x Page 868 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Ozzie Guillen Just Might Have Lost It
Because when you're waxing lyrical about desecrated statutes of a team that started not only A.J. Pierzynski but Scott Podsednik and Carl Everett, you might just be off your rocker....
Being Captain Of The Saint John Sea Dogs Does Not Entitle You To Spit In Memorial Cup, But Watch This Guy Do It Anyway (UPDATE: ?)
Your morning roundup for May 30, Memorial Day, the day we learned the Groupon Voice. Video via tipster Brent, who writes (with a French BlackBerry signature appended!), "Watch beardo spit into the Memorial Cup. His teammates will be drinking out of it. Fucking gross."...
Here's A Photo Of The Seattle Mariners Streaker In The Loving Grasp Of Three Committed Security Guards
On a night when Chone Figgins lowered the price of Widmer beer at one Seattle bar to $1.97 (0-5 in the Mariners win over the Yankees), a streaker was the third of four fans to run on the field. He apparently took a shine to Derek Jeter in the eighth inning but the shortstop declined his advances. F...
German Women Adept At Milking Cows, Plowing Fields Vie For Calendar-Modeling Gig
Two hundred women applied but just 25 made the first cut. From there, the Hamburg Chamber of Trade will whittle down the list to determine who has what it takes to represent not only a nation, but a way of life, in the 2012 German Farm Girls Calendar....
It Wouldn't Be The Start Of Memorial Day Weekend Without A Gnarly Skiing Video
Red Bull and U.S. Freestyle skier Simon Dumont pretty much chopped up Squaw Valley's half-pipe. They used lasers, angles, machinery and a touch of crazy to do so....
At Least One Bounce Went Right For Kim Clijsters In Her Second-Round Exit
Kim Clijsters, seeded No. 2 in the French Open, lost to Arantxa Rus (real name) in the second round yesterday. She fell 3-6, 7-5, 6-1 to the 114th-ranked player in the world. But it wasn't all bad! Clijsters also had one of the most fantastical bounces we've ever seen in tennis. This is the kind o...
Cockblocked By The Mentally Disabled!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase four heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....
Seattle-Area Cheerleaders Up To Their Old Diapered, Hot-Dog-Slappin' Tricks
Scene: waning springtime in the Seattle metro area. Local cheerleaders, presumably led by Parker Posey, now up to no good with the school year coming to an end, their youth and beauty fading. Their tools: diapers and hot dogs....
The Miami Heat Appear To Have Messed Up the <em>Gears of War 3</em> Hype Train
LeBron James, first you upset the people of Cleveland by abandoning their basketball team. Now you've helped the Miami Heat beat the Chicago Bulls in five games, closing the series out last night with an 83-80 victory. That means there's… [Kotaku] ...
Today, The Rangers Gave Ron Washington A Shitty Cadillac For A Not Shitty Reason
"Sugar" Ron Washington, everybody's favorite AL West manager, received the keys to a Cadillac at home plate today. Only it wasn't one of those shiny new Cadillacs that one might receive for managing a team to an AL pennant. The Dallas Observer explains:...
I’ll Wear Shorts If I Goddamn Want To
Memorial Day weekend is coming to mark the start of summer, and once again I find myself confronted with assholes all over the place telling me I can't wear shorts. First there's designer Tom Ford:...
Phillies Infielder Throws 10-Pitch 19th Inning To Close Out Joey Votto And The Reds
Your morning roundup for May 26, the day after Disney realized that it probably wasn't the best of ideas to trademark American heroes for profit....
Incredible Video Of A Tornado Chasing A Storm Chaser
David Payne of KFOR in Oklahoma City has been driving towards tornadoes for the better part of two decades. But last night, one changed direction and came down right on top of him....
Bernard Hopkins Finally Explains His Loathing For Donovan McNabb And How He Can "Look Through A Man's Soul"
You might recall that before he became the oldest boxing champ in history last weekend, Bernard Hopkins had some choice words for Donovan McNabb, who never had much truck with the boxer, aside from neglecting to shake his hand when Hopkins visited the Eagles training center in 2004. Never one to let...
Rangers Ballpark Almost Got Swept Away By Tornadoes Last Night
During the wave of tornadoes that swept the Plains last night, a few touched down in the Dallas-Fort Worth area. Damage and casualties were limited, but there were some scary moments as a line of storms approached Rangers Ballpark in Arlington in the middle of the game....
Oscar De La Hoya Is Not Having A Fun Time In Rehab
Oscar looks bloated and sad, as this valiant paparazzo hounds him. What happened to the Golden Boy?...
All The Unkind Things Bill Simmons Said About His Colleagues In The ESPN Book
One of the most interesting characters to emerge from the ESPN book is the formerly inscrutable Bill Simmons, if only because we've never heard him be so (openly) self-aware before. He again whips out the big swinging dick in some more excerpts....
This Quote Is Why Chris Berman Remains A Vile Piece Of Shit
I haven't been able to peruse the new ESPN book yet, as Daulerio and the others have, but I was struck dumb by a quote from the book that was excerpted by Richard Deitsch over at SI.com. This is what Berman said in regard to the NFL forcing the network to cancel its Playmakers series:...
An In-Depth Examination Of Dad Strength
I was driving to a Metro stop yesterday when I saw a car up ahead that was about to merge into traffic from bus stop lane. And sometimes, you can tell well in advance that the driver about to merge into traffic is a fucking idiot who won't bother looking to see if another car is there. You get that ...
MLB Will Probably Ask Us To Remove That George W. Bush Foul Ball Video, So Here's A Shitty Drawing I Made
You can watch it here, for now, but I think my drawing better conveys the emotional truth of the moment. Hope you like it....