yo Page 598 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
NFL.com Is Still Calling The Broncos The "Denver Tebows"
The "fast-charging Denver Tebows" are still "in the hunt" for a Wild Card spot, according to NFL.com. I'd prefer the Denver Not Kyle Ortons, but that's just me....
Teens' Dispute Over Mickey Mantle Card Leads To Fork Stabbing
A 17-year-old boy from central Pennsylvania faces "assault and harassment charges after jamming the fork into a fellow teen's arm while they fought over a Mickey Mantle baseball card." Hardcore, kids. What's wrong with a simple noogie? [AP]...
Chris Paul Is Going To Go Be Awesome Wherever He Damn Well Wants
Chris Paul is a bad person for wanting to choose where he lives and works? Is that really the narrative we're going with? OK....
Jeff Francoeur Enticed Jonathan Broxton By Taking Him Hunting At Jeff Foxworthy's House
We brought you the preliminary details of this courtship in HOTFUCKINGSTOVE yesterday, but we buried the lead. Jeff Francoeur didn't just lure fatass reclamation project du jour Jonathan Broxton to the Kansas City Royals by taking him on a bow-hunting trip. Francoeur lured Broxton by taking him on a...
Alexis Sanchez Scored A Nifty Little Goal For Barcelona Today
Didn't take long for the reigning Best Club Team In The World to bounce back from an unexpected loss to Getafe over the weekend. Three days, actually. Against patsy Rayo Valllecano....
It Took All Of 16 Seconds For Sean Avery To Get Into A Fight With The Penguins
Calling it a "fight" is a bit misleading—the participants were only assessed two minute roughing minors—but the efficiency by which it was commenced is worth noting, especially since Sean Avery didn't appear to actually start this fight with the Penguins' Tyler Kennedy. (He took a more active part...
Big Baby Davis Got Arts-And-Crafty During The Lockout
In this video produced by Glen Davis's marketing company (and via TBJ) we get a look at how Big Baby spent his time off. Knitting, popsicle stick construction, model kits and the like. It's clever, but we're more taken with the rubber-faced Davis's reaction shots. He has a future in silent movies....
How The Internet May Have Saved The NFL And NBA
Before we get to the Funbag, just a reminder that I'll be reading in Milwaukee tomorrow night at 7 p.m. at Boswell Book Company, followed by all of us going out and getting drunk on cheddar-flavored ale. Then, on Thursday night, I'll be in Chicago reading at the Book Cellar at 7 p.m. Come one, come ...
When Something Falls On The Ground In New Orleans, Don't Put It In Your Mouth
Reader Craig sends in this video of Justin Tuck dropping his mouthguard during last night's game, then popping it right back in his mouth. Tuck is clearly unfamiliar with the bylaw to the Five-Second Rule that states that if the item in question is moist or sticky, let it go man, because it's gone...
One Jet Thinks Stevie Johnson's "Airplane" TD Celebration Was A 9/11 Reference
You thought Bob Costas was stupid? You clearly didn't know how stupid human beings could get when discussing end zone celebrations. That apotheosis belongs to Jets tackle Sione Pouha, who's convinced that Stevie Johnson was out to mock the death of thousands....
Brandon Jacobs Stands Behind What He Said About Giants Fans, Still Enjoying His New Nissan
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Yes, Jacobs's " new fast-ass car" is a Nissan....
Stevie Johnson Beats Revis, Makes Touchdown Catch, Mocks Plax In TD Celebration
Stevie Johnson, who one presumes has yet to forget being forsaken by God, trolled the Jets hard after getting clearance from Darrelle Revis to catch a touchdown pass from Bills QB Ryan Fitzpatrick—first pantomiming a Plaxico Burress club self-shooting, then performing the airplane... that crashed....
NBA Owners And Players Reach Tentative Labor Deal, Season To Start On Christmas Day
"All I feel right now is 'finally'" said a borderline speechless Dwyane Wade. Barring something crazy, the league plans on opening training camp on December 9th and kicking off a 66-game schedule Christmas Day with the Boston Celtics at New York Knicks, the Miami Heat at Dallas Mavericks, and the Ch...
Jose Reyes Seinfeld The Puppy Begs Jose Reyes The Human To Stay With The Mets
Jerry Seinfeld is a Mets fan, for some masochistic reason. Being a Mets fan means always having to say they’re sorry. But one silver lining is the very real chance of re-signing Jose Reyes, so that they can pay him $15 million when he’s 36 years old, which is the soonest possible time the team will ...
Honolulu Five-0 Investigating Point-Shaving Allegations Against U. Of Hawaii Football Players
"On November 3, 2011, the UH Manoa Office of Admissions received an anonymous letter alleging "point shaving" by unnamed football players of UH football games. Recognizing the seriousness of these allegations, UH leadership acted promptly and responsibly by immediately alerting the Honolulu Police ...
Head Injuries Make Rob Gronkowski Giggle
Rob Gronkowski, Patriots tight end and friend to at least one porn star, scored two touchdowns in New England's 34-3 win over Kansas City last night....
The Shit Replacing Basketball On TV Tonight: Three Hours of <i>America's Funniest Home Videos</i>
The NBA lockout is nearing the end of its fifth month, and there is no end in sight. This sucks for players, who will miss paychecks; it sucks for fans, who will be forced to find other ways to occupy their winter nights; it really, really sucks for TV networks that carry local NBA games and now hav...
The NFL Fined Rex Ryan $75,000 For Telling That Fan To Shut The Fuck Up
You'll recall that, after the Patriots beat up the Jets last Sunday, a fan suggested to Rex that Belichick was a better coach, and Ryan snapped. He apologized the next day....
Rajon Rondo Goes Off The Forehead To Rudy Gay
A month ago, he was rocking the no-look over-the-shoulder lob. Now, with this off-the-forehead alley-oop over the weekend, Rondo has cemented himself as the highlightiest player of the lockout....
The Eagles' Nine-Minute Game-Winning Drive in 90 Seconds
To the surprise of just about everyone last night, Vince Young—whose play up until this point in the game could generously be described as erratic—led an 18-play, 80-yard death march of a touchdown drive that would eventually decide the game. Here's the drive, condensed into a much more palatable ...