yo Page 534 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

In Yet Another Case Of Metrics Confusion, Hakeem Nicks Claims Stats Are Useful For Impressing Girls
Hakeem Nicks's production has fallen in recent games, partly due to a left knee injury. A reporter asked him whether he was concerned about the drop-off, and he answered in a way that briefly sent the sports analytics world into a fit of eye-rolling and furiously composing Nate-Silver-meme jokes: "S...

Your Week 11 College Football Master Schedule
Schedule and broadcasters via and cross-referenced with. If you spot any errors, let us know below. Conferences reflect home teams. Ranked teams bold; rankings from the USA Today Coaches Poll. Times (EST)....

Report: University Of Iowa Athletics Adviser Traded Tickets For Sex, Had Harassed Students Since The 1990s
An internal investigation of Peter Gray, senior academics adviser for the University of Iowa Athletics Department and staff member for about 13 years total, has turned up a laundry list of inappropriate behavior, all sexual in nature, mostly involving students in some form or another. Gray allegedly...

Philosophy Professors Come To The Defense Of Suspended Wyoming Coach Dave "Mr. Fucking Howdy Doody" Christensen
Dave Christensen was suspended for a week and fined after this meltdown following Wyoming's loss to Air Force, in which he accused his counterpart of having the Falcons quarterback fake an injury to stop the clock. Our favorite quote, very to-the-point, was Christensen's accusatory "You have no fu...

A Bloodied Christian Tiffert Got The Last Laugh As Seattle Stole Victory In Salt Lake
One of the best-supported squads in American soccer finally won a playoff series last night, as Seattle Sounders beat Real Salt Lake 1-0 on a rocket one-timer by Mario Martínez in the 81st minute....

Rob Gronkowski To Astronaut In Space: "Are You Floating Right Now?"
NASA astronaut Sunita Williams Skyped with Patriots punter Zoltan Mesko and 6-foot-6 second-grader Rob Gronkowski earlier today. Guess who asked Williams, "Are you floating right now?" and "Aren't your suits way heavier than ours?" just before he makes the same pensive face as a middle-schooler try...

Your KHL Update: Importing the Enforcer
While the NHL and the NHLPA may or may not be making significant progress toward saving the season, hockey rages on abroad. Hopefully I'll have reason to stop doing these posts soon, but in the meantime, here's your second weekly KHL fix....
![MLS Couldn't Dig Itself Out Of The Snow Or Its Own Ass [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/184p6ngy5rminjpg.jpg)
MLS Couldn't Dig Itself Out Of The Snow Or Its Own Ass [UPDATE]
The weather had already shafted DC United. The higher seed, they lost homefield advantage when MLS switched the legs of their home-and-home with the Red Bulls because the New York area was still cleaning up after Hurricane Sandy. It wasn't fair, and United fans were pissed, but it's hard to see that...

Mike Keenan, The NHL's Last Great Asshole Coach
Playing for coach Mike Keenan in Chicago was like camping on the side of an active volcano. You had to accept the reality that he erupted regularly and that there was always a danger of being caught in his lava flow. He was a tyrant, a schoolyard bully, an oldschool coach who tried to motivate playe...

Show Off Your Tailgate And You Could Win A Year’s Supply Of Meat And Bacon
Ah, tailgating: sunshine, assorted meats, and endless games of cornhole. My favorite tailgate memory is from my freshman year of college. Before the first football game I attended as a student, I randomly went up to some people who seemed to be my age. In my hand were some uneaten bacon-wrapped saus...

As Punishment For Yelling "Fucking Jews!" At A Guy, Delmon Young Will Have To Complete Courses At The Museum Of Tolerance
Back in April, Tigers outfielder Delmon Young was charged with third-degree assault after a minor fracas on a road trip in New York. The alleged details were ugly: a supposedly drunk Young shoved a man to the ground after losing it—"Fucking Jews! Fucking Jews!"—at the sight of a yarmulke-wearing pan...

Jason Bay And The Mets Are, Mercifully, Getting A Divorce
One never likes to cheer a breakup, even if the pair was wrong for each other from the get-go, and even if the pair deeply, habitually wounded one another. A breakup is a failure. It's pathetic. It's time wasted, and we have so little of it on this earth....

What Does Election Day Mean For The Coyotes' Future In Arizona?
Of the scores of ballot measures voted on around the country yesterday, only one has a direct impact on sports. (Not the legalization of marijuana in Colorado and Washington. That's are still banned by the NCAA, and anyway, as we told America's student-athletes, just smoke the synthetic stuff, you p...

Lucas Duda Broke His Wrist While Moving Furniture
Mets outfielder Lucas Duda broke his right wrist last month while moving furniture in his apartment, becoming another bullet point in a list of dumb baseball injuries, even just in 2012....

Deadspin NBA Shit List: Voshon Lenard, The Implacably Adequate Enemy
A celebration of the NBA's most infuriating players, both past and present. Read other NBA Shit List entries here....
![Rick DiPietro Is Injured Again, This Time In Germany [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/184ebgzo1nci2jpg.jpg)
Rick DiPietro Is Injured Again, This Time In Germany [UPDATE]
DiPietro, who missed most of last season with a groin injury that required surgery, is keeping warm by playing for SC Riessersee, in Germany's second division. Did I say "playing?" I meant rehabbing another injury....

Now's Your Chance To Chat With Jeremy Roenick, Nine-Time NHL All-Star And NBC Analyst
Jeremy Roenick scored 513 goals in his 18 NHL seasons with the Blackhawks, Coyotes, Flyers, Kings, and Sharks. (You will recall, since it's not so active at present, the NHL is an occasionally operational professional league in which rich men compensate other men to play hockey.) Roenick retired in ...


Rasheed Wallace Proudly Declares Himself The New Brian Scalabrine
Rasheed Wallace never disappoints. At the end of the Knicks' emotional victory over the Heat last night, ‘Sheed was roused from a fitful nap at the end of the bench by the crowd chanting his name, and coach Mike Woodson immediately subbing him in for his first minutes as a Knick. He looked out of sh...

This Is The Lady With Whom Tim Tebow Is Not Having Sex
In a sense, Tim Tebow is not having sex with all women, but this-Camilla Belle, actress-is the particular woman with whom he's not having sex on a daily basis, despite other outward appearances of a romantic relationship. Here's Page Six's report on Tebelle (all rights reserved, must credit Deadspin...