x Page 899 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Ozzie Guillen, GM, "Almost Come To Blows"
The White Sox front office has been upgraded to DEFCON 2, after Guillen and Ken Williams nearly threw down during the MLB draft. The catalyst? The Sox waiting until the 22nd round to take Guillen's son....

World Cup Open Thread: Mexico-South Africa
South Africa kicks off its 2010 World Cup hosting duties against Mexico. Use this post for an open thread or head over to Guanabee for its liveblog....

Military's "Super Underwear" Will Save Your Butt
Scientists have developed some sort of electronic underoos that will be able to identify and heal injuries while you're wearing them. The genius behind this breakthrough? You guessed it: Nano-engineering professor Joseph Wang. [Reuters]...

How One Energy Company Will Prevent Catastrophic Oil Spills: Swivel-Chair Safety
What you are about to read sums up everything that's boneheaded about corporate America — and it all begins with a swivel chair. Read, weep, and learn....

Your Marco Scutaro Summer Jam Is Here
"Scuscuscutaro" has dropped and, as far as Phil Collins song parodies about journeymen shortstops go, it's excellent — streets ahead of that Pavement album about Jeff Hornacek. H/T BullfightsOnAcid....

College Wrestler Condom Bombs Officer With Puke-Filled Rubbers
The North Central College freshman lured out campus security with a fake call for a female needing an escort, and ambushed the officer with two condoms filled with vomit. I think I saw something similar in a Japanese porno once. [Daily Herald]...

Angry, Fan-Punching Mexican Wrestler Of The Week: This Guy
A luchadore's mask is very important. You can understand why La Parka punched this fan who tried to unmask him. After the fight, La Parka returned to his ancestral home: the cover of that one Offspring album. H/T The Masked Man....

Conference Realignment Will Tear Us All Apart
We're on the verge of the biggest conference realignment in the history of college sports, but if it happens ... will it still be college sports? Or just pro football that happens to take place near schools?...

Intern Horrors: Mike Francesa Doesn't Run The Tightest Of Ships
Welcome to Intern Horrors, the weekly feature where interns, and the titans of industry who employ them, bitch about each other's deplorable behavior. This week we have what WFAN's really like, the perils of the music biz, combing through files, and more....

The Epitome of Douche: "Bros Icing Bros"
I went to a wedding this weekend and saw at least three bros (BRAH!) get iced. This retarded game needs to stop immediately. Right fucking now....

An Alternate History Of The Miami Sorority Zoo Party Bus Of Doom
Earlier this week, we told you about the Zeta Tau Alpha sorority that was disciplined by Miami University for alleged drunken assaults on a limousine driver. Well, a friend of the Zetas have stepped up to defend their honor....

Police Investigate Possible Sexual Assault At Green Bay Packers Party (UPDATE)
Seven Green Bay Packers were found at a rented condo where two women told police they were assaulted on Saturday morning. Six of the players were cleared, but one unnamed player is still under investigation....

"It Looked Like A Butterflied Shrimp": A Cutman's Tour Of 12 Terrible Fight Wounds
We've already posted an ode to boxing's bleeders. Let us now look at the blood itself. We ask Jacob "Stitch" Duran, an elite cutman who's worked many thousands of bouts, to share a few memories of the foulest gashes he's ever plugged....

Private Stache: Cassius Clay Has Blood On His Hands
As keeper of Sports Illustrated's indispensable Vault, Andy Gray spends a lot of his time sifting through the sports photography of another time, when athletes wore short shorts and facial hair, and everyone looked vaguely uncomfortable. Here is one such photo....

Dead Wrestling Company Of The Week: Extreme Championship Wrestling
Every week, the Masked Man, Deadspin's pro wrestling correspondent, honors the sport's fallen and examines their legacies — famous and obscure alike. Today: Extreme Championship Wrestling, the notoriously bloody wrestling promotion that went bankrupt in 2001....

How Not To Leave A Message For A Woman You're Hoping To Date
Dudes: The follow-up phone call is important—but try not mention that you'll call again in one month because you're currently living with another woman you sort of care about, because you're also homeless. Save that for email. [Gawker]...

Cover-Band Drummer Is Far Too Intense For A Cover-Band Drummer
Click to view If there's one thing more embarrassing than being in a cover band that wears matching gold blazers, it's being the overly intense drummer for a cover band that wears matching gold blazers. Sharp-dressed men, indeed. H/T Brad....

Perfect Gentlemen: Rex Ryan Rides The Subway And Loves His Wife
This is a new series called "Perfect Gentlemen," wherein we feature stories from women (or men!) who've gone on dates with sports figures and had altogether positive experiences with them. In today's installment, Rex Ryan has figured it all out....

Yet Another Miami Sorority Formal Ends In Drunken, Pukey Anarchy
The Fightin' Zeta Tau Alphas of Miami University became the third sorority at the Ohio school to be placed on probation this semester after a night of messy, over-served lunacy. At the zoo, of all places. Those poor animals....

Lazily Scroll Through Pictures Of New York's Best-Looking Sandwiches
Grub Street has spoken: these are the best sandwiches in New York. But don't worry, they've got lists for a few different cities as well. Click through the galleries, then wipe all the drool off your desk. [Grub Street]...