x Page 865 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Your Gold Cup Semifinals Open Thread
It's Miércoles Gigante for los aficionados al fútbol in Houston tonight. First up, at 7 p.m., are the Americans who will try to avenge their June 11 upset loss to Panama. (They will.) Then, around 10 p.m., Mexico and Honduras will do battle for the right to advance to Saturday's Gold Cup finals ma...

Red Sox Fan Catches Foul Ball With $7 Light Beer, Still Finishes Beer
If you paid that much for a Bud Light, you'd drink it, too....

Litigious, Displaced, Already Reiumbursed Super Bowl Fans Are Asking For Even More Money
Hey, remember those cranky folks who couldn't get their Super Bowl seats? Remember how they're suing, and how $5 million wouldn't be enough in remuneration?...

How Young Alex Ovechkin Ended The Cold War
Oh man. Do yourself a favor and look at every single photo on the NHL Players As Kids Tumblr, which we were criminally unaware of until it blew up on the internet today. There's this. And this. And fatty. And Biz Nasty. This will make your head asplode. This will make Maple Leafs fans' heads asplode...

Miss USA Candidates Attempt To Answer A Question About Evolution, Fail At It
I'll warn you that this video, compiled and edited by the Miami New Times, is uniquely horrific. In it, Miss USA Pageant 2011 contestants attempt to answer — or simply to formulate words in a coherent sentence about the idea proposed — whether or not evolution should be taught in schools. The New ...

Chicken-Hatted Lady Confounds Orsillo And Rem Dawg
In the middle of a ten-run inning, Red Sox broadcasters Don Orsillo and Jerry Remy got distracted by a fan wearing a chicken hat, and completely lost the plot....

136 Bud Lights For Only $680! An Unscientific Analysis Of The Boston Bruins' Epic Bar Tab From Foxwoods
The photo of this receipt is hazy (full version here), and that's how it should be. Mere hours after riding through the streets of Boston in Duck Boats, the Bruins took the Stanley Cup to the MGM Grand at Foxwoods and set to drinking. First came the bottle of Bacardi and 18 sugar free Red Bulls. "Su...

Science! Shows That Red Sox Fans Are The Most Obsessed
According to metrics like attendance, revenue and money spent, Boston fans take the title as the most devoted in baseball. Maybe that's true, but Shaughnessy needs to be pelted with feces anyway. [Bundle]...

These Two Guys Would've Gotten Away With Busting Into Coors Field If It Wasn't For A Pesky Security Guard
Your morning roundup for June 19, the day some sexy finally came out of the Vancouver riots (it starts at 0:45 of this video), and the day we all wish a Happy Father's Day to the appropriate person in our lives....

RIP Clarence Clemons
"Clarence Clemons, the saxophonist in Bruce Springsteen's E Street Band, whose jovial onstage manner, soul-rooted style and brotherly relationship with Mr. Springsteen made him one of rock's most beloved sidemen, died Saturday at a hospital in Palm Beach, Fla. He was 69." [New York Times]...

Watch The Marlins Catcher Successfully Throw The Ball At Shane Victorino's Head
Your morning roundup for June 18, the day "propaganda vans touted the importance of stability" in the Jeans Capital of China. (Video H/T, Jimmy Greek)...

Floyd Mayweather Jr. Is So Scared Of Manny Pacquiao That He Won't Even Fight Him In Court
Floyd Mayweather Jr. may be the best defensive boxer since Pernell Whitaker, but he has a shit-eating grin, a toy punch, and, at least when it comes to Manny Pacquiao, a yellow streak the width of Route 15. Mayweather has been ducking Pacquiao for years, claiming all the while that the Filipino was ...

Stories That Don't Suck: SportsFeat's Guide To Wimbledon
A quick primer on SportsFeat: Every day, we post great sports writing from across the web, both new stuff and classics. A companion to Longform.org, the site is designed to be used with services like Instapaper and Read It Later, so you can read the stories later on your phone, iPad or Kindle. You c...

What’s It Like To Be Aggressively Licked?
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase five heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

Meet Vancouver's Golden Riot Couple
"An avid traveller and aspiring stand-up comedian, the 29-year-old Mr. Jones has been in Canada on a 12-month work visa since last fall and has worked in the hospitality industry in Vancouver. He and Ms. Thomas are going on a trip to California soon and plan to move to Australia later this summer." ...

Saggy Pants Lead To College Football Player's Arrest In City Where Basically Everything Is Legal
Deshon Marman, a 20-year-old on the University of New Mexico football team, was arrested at San Francisco Airport yesterday after he refused to pull up his pants on an airplane:...

The Boob-Showcasing Ukulele Girl Said She'd Return With An Encore If She Got 50K Hits, So Return She Has
When Sarah K. first solicited your assistance back in April, it was in an effort to win $10,000 from some freakish marketing contest in New Zealand. Something called Hitachi, or something....

Big Yankees Fan, Caught In An Inception Haze, Took Batting Practice In The Bronx
Say what you will about Michael LaPayower, but you can't say he's not committed the cause. Whatever that cause may be....

NFL Is Surprisingly Uncool With Its Players Appearing In Uniform Advertising "Pornstar Exxxtravaganza"
To be fair, those five players are Brandon Flowers, Eric Berry, Kareem Jackson, Jacoby Ford, and Major Wright, and we're willing to bet most potential patrons of the Pornstar Exxxtravaganza wouldn't have identified them all. They needed their uniforms....

What The Miami Heat Taught Us About Fascism (And Maybe Cat Sex, Too)
FreeDarko's Bethlehem Shoals, co-author of The Undisputed Guide to Pro Basketball History (visit the FreeDarko store, too!) and our erstwhile Heat Strokes diarist, closes the book on Miami's season....