x Page 831 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Buffalo Schoolteachers Charged With Humping In The Bathroom At This Weekend's Bills Game
Making sex in the bathroom is never the brightest nor most hygienic idea, to say nothing of the typical stall conditions at an NFL stadium used by 70,000 people. That goes for fucking on the floor of the pristine new Cowboys Stadium, and it definitely goes for whatever two grade school teachers were...
The Case Against Bernie Fine Is Falling Apart
Here's the latest on the child sex abuse allegations against former Syracuse assistant basketball coach Bernie Fine. It's starting to look like Fine might indeed escape criminal prosecution for two reasons:...
Confessions Of A Terrible Father; Or, How To Fight That Urge To Put Your Kid Through A Wall
I got an email this week from a reader named Chris that made me think about the times when parenthood can leave you a shriveled-up, emotional wreck of a human being. This was his email....
This Video Ensures That Nobody On The Face Of The Earth Will Ever Mess With Tiffany Again (NSFW)
The description of this here "Pimp gets bitchslapped by his Slut whore" video reads as follows:...
The Two-Fisted, One-Eyed Misadventures Of Sportswriting's Last Badass
George Kimball hung upside down some 70 feet in the cold Manhattan air, still in need of a cigarette. Well, the doctors had said smoking would kill him, hadn't they? The previous autumn, they had found an inoperable cancerous tumor the size of a golf ball in his throat and given him six months to li...
Cotto-Margarito II: Mistakes, Revenge Porn, And The Looming Dread Of Watching Miguel Cotto Fight
We all make mistakes....
Idiot Columnist Writes Idiot Column About Ovechkin And Steroids
John Steigerwald—he of the "Bryan Stow deserved to get beaten into a coma" column—is at it again. This time the Washington (Pa.) Observer-Reporter observer/reporter sets his poorly-focused sights on Alexander Ovechkin. Since his numbers have taken a dip, and also a steroid doctor who Ovechkin has ne...
Kansas City's Tyler Palko And Dexter McCluster Connect On Hail Mary
The fifty yard heave pinballed around for a few seconds before finally landing in the hands of McCluster. The play ended a streak of 31 possessions without an offensive touchdown....
There's A Great Salad Bar At Maple Leaf Gardens: The Second And Third Lives Of The Original Six Arenas
While we're on the topic of the sad fates of arenas without teams, it's worth noting that this week saw the beginning of a rebirth for the old Maple Leaf Gardens. The art deco masterpiece, which the Leafs abandoned for new downtown digs in 1999, is a National Historic Site. But lying largely dormant...
Always Remember: Hot Tubs Are Disgusting Places
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase three heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....
Bobby Valentine May Or May Not Have Invented The Wrap Sandwich
The Red Sox announced Bobby Valentine as their new manager yesterday, and that's a hell of a thing. Good for them. But Valentine brings with him many unanswered questions. Can he prevent another collapse? Can he get up to speed on innovations in MLB since 2002? And did he really invent the wrap?...
HOLY SHIT MONSTER CARROT-EATING CRICKET
Say hello to the giant weta, now the world’s largest known insect. I want to die now. I don’t want to live on a planet where encountering something like this is possible. HOW IN THE FUCK IS MR. HAND MODEL SO GODDAMN CALM?! HE IS HOLDING A MONSTER. GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! (Via Gizmodo; Photo: Mark Mof...
Donovan McNabb's Quarterback Services Are Available Again, You Guys
Per Schefter, the Vikings are planning to release him. Where to next? The Texans? The Bears? The end? [via]...
Soon-To-Be-Fired Newspaper Editor Puts A Big Old "Fuck" On Page 3C
You may want to avert your delicate sensibilities from today's Greenville (S.C.) News, because they accidentally printed a naughty not-for-old-people-who-still-subscribe-to-newspapers word in today's story about the SEC Title Game. It's easy to miss, subtly placed in the flow of the text, but look v...
LeBron James Mimics Stevie Johnson Mimicking Plaxico Burress In Flag Football TD Celebration
LeBron James and Kevin Durant played flag football at the University of Akron last night for "LeBron's Flag Football Classic." There are plenty of highlights available on the YouTubes, if you're interested, but since we no longer have to pretend to entertain the question of LeBron playing football...
That Craigslist Ad Offering People $75 To Attend The Big Ten Championship Game Was A Hoax
Spencer Hall, who had gotten hold of a response from the hoaxster and initially thought it could be legit, ended up getting to the bottom of it: "The funniest thing was all the damn Spartan and Badger fans who crawled out of the woodwork. Can't be bothered to drive 3 / 6 hours for their team and bu...
Which Syracuse Basketball Players Had Sex With Laurie Fine?
One of the stranger aspects of that taped phone conversation between former ball boy Bobby Davis and accused molester Bernie Fine's wife, Laurie, is the apparent revelation that Davis had a sexual relationship with Laurie. He's not the only one—and there might be a sex tape to prove it, a media sour...
Checking In With Albert Pujols's Agent, Who Threatened To Sue Us Before He Knew What We Were Going To Write
A week ago we published some not very nice things about superagent Dan Lozano, but not before we were threatened with a lawsuit. Hours before publishing, Lozano's attorney issued itemized denials of a handful of facts we included in our story—and denials of many more that we did not. ...
The Rays' New Rape Problem
The Tampa Bay Rays just traded for Mariners reliever Josh Lueke, a righty who's undervalued because he dodged a rape charge a few years back. Our resident Rays fan, Mobutu Sese Seko, is not pleased. TB brass is advised to read his debunking of the various pro-Lueke factions sooner rather than later....