x Page 881 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Adventures In Pant Stuffing!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase five heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Got one of your own? Share it with me. Off we go....
HIV-Positive Tommy Morrison Says HIV Doesn't Exist So He Has Unprotected Sex "Every Day"
This column from a few days back in which Sam Mellinger of the Kansas City Star speaks to former "heavyweight champion" Tommy Morrison is a must-read for HIV deniers, teleporters, Randy Quaid, train-wreck enthusiasts and fans of quality reportage....
Even Sixers Broadcaster Eric Snow Can't Stay Awake For An Entire Sixers Game
Eric Snow, Comcast SportsNet's color analyst for the Sixers, seemed to drift off in the middle of the Philadelphia-Houston game last night. 7th & Pattison recorded the moment for our scrutiny: with just a few minutes remaining in the second quarter, Snow seems to bail on his play-by-play man, Marc...
The Loneliness Of The American College Transfer Student
I remember being on the floor of my room in South Quad, bawling my eyes out on the phone. I couldn't stop crying. Real, hard crying. The kind where your jaw unhinges and long, cathartic wails just come pouring right out of you. My mom was on the other end of the line, and for a very long time, she d...
James Earl Jones Does Justin Bieber
It's the karaoke precisely no one was waiting for, but now that it's here, we couldn't be more thrilled. Enjoy James Earl Jones's rendition of "Baby," in a proper context....
Padres OF Complains About Panda Express; Too Bad Team Owner Runs The Chain
On Tuesday, Cameron Maybin, the speedy outfielder traded from the Marlins to the Padres this offseason, tweeted this (@CamMaybin; it's since been scrubbed):...
Manny Pacquiao Went To Washington Today. Here Are The Pictures.
As part of the Showtime promotional tour for Manny Pacquiao's upcoming fight with Shane Mosley, the former went to visit U.S. Sen. Harry Reid of Nevada. Showtime credited "Chris Farina - Top Rank (no other credit allowed), copyright 2011" for these images. Remember that when you kneel before King M...
An Inside Look At The White House Pooper!
All my life I've wanted to know the details of where the President of the United States evacuates his bowels, and now an anonymous reader who is ON THE INSIDE has provided the crucial information....
Albert Haynesworth Accused Of Sexual Assault
Haynesworth, who was charged with assault in a road rage incident on Feb. 2, has been accused of sexually assaulting a waitress at the W Hotel last weekend. Haynesworth's agent says there is "no truth to these allegations." [WRC-4]...
Watch A Three-Year-Old's Heart Break Because His Favorite Texas Ranger May Get Traded
The young man in this video is apparently a big fan of Texas Rangers third-baseman Michael Young, who is likely about to be traded because — overly simplified — he doesn't get along very well with general manager Jon Daniels....
The Cleveland Cavaliers Are On A One-Game Winning Streak
Your morning roundup for Feb. 12, the day Mars-commute impregnating became a non-starter in the name of continuing the colony....
The Lawyer Suing The NFL Over Super Bowl Seats Thinks $5 Million Probably Isn't Enough
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: people don't want another Super Bowl trip. They want cash money....
The Time Zito Gave Mulder A Handjob, And Other Tales From The World Of Baseball Slash Fiction
Some lucky folks have especially vivid imaginations. But the rest of us need the internet to find Jaret Wright tenderly licking Melky Cabrera, or Kyle Farnsworth and Vance Wilson in bed together with knives....
A Man You Want To See Punched In The Face Instantly Gets Punched In The Face
British fighter Usman Ahmed spends two minutes dancing his way to the ring — and gets knocked out in one. It encapsulates everything good, then bad, then good again about boxing....
Cockblocked By The Hoff!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase four heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....
This Pink Nightmare Is An Actual Hockey Jersey
The ECHL's Alaska Aces will suit up Sunday night in this Valentine's Day nightie jersey. Remember kids, pink is an acceptable uniform color only if you're fighting breast cancer, or are Bret "The Hitman" Hart....
Listen To Jim Gray's Awful Super Bowl Sign-Off
Jim Gray delivered the Super Bowl sign-off for Westwood One Radio. It was already quite the piece of work, but adding the "Rudy" theme song really just brought it to another level....
The Super Bowl Almost Broke Twitter
"[In] the final moments of the game, fans sent 4,064 Tweets per second – the highest TPS for any sporting event... Twitter users shattered that record six times over the course of the game." [Twitter Blog, Wired]...
Real American Fans Shut Out Of Real American Event Do Real American Thing And Sue
Somehow two silly displaced Super Bowl ticketholders and their eager lawyers managed to devise a lawsuit just as profoundly stupid as Dan Snyder's. They're seeking more than $5 million from the NFL, the Cowboys, and Jerry Jones personally. Why?...
Beer Commercials' Real Target Audience
Tom Scocca explains that all-male, groin-punch-infested beer ads are designed not for adults but teenage boys. Apparently, boys go to great lengths to procure beer. Who knew? But Scocca, like us all, still can't comprehend the Pepsi Max spots. [Slate]...