x Page 943 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Plaxico Burress Heading To Jail
In a surprise twist to an otherwise boring legal hearing, Plaxico Burress plead guilty to attempted criminal possession of a weapon and has accepted a two-year prison term, plus two more years of "supervised release."...
Ben Roethlisberger's Lawyers Stay On The Offensive
Big Ben's legal team released a series of emails and instant messages sent by his accuser that they say "prove" he did not rape that woman, Andrea McNulty. If IM messages are now irrefutable evidence, then may I suggest this....
Punching A Crippled Child Will Not Get Your Soccer Ball Back
A 23-year-old woman in a dispute over a soccer ball with a wheelchair-bound 13-year-old boy at a children's hospital, slugged him right in the medical halo that was screwed into his skull. That's at least a yellow card, right? [DMN]...
Crappy White Sox Tickets No One Wanted Are Now Expensive Keepsakes
Maybe you didn't see Mark Buehrle twirl a perfect game live, but now, thanks to the glories of American commerce and the indifference of Sox fans, you can buy an unsold ticket from that day and pretend you did. [Ticketmaster]...
Rangers Welcome Ivan Rodriguez Back Into Their Pudgy Arms
Houston puts the Rangers' old catcher on a bus to Arlington, receive two prospects in return, and Texas fans get a daily reminder that old age will someday leave them a broken shell of their former selves. [Dallas Morning News]...
Rodney King — Yes, That One — To Fight A Cop
King, perhaps having gained experience from his unsanctioned LAPD-rules handicap match, will be joining the celebrity boxing circuit with a bout against a former police officer. This will be handled with the utmost class, I'm sure....
NHL Sues To Force Coyotes To Fly US Airways
Phoenix has been losing money hand over fist, so the NHL wants them to cut expenses. First up: get rid of that fancy shmancy chartered plane, and start flying the red-headed stepchild of domestic airlines....
The Hamiltons In Jesusland
Because we're all coastal elites here at Deadspin, we asked a Texas native to give us a sense of how the Josh Hamilton saga is unfolding in the Lone Star State. Piously, reports Jonanna Widner....
The Worst American Sports Writing: Gene Wojciechowski
Writing. About sports. Sometimes it is so terrible it can make you cry, cry like a child who has learned his heroes have feet of clay. "Feet" meaning "buttocks" and "of clay" meaning "shot full of Dianabol." Here's Gene Wojciechowski....
BoSox Cap Can't Cover Fan's Shame, Penis
Anyone know what Kevin Youkilis did after being ejected the other night? Because a Massachusetts man was arrested for taking a walk wearing sneakers, a Red Sox cap...and nothing else....
Landon Donovan Has Swine Flu
And no, he didn't get it from being showered in urine and vomit by Mexican fans. But here's your excuse for yesterday's match result, Sam's Army. [FanNation]...
An Assist For Nick Van Exel: How An NBA Scorekeeper Cooked The Books
In January 1997, the Lakers' Nick Van Exel handed out 23 assists in a 95-82 victory over Vancouver, a feat less attributable to his sharpshooting teammates than to the numbers-fudging Lakers fan working the Grizzlies' scorer's table....
A-Rod To Be Put Out To Stud?
Always-reliable gossip rag In Touch reports that Kate Hudson wants Alex Rodriguez to get her pregnant and that "she would assume all financial responsibility." And if he changes his mind, I'm sure he's got $3000 laying around somewhere. [In Touch]...
Your U.S.A. vs. Mexico Open Live Thread Thingy
Fire up, gringos! It's like the original Mexican-American War, only with less malaria. The winner gets to punch Lou Dobbs in the face; loser gets to keep Texas. Olé your brains out in comments....
Rick Pitino Is No Choir Boy
Next time a crazy-eyed blonde accuses an upstanding sports figure of some heinous acts, let's not dismiss everything out of hand. Because while Rick Pitino's not on trial, there's still the little matter of public sex and a secret abortion....
Scoring At Home: Your <em>SportsCenter</em> Catchphrase-O-Meter (UPDATE)
An occasional feature in which we explain and evaluate a SportsCenter anchor's pet phrase. Today's phrase: "Hotter than a fox in a forest fire."...
Kenny Williams' No Good, Very Bad Day
First, the White Sox GM finds a moldering, $60 million fourth outfielder on waivers. Then he gets popped in Seattle for jaywalking. Only one of these things is criminally stupid....
Reggie Miller's "Love Interest" Has A History Of Breaking Up Marriages (UPDATE)
Reggie Miller was warned off married chicks—well, one married chick—and the man responsible knows of what he speaks. Sure, his girlfriend isn't actually his wife, but when she first pursued him, he was married to someone else....
Book Excerpts That Don't Suck: "The Football Fan's Manifesto"
Today's a glorious day. Michael Tunison aka Kwanzaa Primate's utterly fantastic book has arrived and he's graciously given us an excerpt. Plus! He's here to live chat with you. Buy it then pepper him with inane questions....
Reggie Miller Goes After Another Man's Girl, Gets A Restraining Order For His Trouble (UPDATE)
A banner warning Reggie Miller off of married women was flown over southern California beaches. Seems Miller's been accused of trying to dip his Dunkaroos in someone else's frosting cup, and we've got the restraining order to prove it....