x Page 892 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Please Help Us Track Down Lisa Ripi, The "Jets' Muscle" In The Favre Massage Incident
Lisa Ripi is a personal trainer/acupuncturist who works, or worked, for the New York Jets. According to sources, she oversaw the massage therapists at Jets camp in 2008. She knew about Favre's texts, we're told, and urged the therapists to do nothing....

Here's Your Infelicitous Turn Of Phrase Of The Day
Ashley Fox, Philadelphia Inquirer: "Michael Vick once fought and electrocuted dogs. Now, as the Eagles' starting quarterback, he is the most electric player in the National Football League." [Inquirer, image via deviantART]...

Half-Headed Man Takes World's Most Bizarre Mugshot
There's clearly something off with this man's skull. As the profile shot reveals, it's that he's missing most of it....

“My Pussy Is Like Steel!” And Other Things You Hear During Sex
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase four heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

Incongruous Athlete Mix-Tape Theater: Billy Paultz
Welcome back to Incongruous Athlete Mix-Tape Theater. Today's subject: Billy "The Whopper" Paultz, set to some folk music that sounds simultaneously Mexican and Celtic....

Heat Strokes, Game 11: The Fuck-You Game We've Been Waiting For
FreeDarko's Bethlehem Shoals, a regular contributor to NBA FanHouse and co-author of The Undisputed Guide to Pro Basketball History (visit the FreeDarko store, too!), is keeping a game-by-game diary of the Heat's season — the one you're pretending not to care about....

How To Identify Satanic Sacrifice: A Helpful, Creepy Police Training Video
This old police training video teaches up-and-coming detectives how to look for signs that their murder victim has been sacrificed to Satan. One such clue: often "a penis is placed inside the mouth of the deceased person." Good to know. [Metal Insider]...

Bay Area Denny's Serves Up Halloween Brawl
As funny as it is to see a "skeleton" get pelted with a chair, this is the third such incident we've seen at a Bay Area chain-dining establishment. It's officially a trend....

How To Make Your Own Four Loko
The FDA is going to ban caffeinated malt liquor beverages very soon. Gone will be Joose and gone will be our precious, disgusting Four Loko. Luckily, you will be prepared for the 21st century prohibition with this helpful video....

The Poop Mugshot Will Make You Happy
Nice to be back. Your letters:...

Drunk Chicagoan Scales Dinosaur After Bears Win
Well, maybe he's not drunk, just living out the fantasies we all had as five-year-olds. I'm sure the Field Museum loves being smack dab between Soldier Field and the regional rail station....

Citing Concussions, Texas Running Back Tre' Newton Announces He Is Giving Up Football
Newton, the Longhorn's sophomore running back and son of former Cowboys lineman Nate Newton, announced in a team press conference today that he has played his last snap of competitive football. He suffered multiple concussions throughout high school and college....

World's Worst Muay Thai Ref Sees No Problems With Garbage Can Lids
A pretty exciting Muay Thai match becomes a whole different animal after the introduction of some garbage can lids. Then it becomes a regular match again, all the while the referee does nothing. Niche sports are fantastic sometimes. [The Spoiler]...

Heat Strokes, Game 10: Miami Teaches Its Pitiful Fans How To Cheer
FreeDarko's Bethlehem Shoals, a regular contributor to NBA FanHouse and co-author of The Undisputed Guide to Pro Basketball History (visit the FreeDarko store, too!), is keeping a game-by-game diary of the Heat's season — the one you're pretending not to care about....

Jesus Walks Like A Cowboy: Manny Pacquiao Does Dallas
ARLINGTON, Texas —When Jesus returns, he will surely return to the 50-yard line of Cowboys Stadium, descending bodily on the fog-machine-assisted sun rays streaming through the windows just above the mighty Ford logo, but below the American flag....

Manny Pacquiao, Cam Newton Or A Bull In Edmonton: Who Was The Biggest Winner?
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Your "Should've Been You, Floyd" Pacquiao/Margarito Open Thread
So, Antonio Margarito's camp apologized for mocking Manny Pacquiao trainer Freddie Roach, who has Parkinson's disease and thinks Manny wins by KO....

College Volleyball Team Uses Softball Players To Fill Roster
Remember that whole Quinnipiac women's volleyball/cheerleading Title IX thing? Fine, refresh your memory here. And here. So, we agree volleyball was about to get nixed but didn't because cheerleading isn't a sport for gender-equity purposes ... or something?...

The One Where Kenny Mayne Jokes About Brett Favre's Penchant For Public Nudity
T'was a simpler time when ESPN's Kenny Mayne pitched a witty skit into which he led, "Legendary is faint praise for Brett Favre when he quarterbacks in the bitter cold of Green Bay. It's then that No. 4 elevates to immortal....

Heat Strokes, Game 9: Rethinking The Big Three
FreeDarko's Bethlehem Shoals, a regular contributor to NBA FanHouse and co-author of The Undisputed Guide to Pro Basketball History (visit the FreeDarko store, too!), is keeping a game-by-game diary of the Heat's season — the one you're pretending not to care about....