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20 Minutes In Heaven: Our Ladies Plot Their A-Rod Couch Bunny Strategy
It's Waxing Off, the only Deadspin feature with a toy surprise inside. This week's topic: What would you do if you had 20 minutes in a private club booth with Alex Rodriguez?...

Amar'e Stoudemire Needs An I ... Uh, Eye
No one saw this coming. Literally! Amar'e Stoudemire had eye surgery this morning to repair a detached retina (yikes!) and will miss at least eight weeks—and possibly the rest of the season....

Getting Blasted In The Bleachers With Harry Carey
It's the 11th Annual Toast to Harry Caray, this year featuring Ernie Banks in comical giant glasses. [Mouthpiece Sports]...

Alex Rodriguez's Story Begins To Unravel
They always say that it's not the crime that ruins you—it's the cover up. Well, if the latest reports about Alex Rodriguez are true, his "confession" may have done more harm than good....

Mike Leach, Texas Tech Finally Renew Their Vows
There were some dicey moments there when we all thought we were looking at the new head coach of Abilene Christian (or, you know, somewhere). But Mike Leach and Texas Tech have come to terms....

Meet A-Rod's Cousin's Trainer
Everyone is dying to know more about this mysterious "cousin" that Alex Rodriguez refused to identify, and it turns out the cousin is not imaginary! He's been identified...and now begins the hunt....

The Newest Swedecaublasian From The Woods Family Meets The World
That fuzzy little lump of hair sitting in the lap of Tiger Woods is none other than Charlie Axel Woods, whose introduction to public fawning comes courtesy of Golf.com....

Picking Apart The Alex Rodriguez Story
This picture has nothing to do with anything, but I find it amusing and there are no syringes in it. So is Jeter clearly on the outer edge of the nostril here?...

Unfortunate Ad Placement: Alex Rodriguez Edition
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

Mike Leach May Have Strong-Arm Negotiated Himself Right Out Of A Job
The popular Texas Tech coach didn't sign a contract extension that would pay him $12.7 million and now the university may consider moving on without him. [Dallas Morning News]...

The Real Frauds: Why Did A-Rod's Teammates Even Bother To Show Up?
SI writer Jeff Pearlman offers his thoughts about the A-Rod press conference. Specifically, why are his teammates still supporting him?...

Ah, The Glorious Days Of Ripped Fuel
Anybody that went to college in the late 90's and were half-assed gym rats either for athletic purposes or vanity reasons remembers the magical powers of Ripped Fuel....

Alex Rodriguez Is Emotional, Dumb
The media finally got their crack at Alex Rodriguez today. We didn't learn much that was new, but there is a moral to the story that comes shining through: Alex Rodriguez is not a smart guy....

Don Hooton Is There To Show How Dangerous A-Rod's "Boli" Problem Was
The awkward A-Rod press conference is giving very special attention to Don Hooton, who is the father of Taylor Hooton, a 17-year-old boy who killed himself while on steroids. Don's story. [USDA]...

Alex Rodriguez Will Step To The Podium Now
For those of you interested: CNN/SI and ESPN both broke out the fancy video equipment for this moment....

Once Again, Alex Rodriguez Didn't Mean That Thing He Said
Alex Rodriguez told Katie Couric he didn't use steroids. Then he told Peter Gammons that he did. He also told Gammons that Selena Roberts was stalking his family. Now... boy is his face red! (Ha!)...

Terry Porter Says Terry Porter Is No Longer Coaching The Suns
Porter confirms that he has been fired by Phoenix and will be replaced by Alvin Gentry, partially-vindicating Peter Vescey. [AP/Google]...

Another Case Of Discrimination Against The Large-Breasted
It's the rejected first draft of the script to Million Dollar Baby: Woman is banned from boxing due to her breast implants....

Terry Porter's Unhappy All-Star Weekend
Here today, gone tomorrow: "There are strong indications that the Suns will have a new head coach leading them at Monday's scheduled afternoon practice. Although no final decision has been made, the apparent plan is for Suns management to fire Terry Porter - who in his first season has led the Suns ...

Well, This is Actually Better...
"Unless you've been in a cave under the ocean..." Did he always have an accent?...