x Page 868 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Here's The "Wasted Man's Nightmare Stuck In A Funhouse" Video You Won't Regret Watching
The good folks over at Sharapova's Thigh sent along this mesmerizing footage of the most accurate depiction of a carnival-setting bad trip mine eyes have ever seen. It's the laughter. That judging laughter. Stop the kaleidoscopic mayhem....

Deadspin Classic: A Prayer For Steve Bartman
Alex Gibney's film Catching Hell—about Cubdom's favorite scapegoat, Steve Bartman—aired tonight on ESPN. Last year, we adapted the following excerpt about Bartman from Will Leitch's book Are We Winning? Fathers and Sons and the New Golden Age of Baseball. Originally published May 4, 2010....

Today In Exploding Toilets News
"Authorities say a woman was taken to a local hospital after a toilet she was using exploded at the General Services Administration Building in Washington, D.C. Fire and EMS spokesman Pete Piringer says the woman has serious, but non-life-threatening injuries. Piringer says when D.C. Fire and EMS ...

The C-Roll's Happy Ending: A Back-Row Handjob At A Marlins Game (NSFW)
The finale of the C-Roll brings us, presumably, to what we now call Sun Life Stadium, where young love once possibly blossomed in the back row of some forgotten section—the details are now lost to history. There's no game audio attached to this one, so there's no way to determine when it was shot,...

The Curse Of Dopey "Curse Of The Bambino" References, And Other Dumb Things About The Red Sox's Stretch Run
Harvey Araton of the New York Times, reporting from Baltimore, sets the new/old standard for witless hackery today:...

Screw You, And Screw Your Man Card
I don't know who invented the phrase "Turn in your man card," but whoever it is should be taken out in the street and have his balls stomped on by a fucking marching band. Every Sunday, I'm now subjected to some goddamn Miller Lite ad where the guys in it are like, "ZOMG! You're drinking a generic l...

We Remind You Once Again That Dan Shaughnessy Is Putrid
Your letters:...

Rihanna's Bikini Top Offends Northern Ireland Farmer In Quaintest Dispute Ever
Well, this is adorable, and certainly newsworthy: Rihanna, who has probably worn a bikini top for ninety percent of her adult life, recently had "a conversation" with a Northern Ireland farmer named Alan Graham to discuss her wardrobe. As a result of the conversation, Rihanna will probably not wea...

The Cowboys Didn't Lose Last Night, But It Wasn't For Lack Of Trying
If you were watching the ESPN postgame last night you probably heard a lot about how Tony Romo and the Cowboys "dug deep." This is a nice way of crediting the winners of an ugly, sloppily played game, which I've reduced here to a few of its ugliest, most sloppily played moments. ...

Ozzie Guillen Says The White Sox Should Fire Him, Because He "Had A Great Team And They Played Like Shit"
This was a part of a droll press conference, in which Ozzie also said that the Marlins should be interested in him, because, "fuck it, they should be, I'm bad."...

This Evening: Big Papi, Little Pee-Pee
Your p.m. roundup for Sept. 26, the day we learned about spontaneous human combustion. Photo via Mocksession; H/T to Brad. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Forget Boston, The Braves Are Going To Blow Their Playoff Spot
Folks fret a lot about the national sports media—we suppose this includes Deadspin—overcovering Boston sports. When it comes to John Lackey's personal calamities, we pay attention with good reason. But maybe the Red Sox's collapse, hanging over all of Lackey's baggage, is too big a deal. There's ano...

John Lackey And The Convenient Myth Of The Boston Spotlight
It may or may not be true that some players simply can't cut it in Boston. But it's an absolute truism that everyone in Boston wants it to be true. In a vacuum, the obvious question is "did John Lackey's personal issues, including his marital problems and wife's illness, contribute to a sub-par seas...

TMZ Report Brings John Lackey Close To Tears During Awkward Post-Game Interview
Lackey myseriously scolded the media in the locker room after the Red Sox won their 14-inning showdown with the Yankees: "Let me tell you the truth, [t]hirty minutes before the game I got a text message on my cell phone from one of you, somebody in the media, talking about personal stuff. I should...

The Biggest Loser In This Street Fight Is A Weave
Don't worry if you miss some of this girl-on-girl street fisticuffs on the first go-round. This "My Hood Production" presents it in full and slo-mo speeds. In a sense, the production value gives you as good a vantage point as the numerous young kids brought to observe this fight, the reason for wh...

Football-Recruit Impersonator Gets Arrested For DWI In Real Coach's Car
"A teenager claimed to be a University of New Mexico Lobo football recruit as police arrested him for DWI in head coach Mike Locksley's vehicle. Joshua Butts, 19 was pulled over in a dark blue SUV near University Stadium moments before Saturday's kickoff. The vehicle is registered to Locksley and h...

Did Kirk Herbstreit Drop An F Bomb In The LSU/WVU Booth Last Night?
Your morning roundup for Sept. 25, the day Catwoman got real. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors. (Video H/T Casey)...

This Week In Magnificent Mugshots
This is Nicholas Fiumetto. He's one of three 19-year-olds from Covina, Cal. who got caught stealing 30 packs of Tecate the other day. Well, that's an oversimplification. Here's a portion of the L.A. Times story about Fiumetto et al's attempted flight from justice:...

They Cried Tears Of Joy And Praised The Heavens When The Brewers Clinched A Division Title
Your morning roundup for Sept. 24, a day you no longer have to worry about getting hit by a falling satellite unless you already got hit, in which case wouldn't be reading this because you're not alive to fret. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

The Chicago Baseball Experience: Come For The Losing, Stay For The Unsanitary Food
"Health inspectors who visited U.S. Cellular Field and Wrigley Field during the baseball season found dozens of violations at concessions, including food being kept at the wrong temperature and poor hygienic practices by some servers." [Chicago Tribune]...