x Page 926 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Rangers Set For Historic Season - Just Ask Them
Hope springs eternal at Spring Training. But in Rangers camp, someone appears to have spiked the Gatorade with Prozac. Because players are throwing out pie-in-the-sky predictions like no one's business....
FOX Sports Needs A Geography Lesson
Apparently, the Rangers and Twins have moved halfway across the state, the Mets and Yankees play on Long Island, and the Cubs and Phillies have relocated to Indiana and New Jersey, respectively. Are you smarter than a fifth grader? [FOXSports]...
David Geffen Knows This Song Is About Him (UPDATE)
Carly Simon has apparently revealed the subject of "You're So Vain," and it's David Freaking Geffen, who is gay. (Um, "wife of a close friend"?) Better him than Cat Stevens, I guess. (UPDATE: Or not!) [The Sun, via UkraineNotWeak]...
Calm, Sober Man Explains Why He Fought Crazy Veteran On A City Bus
Even losing the world's most famous YouTube fight won't stop anyone from making the most of their 15 minutes. (And not in the way you'd expect.) Maybe Jerry Jones should host the rematch. [YouTube]...
Alexander Ovechkin Loves, Shoves All His Fans
Hell hath no fury like a Russian hockey star who just got his butt handed to him by a group of feisty Canadians. Point a camera in his face and he'll have no trouble shoving you to the ground....
Last Time I Took Ambien, I Had A Weird Dream About Scarlett Johansson And Axl Rose Playing Ping Pong
"On Tuesday of this week...[J]ohansson was seen playing pingpong with Rose at SPiN. "They were laughing the whole time," says a spy. "They looked like they were having fun." Woah. [NYPost]...
Ozzie Guillen's Twitter Is Spectacular, Controversial
Twitter was invented for people like Ozzie, whose brains are relatively unfiltered in the first place. And while he hasn't done anything wrong yet, White Sox management are understandably nervous....
I Do Not Believe Hillary Duff Is Actually Giving Mike Comrie A Blowjob In This Photo
But it looks like she is. Comrie reportedly spent $1 million on Duff's ring. He did not go to Jared. [BarstoolSports, Jr. and Bauer Griffin]...
Locker Room Boxing May Be Leading To Canada's Hockey Downfall
A shocking exposé by the Toronto Star has revealed a dark secret of Canadian youth hockey—twisted teenage Fight Clubs organized in team locker rooms. It also revealed another secret: This happens all time and no one cares....
NYU Business School Professor Has Mastered The Art Of Email Flaming
A student at NYU's Stern School of Business sent a complaint email to a hard-headed professor about his class's lateness policy. The professor emailed back, eviscerated the student David Mamet-style, and now it's gone viral. Welcome to internet immorality....
DDate.com - The Leading Douchebag Singles Network
Now, remind me again, which aspect of this ad for a dating website was supposed to entice women? Was it the sideways pseudo-gang sign? The fact that he's at Cowboys Stadium, so clearly a fan? Or the t-shirt insinuating rape?...
Hipsters Slipping On Ice; What More Could You Want?
We've had icy sidewalks here in New York lately. Hazardous, but entertaining. Here's an excellent montage of a streetcorner in the heart of hipsterdom, Williamsburg, featuring three solid minutes of neckbeards and lumberjack hats eating pavement....
Here's John Daly In His Underwear, Because I Hate You
Might Daly have a post-golf career as an underwear model lined up? One thing's for certain: Daly had better have a post-golf career lined up....
Stories That Don't Suck: Seduced By Ebersol, Produced By Arledge, Fish, Near-Death Psychedelia
Every week, I'll excerpt a handful of stories — old and new, sports and otherwise, relevant and merely sublime — that I urge you to read for one reason or another. Send any suggestions to [email protected]....
Epic Beard Man Talks About "The Fight", And Many, Many Other Things
Here's an interview with Tom Slick himself, where he provides an expletive-laced background to the infamous bus battle, possibly confesses to numerous felonies, and speaks on several other topics that make you question whether he should be speaking on camera....
Drunk, Angry Canadian Man Would Like You To Taser And/Or Kill Him
Awesome video shot earlier this week at the Phoenix International Airport. Although Epic Beard Man would absolutely eat this chump for breakfast....
Gary Coleman Would Not Like To Apologize For His Actions
In other scandal-ridden relationship news, Gary Coleman overcompensates for his short stature by telling "The Insider" round table to promptly go fuck themselves....
At Yankee Stadium, Boxing Beats Bar Mitzvah
Boxing will make a triumphant return to Yankee Stadium, with a junior middleweight title fight pitting Yuri Foreman against Miguel Cotto. But it'll come at the expense of young Scott Ballan, who may never become a man....
You, Dim PR Person, Are Dumb And Should Be Fired From Your Job, Part II
PR people are stupid. Not all of them, just some of them. Like this person, who just sent this pitch to me...because I like pancakes? Or it's because they are dumb....
The Tiger Woods Guide To Post-Scandal Press Conferences
No one knows what Tiger Woods will say or do tomorrow, but no matter what happens it will go down in the annals of classic public apologies. Here's a look at some of the legends of the genre....