x Page 866 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Holding Farts In And You!
Yesterday, I took my wife's clothes to the dry cleaners, an errand I ran for her without her asking me to do so. And when I do something benevolent like that, I expect full credit and reams of endless praise for being so considerate. So I came home and left the dry cleaning ticket right out in the o...
What It's Like To Fall In Front Of A Speeding Formula One Car — Twice
It's scary, mainly. This steward (marshal?) at yesterday's waterlogged Canadian Grand Prix was trying to clear debris from the track when he went down on the rain-slicked road, and had trouble regaining his feet. It's like Steamboat Bill Jr. wandered into Tom Pryce's final race....
There Is A New World's Shortest Man; Say Hi To 23.6-Inch Junrey, Everybody
This is an 18 year-old. We have to admit that we're a little baffled. He's from the Philippines, too, so you know it's only a matter of time before he fights Manny Pacquiao on national television while literally everyone in the nation watches....
Watch Man U's Gary Neville Throw A Truly Terrible First Pitch At A White Sox Game
Gary Neville, who played right back for England and Manchester United for perhaps forever, before retiring this year, was in Chicago on Thursday night to throw out the first pitch before the White Sox-A's game. Man U and the Chicago Fire will be playing a friendly shortly. He and his 400 caps are ...
Tired Of Horse Racing? Consider Cow Cycling
This comes to us from France's Critérium du Dauphiné, one of this month's warm-ups for the Tour de France. There are a lot of climbs in the course, and, well, these cows saw one that looked like fun and figured they'd join in. Could they beat the horses that ran in the Belmont? Shittier horses? Wh...
Joe Buck Is Not Announcing Phillies Game Today, But The Fans Still Hate Him
This comes via Hickey (the photographer is @roscocosmopeco), your usual weekend landlord, whose Twitter pal is rocking this shirt at today's Cubs-Phillies affair. The only problem is that Kenny Albert, not Buck, is announcing the national game for Fox....
Yet Another Example Of Why You Should Not Stand Near Auto Races
This is driver Allan McNish, from today's 24 Hours of Le Mans race. Somewhat shockingly, he—and all the bystanders—were okay after the crash. The Audi R18, however, was not....
Great Moments In Horrible Sexual Faux Pas
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase five heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....
Alex Ovechkin's Summer Diet: Hookah, Beers, And Fried Steak
There's nothing illegal or even wrong with what Ovechkin's doing here—nonetheless, one must wonder how perhaps the best athlete in the NHL stays in shape doing this....
US Soccer's Gold Cup Chances Improve After Five Mexican Players Test Positive For PEDs
Decio de María Serrano, the secretary general of Mexican soccer, announced today that five players on the Mexican national soccer team currently poised to dominate the Gold Cup tested positive for a substance called Clenbuterol, which is the same drug that Alberto Contador tested positive for at las...
Why Men Send Dong Shots To People
We've all had a good laugh about Anthony Weiner using his Twitter account to show the world that white Congressmen can have surprisingly decent-sized cocks. And we here at Deadspin have gotten a great deal of mileage out of men who, in fit of passion, decided to take pictures of their dicks and send...
Ohio Police Capture Drunken Local Werewolf
People of the greater Cleveland area, we get it. You miss LeBron and you're upset that he might win a championship. Noted. But that's no excuse to let wolfmen roam free. This young 20 year-old wolfman is likely especially spry, and he claims to have a military background. If you've ever played disco...
Please Take Ozzie Guillen's Belt And Razor Away From Him
You might as well take his BlackBerry too. Because the White Sox's eccentric manager is having some kind of existential meltdown today and figured he should share....
Watch This Drunk Guy Stumble Home
London's network of surveillance cameras finally pays off, with this stitched-together journey of one gentleman's trip home after being kicked out of a big celebrity get-together. [via Bob's Blitz]...
My Lunches With Costas: A Series Of Frank Encounters With The Journalist And Shill (UPDATE)
The following is adapted from Lipsyte's new memoir, An Accidental Sportswriter, now available on Amazon....
Of Course Former MLB 1B Ben Broussard Is Somehow Connected To The Weiner Scandal
It wouldn't be a very good political scandal without a tenuous connection to a retired platoon player, now would it?...
Colt McCoy's Wife Says Texas Boosters Are Too Generous With Their "Fishing Trips And Hunts, Here Or There"
Here's Mrs. McCoy on ESPN's The Herd, doing some NCAA detective work: "You cannot expect 19, 20 year-old kids to say no to free stuff when they're in college." She says a bunch of McCoy's Texas teammates couldn't resist free stuff from agents or boosters....
Learning To Hate Sugar Ray Leonard All Over Again
I never liked Sugar Ray Leonard. By all rights, I should have. He was a spectacular boxer, a rare combination of grace and power, one of the best of all time. He fought bigger men. He fought the class of his generation. What's more, he grew up a shy, comic book-loving kid in the suburbs of my hometo...
What Would Football Look Like If It Were Played With Baseballs?
Your letters:...
OK, For The Last Time: Plaxico Burress Was Not Wearing Sweatpants The Night He Shot Himself
The night he busted a cap in his thigh, Plaxico Burress was wearing jeans. This is a fact confirmed both by the New York County District Attorney's Office and Burress himself. He was not wearing sweatpants. There is as much proof that he wore sweatpants that night as there is that he wore a crinolin...