x Page 803 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Josh Hamilton Is Hitting Baseballs Like Crazy
Josh Hamilton currently has 17 home runs. That is five better than his nearest competition, Matt Kemp and Carlos Beltran. Obviously Hamilton's had a pretty good week. After hitting four home runs in one game, Hamilton had two more last night against the Angels—adding another layer to the fun game T...
Chris "Birdman" Andersen Is The Victim Of An Extortion Attempt, His Lawyer Says
Yesterday's shocking news of a child porn investigation at the house of Nuggets center Chris "Birdman" Andersen has led to today's announcement by Andersen's lawyer that he may be an extortion victim....
Cockblocked By A Washing Machine!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase four heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....
Rookie Rangers Reliever Robbie Ross Reveals Wrong Regalia, Receives Ridicule
Texas rookie hurler Robbie Ross found himself in a bit of trouble last night during the second game of the Rangers' doubleheader against Baltimore after removing his sweatshirt when being called to warm up in the bullpen and realizing he was wearing the wrong jersey....
Christian School Forfeits State Championship Game Rather Than Compete Against Player Who Is Black*
An Arizona high school baseball team forfeited the state championship game Wednesday rather than face an opponent whose squad featured a black* player....
Everything You Need To Know About Sarah Phillips, Former ESPN Columnist And Social-Media Scammer
Last week, we published a long story about Sarah Phillips, the ESPN columnist who, among other things, used her connections to the Worldwide Leader to hijack a teenager's Facebook venture. The story developed quickly from there, getting progressively more complicated as more tipsters came forward wi...
Thunder PA Announcer Arrested And Fired After He Allegedly Forced Kids To Watch Him Masturbate
Jim Miller, the public address announcer for Oklahoma City Thunder games, was arrested yesterday and charged with three felony counts of lewd or indecent acts with a child under 16. The Thunder announced shortly thereafter that they had fired Miller....
What Josh Beckett Does On His Off Days Stays Between Josh Beckett And His Off Days
After apparently solving things a few weeks ago, the Red Sox have (thankfully) returned to aggressive catastrophe status. They're 2-8 in their last 10 games, including an 8-3 thrashing yesterday at the hands of the Cleveland Indians. Josh Beckett gave up seven runs in a little more than two innings,...
This Gay Marriage Headline Could Have Used Another Proofreader
From a post on the Seattle Times online about the political stance of Rep. Norm Dicks. We have no words....
Oil Can Boyd Calls Wade Boggs A Racist; Boggs Responds By Calling Boyd "A Delusional Drug Addict"
Dennis "Oil Can" Boyd and Wade Boggs were Red Sox teammates for eight seasons in the 1980s. It's safe to say they're not friends. Last Friday, Boyd appeared on "The Dennis & Callahan Morning Show" on WEEI in Boston to discuss topics ranging from growing up poor in the South to his drug use to his re...
Summer Is The Goddamn Worst
May has started, which means that we're quickly running out of May and I don't want May to end because that means summer is here and OH FUCK GOD PLEASE NOT AGAIN....
Another Mike Leach Book Inscription: "Anybody But Craig James For Senator"
Last night, we showed you the personalized message Washington State football coach Mike Leach left when autographing a copy of his book for a fan, which referenced the possibility that Craig James killed five hookers while at SMU....
Fenway Park Public Address Announcer Killed In Car Accident
Sad news out of Boston this afternoon as police have announced that Carl Beane, the public address announcer at Fenway Park since 2003, was killed earlier today in a one-car crash in Sturbridge. He was 59 years old....
A Special Graduation Message To The Class Of 2012
I had a long drive home the night that I found out my son was in grave danger of being born too early. Not long in the sense of distance, but long in an existential way, the way that a minute spent waiting in a dentist's office is far longer than a minute spent hooking up with someone for the first ...
Everybody Loved Grantland
Excerpted from Over Time: My Life as a Sportswriter....
Down And Out In Baseball's Indie Leagues; Or, What Made Tommy John Want To Rake The Infield?
A dispatch from our correspondent with the Bridgeport Bluefish, an unaffiliated team in the Atlantic League....
Despite Hitting Four Home Runs, Josh Hamilton Could Not Secure A Majority Of The Player Of The Game Vote
In you were in the mood to have your head explode this morning, here you go. (Obviously this is the poll taken on the Baltimore MASN broadcast, which may be a measure of the grasp Orioles fans have on reality, or at least Orioles fans who possess cell phones.)...
What This Street Fight Between A Cross-Dressing Hooker And A John Can Teach You About Life
Welcome to Tuesday Night Fights, a weekly celebration and analysis of street-fight videos found on YouTube. Tonight's fisticuffs: "ANGRY TRANNY BEATS UP GUY WHO WON'T PAY - MELBOURNE" (with an accompanying news report). Tonight's commentator: Butch Cordora, a fabulous artist/photographer/televisio...
The Fruitless Search For Decent Facial Recognition Porn Software
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NESN Invites Fans To Submit Questions For Bobby Valentine, Gets Flood Of Boy Band-Related Inquiries Instead
Like many official MLB team broadcasters, NESN features a program centered around the squad's manager. (NESN's version is helpfully titled The Bobby Valentine Show.)...