yo Page 379 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Take Your First Good Look At Jason Pierre-Paul's Mangled Hand
Jason Pierre-Paul has finally returned to the New York Giants, a few months after blowing apart his right hand in a fireworks mishap. Now that he’s under contract, JPP doesn’t have to be shy about his injury, so he let an AP photographer snap some photos when he met with the media today. The guy’s h...
Young Gronk Smashes Piñata
At five years old, alcohol enthusiast Rob Gronkowski was quite tall for his age, and good at making contact with a piñata. He was likely more of an apple juice enthusiast back then....
Boomer Esiason Says Jets Swept Locker Room For Bugs Before Pats Game, Is Probably Full Of Shit
Former NFL quarterback Boomer Esiason stirred some shit on his daily radio show this morning when he claimed that the Jets asked the NFL to sweep the visiting locker room for bugs before their Oct. 25 away game against the Patriots. That was quite a bomb for Esiason to drop, but it was probably bull...
¡Es Insano! Timbers Advance In MLS Playoffs After Breaking Physics In PKs
Portland Timbers are moving on in the MLS playoffs after defeating Sporting Kansas City in a wild match that required eleven rounds of penalties—with the winner being scored by, and then saved by, Timbers keeper Adam Kwarasey....
Gronk Wants To Spike Everything, Including Fake Pumpkins
Human Jock Jam Rob Gronkowski went on the NFL Network set after his 113-yard, one-TD performance Thursday night, and there wasn’t a prop he didn’t try and smash. He had to be told that the pumpkins were fake—you’d think Gronk, who CLEARLY spent most Halloweens in his youth smashing pumpkins with the...
Jason Pierre-Paul's Teammates All Want To See His "Club"
Jason Pierre-Paul is back at Giants practice after signing a contract yesterday, and hopes to play at least half a season after losing parts of two fingers on his right hand in a fireworks accident on July 4. The deal he agreed to seems like a fair one, given the questions over his health and his ab...
The Royals Don't Miss
If you’re looking for one stat that neatly explains the Royals’ Game 2 victory over the Mets, it’s this one: Out of the 94 pitches Mets ace Jacob deGrom threw in his five innings, the Royals only swung and missed at three of them....
Johnny Cueto Was Tremendous Tonight
Johnny Cueto’s postseason form has oscillated between extremes. He shut down the Astros to take the Royals into the ALCS, giving up two runs in eight innings, then reversed those stats and gave up eight in two to the Blue Jays in his next start. The key difference was that Cueto’s dominant start, wh...
Coming Soon To Seattle-Area High School Football: Satanic Invocations (UPDATE)
The legal position on prayer in public school in America is, generally, settled. Across decades of cases, the Supreme Court has held that religion may not be included in school-sponsored activities, but that students may independently gather for religious purposes. But a high school football coach i...
Minnesota Head Coach Jerry Kill Announces Retirement At Emotional Press Conference
Minnesota head football coach Jerry Kill announced his retirement this morning, a decision he made due to lingering health issues. Kill, a survivor of kidney cancer, has been dealing with seizures for the last few years, and they have finally become too much for him to deal with while also coaching....
Rochester Fox Station Cuts To Local News During 14th Inning Of Game 1
The people running Fox’s broadcast of Game 1 of the World Series weren’t the only ones who had problems last night. WUHF, the local Fox affiliate in Rochester, New York, inexplicably switched over to the local news in the middle of the 14th inning....
Lorenzo Cain Yosted Himself
If the Royals had lost last night, Lorenzo Cain’s disastrous attempt at bunting with a man on second and nobody out in the eighth inning of a 4-3 game would be under a hell of a lot more scrutiny today. It was a classic, self-defeating Ned Yost moment, except for the fact that it wasn’t Ned Yost’s i...
Only One Other Royal Was Told About Edinson Volquez's Father's Death
When Edinson Volquez came out after six innings, his wife and children were waiting for him in the clubhouse. GM Dayton Moore gave them the use of the manager’s office, where they could be alone and discuss whatever they needed to. It still isn’t clear whether Volquez knew yet that his father had di...
Why Would Anyone Defend Greg Hardy?
Last night, the Dallas Cowboys lost in spectacular fashion to the New York Giants when the eventual Super Bowl winners answered a game-tying Cowboys touchdown by returning the ensuing kickoff 100 yards for what would prove to be the winning score. Shortly thereafter, Cowboys defensive end Greg Hardy...
Ben-Gals Cheerleaders Win $255,000 Settlement In Lawsuit Against The Bengals
NFL teams tend to treat their cheerleaders not so much as valued employees, but rather as rock-dumb sex objects. Hits include the ridiculous list of petty fines Raiderettes could earn for, say, “improperly polishing their boots,” the Ravens’s exacting micromanagement over cheerleaders’s weight, and ...
There Are Still Several More Innings Left To Play
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Congressman Reluctantly Sings "Meet The Mets" On House Floor To Settle A Bet
Here’s U.S. Rep. Adam Schiff of California, paying up after an NLDS bet with Rep. Steve Israel from New York. Schiff had the Dodgers, you see. His punishment is this rendition of “Meet The Mets,” and Schiff makes it sound like he’d rather have his toenails pulled out....
The Baseball Hall Of Fame Is A Grim, Cruel, Terrible Place
In 1999, I was teaching advanced dialectical history at a small northeastern liberal arts college whose name I will not mention here. The season of that year that stands out the most in my own memory is Autumn. The Autumn of 1999. I remember, that Autumn, getting home from the last class of the day,...
MLB Wants Teams To Chill Out With Their Champagne Celebrations
Celebrating a clinch with a clubhouse champagne shower (or a beer slip ‘n slide) is a baseball fixture dating back to the 1960s, according to this interesting ESPN account of the tradition’s evolution. But in recent years it’s become as managed and regulated—and sponsored—as anything else baseball h...
ESPN's YouTube Channels Are Going Dark (UPDATE)
ESPN’s YouTube channels are going private tonight, victims of a change in the way YouTube operates because of its new subscription service, YouTube Red. ...