yo Page 596 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Not Fadeaway: Farewell To Brandon Roy's Perfect Step-Back
Brandon Roy retired from professional basketball last week, at the age of 27 and after just five seasons in the NBA. He has, he told the Portland Trail Blazers, "degenerative knees."...
Hey Look, Someone Actually Bet That The First Score In Giants/Cowboys Would Be A Safety
"ACCVentures" over in the Covers.com forums put down $22 at 50-1 that the first score in Sunday Night Football would be a safety. Seems kind of low, and he had to play each team separately, but he's got $1100 and you don't....
![Readers: Help This Nice Lady Have The Michigan Wedding Of Her Dreams [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/18j4q4q6l8w9ujpg.jpg)
Readers: Help This Nice Lady Have The Michigan Wedding Of Her Dreams [UPDATE]
An unnamed female reader of Deadspin writes in:...
Here's An Adorably Vicious Hockey Brawl With 9-Year-Olds
Making the rounds today is this pro-quality brawl between two Kazakhstani U10 teams. If the biased YouTube uploader is to be believed, it began after the winning Astana team (in white) kept trash talking during the handshake line. What's Kazakh for "I can't believe I shook this guy's frigging hand...
Report: Derek Jeter Once Again Plowing Everything In Sight
Baseball season never ends for the New York Post. Derek Jeter's in the news today because he's reportedly back in the game with a vengeance. After breaking up with Minka Kelly, Jeter is "bedding a bevy of beauties" (because the Post lives in the 1960s) and diluting the collectibles market at the sam...
Last Night's Giants-Cowboys Game, Reduced To Its Al Michaels-Stupefying Lead Changes
Last night's prime time football game gave us some of the most exciting action of the day—a rarity this season.The Giants-Cowboys game was full of lead changes, and Al Michaels was on top of it, constantly providing an updated tally for the viewer....
Brandon Jacobs Likes To Dance Dirty
It was bad enough that Brandon Jacobs elected to dance on the star in the Cowboys end zone, but the manner in which the Giants running back got jiggy appeared to be his attempt at eroticism. It gave New York a short-lived lead, and at the half Dallas leads 17-15....
Artem Anisimov Breaks Out The Boomstick, Righteously Pisses Off The Lightning
After scoring his fifth goal of the season, a shorthanded tally in a tie game, Rangers center Artem Anisimov lowered the sights, pumped his stick, and let fly with one of the more demonstrative celebrations of the year. The Lightning took offense and swarmed Anisimov, setting off a penalty bonanza...
Five Bullshit Things About David Stern's Bullshit Veto Of The Chris Paul Trade
David Stern's veto of the Chris Paul trade contains so much kaleidoscoping bullshit that it seems more than worth it to lay out just some of the bullshit: ...
Everything That's Wrong With <em>Monday Night Football</em>, In One <em>New Yorker</em> Paragraph
There's a long profile of Jon Gruden in this week's New Yorker, which, frankly, is a little like opening up Guns & Ammo and finding a profile of Noam Chomsky, but there it is nonetheless, a zillion finely wrought words about this guy. Two passages are worth noting....
Nebraska's Star Volleyball Player Gets Off Easy For Hitting A Motorcyclist While Driving Suspended
Considering that I've chronicled 2,119 hit-and-runs across the country since last January, the stories — to a certain extent — have stopped shocking me. That whole numbing-effect thing....
Jared Allen Told Ray Edwards, "I'm Going To Punch You Square In Your Wiener, Dude" Before Punching Him Square In The Wiener
Maybe you've seen the video circulating this week that shows Minnesota's Jared Allen punching Atlanta's Ray Edwards directly in the crotch during the Falcons' 24-14 win in Week 12. If not, here it is, and here's Allen's frank explanation of the incident from today's episode of PFT Live:...
Dion Phaneuf's Dad Gets High Fives After His Son Decapitates A Ranger
The NHL's radical realignment means four conferences that will need names, so how about the Michael Sauer Memorial Conference after the late Rangers defenseman, taken in the prime of his life by this clean hit from last night. Just kidding! He's not dead. He's being evaluated by doctors with an "u...
What Losing Jose Reyes Really Means For Mets Fans
In eighth grade I wrote a poem about Jose Reyes, the Miami Marlins' new shortstop. The poem wasn't so good. I wrote it in Reyes's gregarious broken English, in which every third utterance is "you know" or "man." But I had to write something quickly for a class, and in April 2005, nothing captivated ...
Charles Woodson Congratulates Hakeem Nicks On One-Handed Touchdown Grab
Nicks makes a great catch and Woodson gives him a little congratulatory fist bump....
NFL.com Is Still Calling The Broncos The "Denver Tebows"
The "fast-charging Denver Tebows" are still "in the hunt" for a Wild Card spot, according to NFL.com. I'd prefer the Denver Not Kyle Ortons, but that's just me....
Teens' Dispute Over Mickey Mantle Card Leads To Fork Stabbing
A 17-year-old boy from central Pennsylvania faces "assault and harassment charges after jamming the fork into a fellow teen's arm while they fought over a Mickey Mantle baseball card." Hardcore, kids. What's wrong with a simple noogie? [AP]...
Chris Paul Is Going To Go Be Awesome Wherever He Damn Well Wants
Chris Paul is a bad person for wanting to choose where he lives and works? Is that really the narrative we're going with? OK....
Jeff Francoeur Enticed Jonathan Broxton By Taking Him Hunting At Jeff Foxworthy's House
We brought you the preliminary details of this courtship in HOTFUCKINGSTOVE yesterday, but we buried the lead. Jeff Francoeur didn't just lure fatass reclamation project du jour Jonathan Broxton to the Kansas City Royals by taking him on a bow-hunting trip. Francoeur lured Broxton by taking him on a...
Alexis Sanchez Scored A Nifty Little Goal For Barcelona Today
Didn't take long for the reigning Best Club Team In The World to bounce back from an unexpected loss to Getafe over the weekend. Three days, actually. Against patsy Rayo Valllecano....