x Page 986 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Alex Rodriguez and Madonna Both Respectfully Decline To Comment On Their Imaginary Relationship, Thank You
First off, it should be noted that both the NY Post and NY Daily News have this rumor-debunking information in their stories about a possible A-Rod/ Madonna romance:...

A-Rod's Alleged Madonna Affair Destined For Front Page Infamy
The New York tabloids have awakened from their Alex Rodriguez/Madonna hook-up snooze and are now in full-on attack mode against the Yankees' third baseman and the singer. The tabs are running the photos of Madonna sitting in A-Rod's seats during the June 22 game, which she attended with one of he...

Dwyane Wade Becomes Unwitting Spokesman In China
Dwyane Wade's plummet from fresh-faced NBA megastar to injury-prone cellphone salesman continues on its downward spiral, as the Miami Heat guard has popped up as the new face of Chinese-based "Sueper Sex", a pre-intercourse "time delay capsule" according to Black Sports Online. (Via Sports Business ...

Rays, Red Sox Let Us All Down, Fail To Brawl
So what happened to Jonathan Papelbon's prediction of fisticuffs and other mayhem when the Red Sox returned to Tropicana Field? No brushbacks or punches or obscene gestures ... all we got was some lame identity theft. Rays manager Joe Maddon spent much of Monday trying to cancel his debiit card, whi...

A-Rod's Late Night Creep Sessions With Madonna Reach Day Two Of Gossip News Cycle
Yesterday, OK! magazine reported the wobbly speculation about the odd, possibly steamy friendship brewing between Yankees' third baseman Alex Rodriguez and divorce-bound old lady singer, Madonna. The two were apparently seen "working out together" on numerous occasions and Rodriguez is apparently no...

Celeb Rag Says A-Rod And Madonna Are Possibly, You Know, Doing It
Oh, if this is true, this would just be one of the most fantastically mind-blowing developments on the planet. One can only hope that the gossip-mongering scoundrels at OK! magazine aren't confusing Alex Rodriguez with one of Madonna's other orange-skinned boy toys. But according to Radar, the magaz...

Tropicana Field's Homeland Security Set To "Red" For Black, Latin Red Sox
The Boston Red Sox and Tampa Bay Rays are spirited combatants on the field, and after the most recent Coco Crisp/James Shields donnybrook, tensions are running extremely high going into this series. But, this time around, the Sox have much more to worry about than a Scott Kazmir fastball to the ear...

Apparently Someone Named Tyson Homosexual Is Very Fast
OutSports comes up with this bit of news this morning: Tyson Gay, who ran the fastest recorded time in history in the 100 meters on Sunday, was referred to as Tyson Homosexual in several headlines on the site OneNewsNow; which is run by the extreme right-wing American Family Association in Tupelo, M...

The World Is Clearly Not Ready For Justin Gimelstob
Jewish tennis fiend Justin Gimelstob caused a stir with his sexist, provocative, "hateful" comments about Anna Kournikova and other plump-chassis'd ladies of the WTA and has apologized. Gimelstob, who was first featured on this site a couple weeks ago after the Mighty Dan Steinberg interviewed the...

Greetings, Spinheads
Well, this first day of leadership is starting out swimmingly. Sorry about the "Cermony" stuff in the first headline. Great start!...

We Who Are About To Die Salute You
The Cubs really don't have a reasonable explanation as to why they suck so relatively badly on the road. The White Sox beat the Cubs 5-1 on Sunday to complete a three-game sweep, the North side's eighth loss in the past 12 games. And here we see Mr. Kerry Wood trying to explain it, as you probably s...

Midwestern Brawls Are So Much More Polite
Such a heartening sight, seeing Cubs and White Sox fans come together to stomp the shit out of a bothersome fan in their midst. But what could elicit such solidarity? Busted Coverage had the report and video:...

Windy City Teams On Verge Of Trading Sweeps; Kerry Wood Not Pleased
Despite getting the catchy nickname of "One of the most consistent hitters in the game" by teammate Matt Murton, Aramis Ramirez failed to take advantage of a lead-off double in the 9th by Derrek Lee. With one out and Lee on third, Bobby Jenks forced the Cubbie into grounding out weakly to short when...

About Last Night
What you missed while abusing your new monkey rights......

Say Hello To A-Rod's New Friends
A pretty outstanding tidbit that was missed in all the madness yesterday: You remember when the Brewers ended up staying at the same hotel as a Furries convention? Well, that happened again this week, in Pittsburgh, and guess what team ended up in the Pittsburgh hotel this time?...

SuperYid Youkilis Drubs The Hardly Punchless RedBirds
Slate's Robert Weintraub, like many of us, loves the old purple prose of early 1900s sportswriting, the Grantland Rices, the men who painted epic tales of warriors, grizzled combatants and lardywarks too manly to wear gloves. In an occasional series, Weintraub writes about the week's best baseball g...

Behold The Awesome Offensive Power Of American League Pitchers
Ha! Take that Hank Steinbrenner, you big dolt. Pitchers shouldn't hit? Felix Hernandez hit the first grand slam by an American League pitcher in 37 years, leading the Mariners over the Mets 5-2 on Monday night. Hernandez did get hurt; but not running the bases, as Steinbrenner imagines in his sweaty...

Welcome To The Battle Of Chicago
Now that's what I'm talking about. This is how you do a rivalry, people. North Side vs. South Side, Ozzie vs. Lou. Plenty of trash talk. Copious amounts of Ryan Dempster. Let's get it on! When Round 1 was over on Sunday the Cubs had done it; swept the White Sox in the Friendly Confines. Round 2 comi...

We Enjoyed Fenway Park Almost As Much As Brendan Ryan
We know that Bostonians take a lot of heat around these parts — or pretty much anywhere in the world of sport these days — and we suspect they can take it; multiple championships will serve as balm to just about any wound. (Other, than, you know, maybe a gunshot.) But we're gonna compliment them any...

Cubs Go For the Sweep On the North Side
If the White Sox are going to come out of Wrigley with a win in this series, they'll need a good performance from Javier Vasquez. The Cubs counter with Ryan Dempster, who cannot possibly be this good. I'm going to call it a weekend, but I expect all of you DUANers to play nicely with each other. Whe...