yo Page 568 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
TNT Should Not Have Allowed This Morbidly Obese Sixers Fan To Participate In The Shirt-Off
The Utah State Aggies have a superfan named Wild Bill who distracts free throw shooters by wearing bizarre, Disney-inspired outfits that often reveal his generous girth....
John Tortorella Has Had Just About Enough Of Your Damn Questions
We'll keep it in the room, Stan....
Jamie Moyer Continues To Break Every Oldest Baseball Player's Record
Record-breaking old man Jamie Moyer, who legend has it is older than dirt, legged out a two-run infield single tonight, becoming the geezeriest ballplayer to ever drive in a run. Pitcher Jack Quinn of the Brooklyn Dodgers was 48 years, 11 months, and six days when he hit a three-run double back in ...
These "Rangers Vs. Nets" Tickets For Tonight Look Legit
Fifteen rows back from the glass, right on the blue line, guy's asking 150 a pop, barely half of face value? You'd be a fool not to snap these up, unless you want to to miss Kris Humphries posting up on Ryan McDonagh. [@Lock]...
<em>What To Expect When You're Expecting</em> Makes Me Want To Get A Vasectomy
My wife and I love kids—we just don't want to have any of our own. That shouldn't be a big deal, but sometimes other people sure act like it is. There have been a few too many instances when my wife and I have been around other folks' babies and the inevitable question comes up: "When are you two go...
Sean Payton Is The Prophet Elijah
New Orleans is getting used to life without Sean Payton, who has begun serving a one-year suspension for his role in the bounty scandal. There was always the possibility that the Saints would handle the situation quietly and without hyperbole or fanfare, not wanting to draw attention to the actions ...
How I Threw My Hair-Perm Superfly Spitball, By Dock Ellis: A New Animated Short
The video above is "Superfly Spitball," an animated short that grew out of the same interview—conducted by Donnell Alexander and Neille Ilel—that gave us Dock Ellis & The LSD No-No. Animated by Heidi Perry and co-produced by Thor Swift, the short will appear in a forthcoming iBook, Beyond Ellis D....
What Dock Ellis Taught Me About Drugs, Spitballs, Hair Curlers, Office Culture, Race, And America
Be sure to watch the accompanying animated short, "Superfly Spitball."...
Devils Launch "Don't Sell Tickets To Rangers Fans" Campaign
Compared to the old place at the Meadowlands, the Prudential Center is clean and modern...and really, really easy to get to from New York City. This tends to lead to the Rock being lousy with Rangers fans, something that could get a little embarrassing come playoff time. So the Devils aren't going t...
Some Poor Bastard's Cell Phone Went Off During John Tortorella's Press Conference, And Torts Was Not Happy
John Tortorella's press conferences are the stuff of legend: tense, terse legend. At least from the media side, they're more amusing than hostile. But there's going to come a day when the Rangers aren't winning, and the scribes are going to refer to their mental tally of all the times Torts bullie...
Boston's Game Two Loss Left This Celtics Fan Looking For Something To Lick
The Sixers downed the Celtics 82-81 last night to even their Eastern Conference semifinal series at one-all, a result that got this Bostonian so hot and bothered he was reduced to panting....
Rex Ryan Is Not (As) Fat
That's him at a Jets charity function over the weekend. Holy shit....
Osi Umenyiora Wishes "Twitter Gangster" LeSean McCoy A Happy Mother's Day...On Twitter
So, yeah. Osi Umenyiora recently joined Twitter and it would appear he is a quick learner (except for the whole "@ reply" thing). Earlier this morning he tweeted "Happy Mothers Day Lesean Mccoy! Enjoy your special day!!"...
JaVale McGee Gave Us The Going-Away Present Of Trying To Dunk His Own Missed Free Throw
This season JaVale McGee did crazy things, lazy things, stupid things, and even awesome things. Last night in the final moments of the Nuggets' Game Seven loss to the Lakers, he gave us all a nice parting gift when he tried to dunk his own missed free throw....
Andy Pettitte Makes First Start Since Retiring Before The Original Roger Clemens Perjury Trial
Earlier in the week, Jon Heyman wrote something silly about Andy Pettitte not being trustworthy anymore because he said something potentially helpful for Roger Clemens, while being cross-examined by Roger Clemens's lawyer. Never mind that that is kind of the point of cross examination, but why not ...
If The Lakers Lose Tonight Mike Brown Will Be Out Of A Job, Says Lakers Vice President (Magic Johnson)
Last night, Magic Johnson had some relatively strong (hypothetical) words for the Lakers coach and key big men....
Christian School Forfeits State Championship Game Rather Than Compete Against Player Who Is Black*
An Arizona high school baseball team forfeited the state championship game Wednesday rather than face an opponent whose squad featured a black* player....
The USFL Is Making A Comeback, Will Be Nothing Like The Old USFL
The United States Football League is apparently being reborn next March, with teams in eight cities playing a 14-game schedule through June 2013. Not everything is cemented yet, including which cities will actually get franchises, but the effort has attracted some noteworthy investors and advisors, ...
Kenneth Faried Appeared To Be Broken After Being Flagrantly Fouled By Kobe Bryant
Kobe Bryant earned a flagrant foul call for this hit on the Nuggets' Kenneth Faried, a shot that—for a moment, at least—made some wonder if Faried would be able to return to the game....
It Was "Anal Kid Time" At Yankee Stadium Tonight
Reader Tommy went to tonight's Rays-Yanks game in the Bronx tonight, and noticed the captioning board was advertising a very strange event. If you ask me, they're making baseball stadiums way too kid-friendly these days....