Choire Sicha is the only one here talking any sense: "For far too long now, sports stars haven't been able to properly benefit from the labors of their production (of dick pics). Now, thanks to Jeter, they can take the correct ownership of monetizing their intellectual property (dick pics)." [Digiday]

The Jeter slurping gets metaphysical: "Wherever he goes, whether it's second base or somewhere else, everyone is expecting him to be Derek Jeter, and he always delivers." [NYT]