x Page 967 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Obama Gets His Desmond Howard On
As some of you surely saw yesterday, presidential candidate Barack Obama visited Mack Brown and the Texas Longhorns yesterday. We think this picture is pretty awesome. We hope that this inevitably leads to Mitt Romney, when he runs again in four years, hanging out with Keith Van Horn....
Phoenix Suns Reveal First Attempts To Clone Shaq
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who would use the power of Mighty Science to clone the pet turtle who died when he was 12, and probably Lynda Carter. When he's not fantasizing about a harem of Wonder Woman clones, he can be found manipulating DNA at Basketbawful. Enjoy! • You know, it's a...
Richie Sexson Understands The Value Of A Dollar
We couldn't let the day pass without mentioning Mariners "slugger" Richie Sexson's charming comments from yesterday. They're not as bad as Stuart Scott's "Don't boo" admonitions, but, well, they're close....
The Memphis Tigers Will Not Tolerate Spelling Errors
So here's a stark reminder that even when things are seemingly going perfectly, — as in 25-0 — it can all turn horribly wrong in an instant. As you've no doubt heard by now, Memphis saved its unbeaten season on Saturday with a 79-78 win at UAB; on a three-point play within the final 10 seconds of t...
Josh Beckett Doesn't Appear To Have Been Taking Steroids In The Offseason
By now, you've might have seen this increasingly infamous picture of Red Sox postseason pitching hero Josh Beckett, at spring training earlier this week....
So Who's Ready For Another Run At An Undefeated Season?
Which is harder: Completing an undefeated season in the NFL, or in college basketball? I NEED TO KNOW! With its 68-59 win over Houston on Wednesday night, Memphis improved to 24-0, looking to become the first Div. I team since Bobby Knight's 1976 Indiana squad to finish unbeaten. Hmm, a current team...
The Only Dude In The World Who Thinks Ovechkin Sucks
The NHL Closer is written by Greg Wyshynski, of FanHouse and The Fourth Period. He is also the author of Glow Pucks And 10-Cent Beer....
ESPN's Featured Comment Of The Day
ESPN scoured its message boards this morning to find its cleverest, boldest, most enlightening comment, and chose this one above all others ......
Media Approval Ratings: Jim Gray
True story: Way back in 1998, when we were a wee lad logging agate text at The Sporting News, one of the magazine staffers sent a company-wide email after Jim Gray's famous Pete Rose interview demanding that all writers sign a petition saying that Gray should be fired. We found this a bit extreme, a...
There's No 'I' In 'Douchebag'
Drew over at KSK asked Johnny at Metroville to write a piece about what it means to be a Patriots fan, one week later. We decided it would be a better fit here. You decide....
Introducing The Media Approval Ratings
One of our favorite features ESPN.com has run is the NFL Coach Approval Ratings. We liked watching the fluctuation, seeing a coach go from 81 percent to 20 percent with one loss. But mostly, we liked the collective wisdom of Crowd. We trust Crowd's judgment. Therefore, we've decided to start a new f...
The Patriots Petition: Greatest Hits
Time to check in on the petition for the NFL to investigate the final 1:40 of Super Bowl XLII, as seen on Petition Online.com (and mentioned here on Saturday). Petitions on this site are usually pretty tepid, bewildering affairs: Take for example petition for the betterment of UNC football (26 signa...
Get Your Shaq Jersey (Plenty Of Time, Though)
A reader sent us this mock page from the Phoenix Suns' Web site, encouraging fans to buy the jersey Shaq will be wearing for the team for the next couple of years. That sounds about right....
So What Was Up With Those Awful Super Bowl Commercials?
Gupta has recently apologized for the ads and pulled the panda one from the airwaves, but this whole thing is probably going exactly to plan....
Curt Schilling Has Surgery By Blog
Another thing we love about Curt Schilling's blog: When offseason news items come up, he just gives "no comments" to all media and then writes about it there. This led the following beautiful words on the ESPN crawl: "ESPN's Jayson Stark reports that Schilling has no comment." Hey, thanks, Jayson!...
Angry Shaq's Death Toll Currently Stands At One Shark, Maybe Shawn Bradley
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who once attended a Sports and Literature class with Brian Cardinal but still doesn't know whether Cardinal can actually read. When he's not bidding on game-used Kwame Brown NBA logos - listed as very rare!! - he can be found hiding from Shaq at Basketbawful...
In Reebok's Alternate Universe, The Patriots Are 19-0
You had to figure that Reebok filmed two versions of its Perfectville Super Bowl commercial, and indeed, here it is; as reported by Larry Brown Sports. The highlight for me is the deliveryman with the "Patriots 19-0" T-shirt … possibly the only one of those still remaining in the Northern Hemisphere...
The Final Jamboroo And The Art Of Being A Sports Fan Without Watching Sports
Big Daddy Drew's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo previews the upcoming weekend of the NFL every, well, every Thursday afternoon. Well, until today, anyway....
Light Dawns On The Patriots
We have made no secret of our enduring love of The Dugout, both in its original incarnation and its current, non-expletive form at AOL Sports. But you think these guys just know baseball? Pshaw....
OK, Last Photoshop, We Promise!
Except for the ones below, that is. There's just so many amusing ones out there, that it's hard to stop. And now, for the final word on Super Bowl XLII, we'll hand the mic over to Carl from Aqua Teen Hunger Force, who as you might imagine is quite enthused with the result. In fact, it may be his fin...