed no-footed cancan" (a feat where the rider moves both of his feet to one side of the bike, letting go...
Ken "Hawk" Harrelson Melts Down After White Sox Pitcher Ejected For Throwing Behind A Batter
This week's Rays-White Sox series in St. Petersburg has been contentious after Chicago catcher A.J. Pierzynski's suspicious slide yesterday led to him being plunked by Rays pitcher Alex Cobb today. When Jose Quintana attempted to return the favor—or perhaps just send another message—to Tampa Bay's ...
A Dead Milkman Breaks Down "The <em>Citizen Kane</em> Of White Trash Punch-Out Videos" For Us
Welcome to Tuesday Night Fights, a weekly celebration and analysis of street-fight videos found on YouTube. Tonight's fisticuffs: "Tech N9ne Concert Fight Billings MT 5-21-12," which "LatinaJuggalette" was kind enough to share. Tonight's commentator: Rodney Anonymous, satiricapunk-rockin' front ma...
Craig James's Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Senate Campaign Has Come To An End
All the polls have now closed in the state of Texas, and the US Senate campaign of former ESPN analyst Craig James has reached its inevitable nadir, struggling to even gain 4 percent of the statewide party vote as ballots continue to be counted. ...
Roy Oswalt Signs With Rangers
According to a Dallas Morning News report from earlier this afternoon, we can finally exhale—Roy Oswalt has signed with the Texas Rangers....
Here's Why This Guy Looks Better Than You
If you find yourself heading down to the Lower East Side to soak up some that ghost-of-CBGBs/Arlene's Grocery/Motor City, um, essence, and happen to also be in the market for a gorgeous custom-fitted suit, stop by SEW on Mott Street. Inside, you'll find proprietor Scott Evan Wasserberger, the besp...
"They Had To Apply Electric Shock To Bring Him Back": The Decline Of Boxer David Reid, Hero Of The 1996 Olympics
Republished from The Ring....
The 10 Most Insane States In America
I was hanging out at home yesterday when a neighbor came knocking on our door and told me that she had driven home to find that her door was wide open and that she was scared someone had broken into her house. She didn't want to check out the house by herself, so she wanted to know if I could scout ...
Paul Konerko Is An MVP Candidate, And Possibly Psychic
Just a few scant months ago, the White Sox were seriously contemplating naming Paul Konerko a player-manager. It would have been an honor, but an honor usually bestowed on well-respected baseball minds in the twilight of their careers. (Never mind that Konerko's 2011 "twilight" was yet another .300,...
More Shitty Boxing News: Motorcycle Crash Leaves Former Champ Paul Williams Paralyzed
First, there was the news that Johnny Tapia had died. Now this. Paul "The Punisher" Williams, who twice won welterweight titles and was once an interim junior middleweight champ, was paralyzed from the waist down after crashing his motorcycle en route to his brother's wedding Sunday morning in Atlan...
Today Is The Day Craig James Gets Demolished In The Election
This is it: the polls are officially open for voting in the Republican primary for Texas's vacant Senate seat. Today is the day Craig James finds out if his gay-baiting self-funding, low-polling, hooker-murder-denying Senate campaign will bear fruit, or be all for naught. Judging from the latest num...
Johnny Tapia Died, Died, Died, Died, Then Died, And Lived Hard In Between
New Mexico police are saying that boxer Johnny Tapia was found dead at his house on Sunday. They do not suspect foul play. Apparently he was the victim of having been Johnny Tapia for 45 years. ...
The Odds Ever Favor The Truly Regional NCAA Baseball Bracket
The NCAA has just announced its baseball championship bracket, to approximately one billionth of the fanfare that its annual orgy of uneducated guesswork, the basketball championships, engenders. But take a moment to appreciate the symmetry, and the humble nature of the appropriately named Regionals...
The Comeback Pig: Marv Albert, And How To Survive Any Sex Scandal
Today, we are reminded, marks the 15th anniversary of Marv Albert telling a Virginia Circuit Court that he would be pleading innocent to sexually assaulting—biting—his side piece. We thought this, originally published June 27, 2011, would be a nice jaunt down memory lane....