x Page 935 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
This Is Not How A Human Leg Is Supposed To Bend (Update)
Gruesome, gruesome injury for Texas A&M guard Derrick Roland tonight....
Mayweather Laughably Implies Pacquiao Is Doping
The press releases we get are usually worthless, but sometimes they are news in themselves. Like this one we just got, in which Floyd Mayweather's camp not-so-subtly accuses Pac-Man of ingesting something stronger than power pellets....
Fox Robot Makes Perfect Stocking Stuffer For People You Hate
Someone is actually selling 10" action figures of Cleatus, the audience-enraging Fox football robot. Unless it's a voodoo doll I can stuff with dynamite to put us all out of our misery, I'm not interested. [Foamheads]...
Grossman-Urlacher Love Affair Immortalized On Bar Room Wall
Visitors to Chicago's Hop Haus watering hole may be familiar with the mural honoring the Windy City's greatest sports legends. And also these goofballs....
Lowell's Bum Thumb Gives Thumbs Down To Texas Deal
Eleven days later, the deal's off. The upside of re-signing him after the 2007 season: keeping a World Series winning team together. The downside: it's Mike Lowell, and he was all but guaranteed to be physically untradeable. [Boston Herald]...
Arm Wrestling — To The Max!!!
As the runaway success of Chess boxing proved, any sport can be improved by adding ass-kicking to the mix. Imagine arm wrestling, where the rest of your body is free to wail on your opponent. America's got a new pastime....
The Game Ball Goes To The Timekeeper
The clock inexplicably stops to give the home team extra time on their last possession. The refs huddle up and decide to end the game before the visitors can have theirs. You're damn right there's going to be controversy....
Teen Guilty of "Horsing Around!" (Also Probably Seriously Mentally Ill)
Wacky sporting news for you crazy kids! "Goshen teen charged with having sex with horses."...
Rough Season For The Flyers Naturally Leads To Cuckolding Rumors
A season that many thought would be a promising turning point for the Philadelphia Flyers has devolved into a chaotic nightmare of failed playoff dreams. So obviously someone must be banging a teammate's wife, right?...
Single UT Fan ISO Total Whore
You'll find a ton of people begging for tickets to the National Championship Game. But one lonely longhorn has two seats, and just needs a piece of ass to fill them....
Texas Professors See Mack Brown Rolling, They Hating
An unofficial resolution passed by Texas' Faculty Council declares the football coach's $5 million pay package to be "unseemly and inappropriate." Unfortunately, he couldn't hear them as he was trapped under a suitcase full of $50 bills. [Austin American-Statesman]...
A-Rod Loses His Golden Muse
A stunning report from the bowels of the gossip arena on a Tiger Woods break: Alex Rodriguez and Kate Hudson have apparently broken up. No golf clubs were swung, no hydrants were run over, according to reports so far....
In Memoriam: A Great Sports Intro
Forget "Roundball Rock." Click inside and hear the greatest network sports theme song of all time....
Last Night's Winner: Mack Brown
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Texas coach Mack Brown, who is about to get seriously paid. This is what is known as "striking while the iron is hot."...
Kick 'Em In The Grill, Pete
Amazing tale of Prime Minister Pete Nice, former member of whitey hip-hop group 3rd Bass, and his involvement in the shady sports memorabilia market, which has left him holding just a box of Newports. And Puma sweats. [SI]...
2009 SHOTY Nominee: Alex Rodriguez
In March, A-Rod seemed like a sure bet to be a SHOTY nominee. Yes, here he is ... but the journey to this point was a circuitous one....
Pregnant Athlete Doesn't Want To Be Babied By School
A Texas high schooler is filing a Title IX complaint against her school district after her volleyball coach benched her in her first trimester. This sounds like a no-win situation for everyone involved....
Friendly Texas-Nebraska "Discussion" Leads To Accidental Death
Two Marines got in a "friendly scuffle" while talking about the outcome of Big 12 Championship Game. Unfortunately, one of them forgot to put down his gun and now the other one is dead. [Sun Journal]...
Texas Wins The Weekend
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like the Texas Longhorns, who won the weekend by not having to prove they were better than everyone else. Welcome to college football!...