In 2016, Deadspin readers racked up 149 million video views. Here were your ten favorites:

When we weren’t busy watching sports contests, we watched some things. Here are the best things we saw this year.

In 2001, when I was about 14 years old, my male friends invented a game that went like this: one of them—and it was always the same one—would sneak behind me, slap me—and it was always me—on the ass and run away as I sputtered, angry and humiliated.

For nearly 35 years, Mell Lazarus knew exactly how the end would go for Momma. In 1982, when the cartoonist began dating Sally Mitchell, who would become his second wife, he confided to her that he had already decided what the final installment of his comic strip would be, and he told her the idea.

After my first week of work here, I had dinner with my parents. My dad expressed concern that I’d used a swear word (“f***”) in my second blog. My mom, full of motherly intuition, replied “No, that’s part of his job now.”

When we weren’t busy watching sports contests, we listened to some stuff. Here are the best things we heard this year.

2016 was the year prestige television finally heard the clarion call for gender egalitarianism in on-screen nudity—which is not to say they exactly heeded our demands of tit-for-chut, but they did show an unprecedented amount of male genitalia.

An unfortunate reality of being a sports fan is watching strangers in whom you have an emotional investment for some reason get pummeled, concussed, have their knees blown out, and have their appendages bend in ways that make you scream. Remember Teddy Bridgewater? He somehow shredded his knee so badly that his…

We are all interested in the future, for that is where you and I are going to spend the rest of our lives. What does it have in store for us?

When we weren’t busy watching sports contests, we did some reading. Here are the best things we read this year.

We wrote a lot of long stories this year that you probably didn’t have time to read. Now is your chance to get caught up.

Time to take a look back at our most popular posts of 2016. We have our own thoughts about what our best posts were, but these are the ones that brought in the most readers.

There are plenty of lists out there compiling the year’s best sportswriting—try this one if you’re looking for some good holiday-weekend reading—and that’s as it should be, because there is a lot of great sportswriting out there, possibly more than ever. You won’t find any of it here, though. Instead, we celebrate the …

Deadspin’s Christmas Day tradition returns. It is time to sound the depths of the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission’s database of emergency room visits. Below are the strangest, most awkwardly shaped, and least pleasant objects that America has shoved into its various holes. God bless us, everyone.

Hello, again, you sweet, sweet angel faces. 2016 has been just the worst year ever, but here are some of the few things that made it tolerable.

Congratulations to all the wieners.

There’s never exactly a good time to be Ted Cruz. His mannerisms are stilted, his friends are nonexistent, and he has far more skin than any one human should ever possess. There are, however, less-bad times to be Ted. And 2016 was not one of those years.

When we look back at 2016, we’ll remember many things: all the mornings we woke up in the grips of a full-blown panic attack, stomach acid burning our throats, or the shattering revelation that one’s pubic hair can turn gray from stress. Besides that, though, we’re left with one, extremely important take-away: many…

Everyone should be ashamed of themselves.