yo Page 353 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Neymar Sucks At Baseball
Barcelona forward Neymar is currently spending part of what passes for an offseason (in just a few weeks he’ll be off training with the national team for the Olympics) here in New York City. Like many a soccer star visiting the states, Neymar has dabbled in the local sports culture, taking in a Mets...
Mets Fan Beats Chris Sale In Rock-Paper-Scissors, Wins Autograph
Chris Sale didn’t pitch today against the Mets, but he did have time for a little pregame rock-paper-scissors with an autograph-seeking Mets fan. My man lost, like the White Sox have in his last two starts, and he graciously signed the autograph....
Guy Who Promised To Eat His Shirt If The Warriors Won Eats His Shirt
Reddit user PARTYxDIRTYDAN was feeling pretty confident about the Oklahoma City Thunder’s chances against the Golden State Warriors. Even after the Warriors came storming back to win Game 6 on Saturday night, our man was feeling strong enough to promise that he’d eat his shirt if the Warriors went o...
Patrick Marleau Won't Be Disciplined For Hit To Bryan Rust's Head
With his first-period goal, Bryan Rust has now scored six times in this postseason—a Penguins playoff rookie record. It may be a while before his next one. Early in the third, Rust suffered what appeared to be a concussion on this hit from Patrick Marleau....
Steph Curry Remembered Who He Is, And That Was That
The Western Conference finals generated a lot of conversation about tactics and matchups. Lineups were scrutinized, the length and athleticism of the Thunder were deemed A Problem for the Warriors, and everyone wondered how Steph Curry was supposed to regain his balance amid all those long arms and ...
Here's The Punjabi Call Of The Penguins' Game-Winner
Here’s Jim Hughson calling Nick Bonino’s goal with 2:33 left; a little understated. Here’s Doc Emrick; a little more excited, but come on guys, this is a tiebreaking goal late in a Stanley Cup Final game, let’s see some enthusiasm!...
Hot Damn, Sidney Crosby Was Great Last Night
You wouldn’t know it if you only looked at the stat sheet (or, um, if you watched the Warriors game instead), but that might have been one of the finest playoff games of Sidney Crosby’s career....
Let's Appreciate The Cruel Efficiency Of Klay Thompson's Game 6 Three-Point Orgy
Presumably a couple of goatherds in the Eurasian Steppe and perhaps deep-water oil platform welders in the North Sea are still unaware, so let’s start with the obvious: Klay Thompson had himself a night Saturday. The other Golden State guard took over the elimination Game 6 for the Warriors to such ...
The Golden State Warriors Will Win The NBA Finals
Draymond Green is bad. Steph Curry is Chucky Atkins. No matter. Klay Thompson is a blank-eyed three-shooting robot from space and no one will ever stop the Warriors. I’ll die before they lose again. Burn in hell, Oklahoma City Thunder....
The Cavaliers Are Back In The Finals
Cleveland beat Toronto 113-87 tonight. James Jones will make his sixth straight Finals, a momentous achievement. Good for him. ...
Russell Westbrook Tells Us How He Really Feels About Steph Curry's Defense
After last night’s loss to the Golden State Warriors, Russell Westbrook and Kevin Durant were asked if they think Steph Curry is an underrated defender. Westbrook reacted like he’d just been asked if he likes to shop at T.J. Maxx....
The New-Look Penguins Roll Deeper Than Ever
The Penguins are back in the Finals after their 2-1 Game 7 win over Tampa, but they are not the same old Penguins you love to hate. (But you can hate ‘em anyway.)...
The Warriors Aren't Dead Yet
It was simple enough to write the Warriors off when they were down 3-1, on the brink of elimination (only nine teams have ever come back from such a deficit), but they are not dead yet. The Thunder effectively blitzed them into submission in both games in Oklahoma City, and while Russell Westbrook a...
Navigating Your Way Through Bullshit Corporate Lingo
George Orwell made a living off of incredulity. Armed with a healthy distrust of capitalism and intense misgivings about the surveillance state, Orwell’s writings often presaged a bleak outlook for mankind. (His fucking head would explode if he could see what companies—i.e. Google and Facebook—and g...
Baylor Player Jumps To Defend Art Briles, Attempts To Tweet Through It
Baylor junior linebacker Taylor Young is not taking Art Briles’s firing very well. The football player defended his former head coach and even admitted that he was blindly doing so, because college football is all about following the leader....
The NHL Threatened To Fine The Lightning If They Didn't Shut Down Their Watch Party
The Tampa Bay Lighting hosted a very well-attended viewing party on Sunday for Game 5 of their Eastern Conference Finals series with Pittsburgh. Thousands went to the public showing (around 8,000 attended an analogous event last year), and the team had planned another official party for tonight’s Ga...
The Thunder Are What's Wrong With The Warriors
So every frontrunner’s favorite twee basketball unicorns, the Golden State Warriors, the best regular-season NBA team of all time, got duffed by a combined 52 points in two blowout losses in Oklahoma City by the Thunder, previously every frontrunner’s favorite twee basketball unicorns. This was the ...
Now David Wright Is Publicly Scolding Matt Harvey
Matt Harvey, nominal ace of the New York Mets, didn’t stick around to talk to reporters after his most recent disaster of a start, and the local press reacted to the snub in predictable fashion. Now they have moved into Phase 2 of their war with Harvey by trolling the locker room for teammates willi...
The Sharks Are In The Finals, Finally
Joe Thornton and Patrick Marleau were the first two picks in the 1997 draft. They’ve played a couple thousand games in teal. They’ve both been captains, and both stripped of the “C” for perceived leadership failures and criticisms that for however good their Sharks were, they were never quite good e...
Jose Bautista Murders Beverage
The Blue Jays beat the Yankees tonight and the Blue Jays’ best slugger even had the nerve to take it out on Yankees fans, smashing a beverage (presumably beer?) showering the upper chunk of a section in suds (or maybe soda! who knows!). ...