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Colin Cowherd Loves Oregon Because Of All The Wonderful White People
On his radio show today, butt-faced shitbag Colin Cowherd dropped the dog whistle for once while yakking his way through a segment in which he seeded all of the states in order of how much he likes them. Cowherd really, really likes Oregon. Can you guess why? (It's partly because there are a lot of ...

The Timberwolves Signed A Guy Because He Was Nearby
The closest race in the NBA is at the bottom, where Minnesota and New York are neck and neck for the league's worst record—and the best shot at the No. 1 overall draft pick—with Philly and Los Angeles not far ahead. Last night's T-Wolves/Knicks tangle at MSG had the feel of a championship game—a poo...

Tim Howard Kinda Just Chills With His Hands Down, Watches Goal Go In
I know. I know. It was a great goal from Dynamo Kiev's Andriy Yarmolenko. Someone should've, could've stepped to the ball, at some point. Tim Howard probably couldn't have gotten to it anyway. I know. That's all out of the way....

Red Stripe: Rightfully Beloved In Kingston And Cambridge Alike
If you live in the Northeastern United States, you need to move, because tomorrow's the first day of spring, and it's going to snow. Believe me, I'm just as tired of whining about the weather as you are of listening to me whine about the weather, but it's been so relentlessly abominable that I can...

How to Cash Out Your Change
It's around 3 p.m., and I'm starting to run out of gas. My brain just has no juice. I'm a writer, and I work best in the mornings, so I try to be typing by 7:45 a.m., and with any luck I make it till 4 before the gears start to grind and the works gum up. But not today. Today, by like 3:15, the wo...

If You Like White People, Root For Lafayette
The Lafayette Leopards have been to the NCAA tournament three times; they have never won a game. They probably won't get their first victory tonight against Villanova—6:50 p.m. on TBS!—since a No. 16 seed has never beaten a No. 1 seed in the tournament. However, we still want to take a minute and re...

Zack Wheeler Pitched With A Torn Tendon Last Season
On Monday, the Mets learned that promising young starter Zack Wheeler has a fully torn elbow ligament, and will miss the entire season. Today it was revealed that the 24-year-old workhorse pitched through pain last year, thanks to a partially torn tendon in that same right elbow. ...

The NFL Holds Roger Goodell In Higher Regard Than President Obama
SB Nation's Eric Sollenberger has been hanging out at South by Southwest this week, and he attended a panel called "Now Athletes are Funny: Power of Comedy and Sports." One of the panelists speaking was Adam Richenbach, an executive producer at Funny Or Die Sports who, as Sollenberger tells it, shar...

We Asked 14 Retired NFL Players: Would You Do It Again?
With Chris Borland's retirement from the San Francisco 49ers at age 24, the question of whether an NFL career is worth the potential price is coming up yet again. This makes it a good time to turn to the people with the most informed opinions on the subject: former NFL players....

This Is How Being The Biggest Dude In The World Helps You Score Goals
When Adebayo Akinfenwa last dropped-kicked our door down and announced his presence, he showed off his nose for goal with a tap-in against Liverpool in the F.A. Cup. It was a perfectly fine striker's goal, but it wasn't exactly what you'd hoped to see from a guy with a 97 strength rating in FIFA. Th...

Knicks Player Accidentally Does Something Good
The Knicks experienced a rare moment of good fortune in Sunday's game against the Suns, when Alexey Shved threw up a no-look shot in an attempt to draw a foul from Archie Goodwin. Somehow, the ball went in, giving Shved the chance at a three-point play....

Joe Young Hits Buzzer-Beater To Knock Off Utah
Pac-12 Player of the Year Joe Young hit a long-range three-pointer with one second remaining to lead his Oregon Ducks to a 67-64 win over 17th-ranked Utah in the Pac-12 tournament semi-finals....

That's Not Really That Funny, Phil
Here, via Bob's Blitz, audio of Phil Jackson's hilarious joke about driving the Knicks into the ground. A veritable laugh riot:...

Antrel Rolle Signed With Chicago After Getting A Message From God/Orbitz
Longtime Giants safety Antrel Rolle signed with the Chicago Bears this week, but leaving New York was not a decision he treated lightly. While a guest on WFAN sports radio today, Rolle explained that he agonized over the decision, even going so far as to ask God for a sign telling him what to do. ...

This Knicks-Lakers Game Is A War Crime
We might be in the NBA's Belle Époque, but this 15 second sequence is the lowest moment in NBA history. These two shots are crimes against humanity. If you are watching the Knicks-Lakers game please hit yourself in the face, and then instead watch the Cavaliers and Spurs on TNT....


Point: Iman Shumpert Says <i>Empire</i> Is Plagiarizing His Life; He's Wrong
Empire is the story of Empire Records, a mega-successful record conglomerate headed by heavy-handed CEO Lucious Lyons (played by Terrence Howard). Lucious has three sons: Andre, Jamal, and Hakeem. Hakeem is a rapper who dates a babyfaced singer named Tiana. Cleveland Cavaliers guard and sometime rap...

Rangers Goalie Cam Talbot Somehow Stopped This Shot
Nicklas Backstrom, on the right, received a pass from Joel Ward across the goal. He had the puck at this moment. Look at where Rangers goalie Cam Talbot is, and all the wide-open net available. Backstrom shot; Talbot made the save....

Christian Laettner Is Still Sore About The Fab Five's Shit-Talking
One of the best parts of the Fab Five 30 for 30 documentary was seeing that Jalen Rose, Jimmy King, and Juwan Howard hated former Duke star Christian Laettner just as much as everyone else in America did. Well, Laettner's got his own 30 for 30 doc coming out soon, and he's been whining about the Fab...

High School Player Throws Behind-The-Back Alley-Oop From Half Court
Jalen Adams is one of the best high school basketball players in the country, and next year he'll be playing for UConn. In a recent game, he threw an alley-oop pass behind his back—from half court....