yo Page 406 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
CC Sabathia Gained A Bunch Of Weight, On Purpose
Yankees starter CC Sabathia (the epithet "Yankees ace" is probably long out-of-date, as he's coming off two very rough seasons) reported to camp at 305 pounds, about 30 pounds heavier than he was last spring. That's good, if only because he doesn't look like a stranger. But Sabathia believes his reg...
Justin Bartha Hits On Jill Martin In Weird Sideline Interview
Via Marcia Herold, here's an interview at the Knicks game with Jill Martin and an out-of-it Justin Bartha. (You know, the guy who didn't do anything in The Hangover.) Martin tries to talk about movies, but Bartha takes things his own way....
Report: Miserable Old Man Michael Jordan Wants A Private Golf Course
According to a report from Golf.com, Michael Jordan, who has now apparently reached the Old-Man-Potter stage of his life, is considering building his very own golf course in Florida because the country club that he frequents is no longer living up to his standards....
Guess Which Former Knick's Travel Alias Was "Ace Boogie"
A tipster passed along this list of travel aliases for Knicks players that was used during the 2012-13 season. When asked to confirm or deny its authenticity, a Knicks spokesperson wrote "I can't confirm it for you." ...
Kevin Garnett Is Going Back To Minnesota, And That's Cool
The NBA trade deadline has led to a few exciting trades, but none have been more fun than the one that will send Kevin Garnett back to the Timberwolves....
Frank Caliendo Reads A-Rod's Apology Letter In Morgan Freeman's Voice
I'm not even sure why this bit is funny to me, but I laughed the first time and now I'm laughing the second time. As long as Frank Caliendo keeps reading overwrought athlete letters in Morgan Freeman's voice, he's okay with me....
This Big A-Rod Profile Might Actually Make You Feel Bad For A-Rod
J.R. Moehringer has a huge feature about Alex Rodriguez on ESPN.com today. It's a well-reported, in-depth look at everything Rodriguez has been up to since being banned from baseball for 162 games for using PEDs. There's a lot going on in the story, and you should really read the whole thing, but pe...
Screencap Classix: See You All In A Few Years
Send stories, photos, and anything else you might have to [email protected]....
Mixtape Drake Is My Favorite Drake
There are so many different versions of Drake now: the Drake Who Loves Nicki, the Drake Who Still Holds A Candle For Rihanna, and the ever-present Drake Who Loves His Mom. Plus there's Internet-Savvy And Emoji-Tatted Drake, Sports-Fan Drake, Houston Drake, Toronto Drake, Album Drake, and Mixtape Dra...
A-Rod Apologizes To Fans With Dopey Handwritten Letter
This is wonderful. Alex Rodriguez has released a handwritten(!) letter in which he apologizes to all of his fans for, uh, whatever it is we've all decided he needs to apologize for. This idea was surely thought up by some overpaid brand consultant. "Alex, our data shows that baseball fans associate ...
Goodbye To Old-Ass Jason Giambi, Who Refused To Go Down A Villain
Jason Giambi is retiring. At age 44, the slugger announced yesterday that his gradual disappearance from the game—one that began all the way back in 2009, when Giambi remade himself into a grizzled pinch-hitter and nominal player-coach—has reached its terminus. His career probably should have ende...
The Yankees Will Sell Their Past Until There's Nothing Left Of It
The Yankees announced yesterday that they will retire the numbers of Andy Pettitte, Jorge Posada, and Bernie Williams, and that all three—along with Willie Randolph—will receive plaques in Monument Park in four different ceremonies spread across the season. No American sports team has made such an...
Islanders Fan On TV: "My Son Was Conceived Back In That Parking Lot"
Tonight's Islanders broadcast featured an interview with an original season ticket holder—that's 42 seasons—and it's quite a doozy. I don't want to spoil it for anybody, so I'll just say the interview touches on sex in the Nassau Coliseum parking lot and an interesting pregnancy decision that may ha...
Amar'e Stoudemire Wrote A Cute Goodbye Poem To New York
The Knicks and Amar'e Stoudemire have finally parted ways, bringing an end to what was supposed to be an era of fortune and glory. Amar'e may not have ever lived up to his contract from a production standpoint, but he was a great Knick, as further evidenced by how he said goodbye to the city....
How To Clean Up Every Mess Depicted In <i>Fifty Shades of Grey</i>
Fifty Shades of Grey is not a good book. The story essentially boils down to two boring people engaged in a boring contract negotiation, punctuated by seemingly endless rounds of shower/bathtub sex and a few light spankings. It's really very, very dull stuff....
How Else Did The 49ers Screw Up Their Coaching Search?
Nothing about this Niners offseason, from the inevitable Jim Harbaugh divorce to the awkward promotion of Jim Tomsula, has been easy or painless. The coaching staff was assembled of cast-offs and no-names, and the team was accused of doing everything on the cheap now that it's got that new stadium. ...
Penn State Students Chant "No Means No" At Maryland's Dez Wells
Yesterday, Maryland traveled to Happy Valley to play and ultimately defeat Penn State. It was a hard-fought game that went down to the wire, but perhaps the most interesting moment came midway through the first half, when Terps senior star Dez Wells went to the foul line....
James Dolan Is Not Sorry About Being A Shitty Person
At a charity event today, Knicks owner James Dolan finally spoke about the email he sent this past Sunday, in which he responded to a lifelong fan's harsh but fair criticism by accusing that fan of being a miserable alcoholic. Unsurprisingly, Dolan is not really all that sorry about being a horrible...
Gronk Hangs Out At The Beach, Hits On Local News Reporter
The Summer of Gronk continues in Florida, as self-aware lump of protein powder Rob Gronkowski avoids the buttload of snow in New England, chills at the beach, throws the f-ball around (that's slang for football), and does some 'shups (that's slang for pushups)....