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Wyoming Football Coach Suspended, Fined For Phenomenal "Mr. Fucking Howdy Doody" Tirade
Dave Christensen's punishment was handed down yesterday for this, and it's rather steep: a one-game suspension and a $50,000 fine. The decision was made by the school's athletic director with the full support of the university president, according to a statement the AD issued that said some things...

Patrick Kane's New Swiss Hockey Team Has Heard Some Things About How He Acts Off The Ice
The NHL has foolishly locked out Chicago Blackhawks right wing and frequent Deadspin subject Patrick Kane, in addition to 719 other players. Once the lockout became official in September, many of those players signed in Russia and elsewhere in Europe. Others decided they'd cool their heels and wait ...

Al Davis Would Have Coached At Penn State If The Weather Weren't So Bad
When Al Davis died last year, he left the most mixed of NFL legacies. He did so much for minorities and his players. But he also he also ran his team into the ground for two decades while hopping along the California coast in search of stadium renovations. He gave us John Madden. But he also gave us...

The Giants' Pennant Run Ended Right As Rain
How many LCS clinchers, not involving your team, do you actually remember? Carlos Beltran standing stock-still, Aaron Boone going deep, Sid Bream's slide, Chris Chambliss's homer...and that's probably about it. It's probably fair to add last night's Giants win, a 9-0 drubbing that was decided by th...

"3 words... FIRE MIKE MATHENY": The Best Fans In Baseball Are Having A Major Meltdown
Cardinals fans are known the world over as the best fans in baseball. This is, of course, indisputable but it makes what has to be a fandom-wide psychotic break after watching their beloved Cardinals get shellacked by the Giants in Game 7 of the NLCS troubling indeed....

The San Francisco Giants Are Going To The World Series
The Giants trounced the Cardinals by a score of 9-0, completing an impressive comeback from a 3-1 series deficit and managing to kill the previously immortal St. Louis Cardinals. Even a team as resilient as this Cardinals team can only be carried so far by the likes of Daniel Descalso, Pete Kozma, ...

Hunter Pence Had Three Hits On One Swing
OK, so technically that's impossible, but look at this thing! In the bottom of the third, as Hunter Pence's bat explodes in his hands, the ball makes its way down the barrel of the bat, hopping all the way like some kind of concussed bouncing Mickey Mouse head in a Sing-Along Song. Pence wound up w...

Aural History: How An Old Lady In Brooklyn Ensured That The "Shot Heard 'Round The World" Call Was Heard 'Round The World
It was Oct. 3, 1951, and the New York Giants were about to lose the pennant to the Brooklyn Dodgers two games to one in a best-of-three series. In Brooklyn, a 26-year-old travel agent asked his mother to flip a switch on his reel-to-reel machine, and few moments later at the Polo Grounds in Upper ...

Your NLCS Game 7 Open Thread
There are not many words to describe a Game 7. "Awesome" would be a good place to start and finish. The Cardinals jumped out to a 3-1 series lead, riding whatever Tony LaRussa magic potion/moonshine he left in the office but the Giants have battled back to force this decisive game. Joe Buck and Tim...

Guy Who Is Currently Playing Hockey In Siberia Calls Columbus, Ohio, "The Gloomiest" City
Nashville Predators winger Sergei Kostitsyn has been playing for Avangard Omsk—a KHL hockey team from Omsk, a Russian city located in Siberia—while he waits for the NHL to end its lockout. Don't feel bad for Kostitsyn though; he seems to be enjoying himself in Omsk. From Reuters:...

Five Pee-Wee Football Players Suffered Concussions In A 52-0 Loss
It is not as absurd a question as it would have been, say, 10 years ago: Would you want your kid playing football? You can point to the safety advances, and the increased awareness, and the character-building spiel—and then you can point to a Pop Warner football game in Massachusetts last month, in ...

Lil Wayne Sang "Take Me Out To The Ballgame" At Last Night's Cardinals-Giants Game
A lady in a ridiculous hat singing "God Bless America" wasn't the only crazy thing to happen during the seventh inning stretch last night. The San Francisco Giants also welcomed Lil Wayne onto the field, where he led the crowd in a less than rousing rendition of "Take Me Out To The Ballgame."...

Here Is A Terrible Performance Of "God Bless America" By A Woman Wearing The City Of San Francisco On Her Head
The Beach Blanket Babylon is one of this country's longest-running and best-known musical revues, and features performers who wear ridiculous hats. These performers regularly make appearances singing at San Francisco Giants games, so nobody was too surprised when the company's Misa Malone arrived ...
![Gangnam Style Is Officially Dead, Dez Bryant Is Not: Your Sunday NFL GIF Roundup [UPDATED]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/182wa9q2yt6sbgif.gif)
Gangnam Style Is Officially Dead, Dez Bryant Is Not: Your Sunday NFL GIF Roundup [UPDATED]
We'll be putting all our GIFs for the day here from a Joe Morgan flip play that does not involve the Dave Concepción to Dez Bryant getting drilled in the head. We'll update the post as the later games conclude, so stay tuned. ...

Curtis Granderson Will Get His Eyes Checked Because There Needs To Be A Reason People Understand
Curtis Granderson has had vision-related issues before. When he was traded to the Yankees, he soon discovered that he had 20-30 vision and quickly began wearing contact lenses. This year, Granderson had an absolutely wretched postseason. He had three hits in 33 plate appearances and struck out 16 ti...

The Jets, To The Patriots: "Hang On A Minute"
The Patriots' hurry-up offense is quick—too quick, according to the Jets. They point to a crucial moment in the Patriots win over the Broncos two weeks ago in which the Patriots had sped up their offense so much between snaps that the Broncos didn't have time to make substitutions. That's not fair: ...

Percy Harvin Has The Gray Lady All Hot And Bothered This Morning
While it may not approach Jon Hamm-trouser snake levels, Percy Harvin makes an impressive appearance in The New York Times this morning. Click to enlarge....

Beer Of The Week: Australia's Coopers Brewery Sparkling Ale
When I dropped the six-pack of Coopers Brewery Sparkling Ale on the counter at the liquor store, the clerk immediately began singing its praises, in what sounded like an Australian accent. This was pure happy coincidence, best I could tell....

This Week's Signs Of The Apocalypse
For nearly two decades, Sports Illustrated has stirred the tea leaves to discern a weekly Sign of the Apocalypse. Deadspin salutes the magazine's ongoing effort to cover the end of times but declines to cede the scoop on the biggest event in world history....