yo Page 604 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Your World Series Game One Open Thread
Are you excited? Because we are excited. ("We" in this case refers to the Editor Emeritus of this webspace, who writes in that style, and not too many current staffers, because this series is to be played between two mostly uninteresting teams from the middle of the country that don't wear the right...

Bryant Gumbel Drops One Little Plantation Metaphor, And Everybody Loses Their Shit
You'll notice that Bryant Gumbel never once used the s-word in his criticism of David Stern last night. His extended analogy called the players "hired hands," which ought to put the lie to any suggestion that actual, literal slavery was being evoked. That hasn't stopped the usual backlash that comes...

Doc Gooden Missed The Mets' Victory Parade In 1986 Because He Was Doing Coke, And Other Depressing Tales
It's time for some uplifting news from the good folks at E:60! It's a rare occasion when "club in Long Island" is not the most soul-wrenching part of a story, but this is one of those times. ...

Memphis Could Sue The NBA If It Doesn't Get Its Shit Together
In America, if you're not getting what you need quickly enough, there is always a simple back-up plan available: go to court, tie everything up in paperwork and bureaucracy, and end up with a settlement. It's almost one of our golden rules. And so it's almost a surprise that, with lockouts straining...

Here's Video Of Bryant Gumbel Calling David Stern A "Modern Plantation Overseer" On HBO's Real Sports Last Night
"His moves are intended to do little more than show how he's the one keeping the hired hands in their place." [The Basketball Jones, via Pro Basketball Talk]...

When I Dance They Call Me Kirilenko
CSKA Moscow, Andrei Kirilenko's new professional team in Russia, had its Media Day recently. Naturally, this involved the players breaking into three groups and dancing to Muzak and outdated pop songs on a stage in a giant banquet hall somewhere in Moscow....

Rex Ryan, Drinking Buddy
We're doing a season-long NFL roundtable with our friends at Slate. Check back here each week as a rotating cast of football watchers discusses the weekend's key plays, coaching decisions, and traumatic brain injuries....

SprtsCntr: Herm Edwards Can't Stop Talking About Darrelle Revis's Hands
What is ESPN prattling on about right now? We condense your morning SportsCenter to its essence....

The Flash Mob Was Canceled, But Nobody Told Stuart Scott, Trent Dilfer, And Steve Young
Your morning roundup for Oct. 18, the day those dastardly criminal penguins got away with it. Photo via @xmasape. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Watch Shonn Greene Run Over The Umpire in Tonight's Jets-Dolphins Game
The game hasn't been the most exciting one but at least there was this....

Legends Are Born In October, Then Pulled In The Fifth Inning For A Situational Lefty
Baseball Prospectus's Jay Jaffe has an NLCS stat that, if you're at all like me, will send you scurrying to the far reaches of the cable box on Wednesday in search of something that does not involve Tony La Russa. (I'm serious. I like baseball as much as the next guy, but I'm not wasting my precious...

Derrick Mason Says Those Five Games He Played For The Jets Never Actually Happened
From the New York Post: "To me, I went from Baltimore to here [the Texans]," Mason told The Post after the Ravens beat his new team 29-14. "I don't know what you're talking about when you mention that other place, but this place here I'm excited about."...

Peyton Manning's So Cute Verne Lundquist And Gary Danielson Could Just Eat Him Right Up (Updated With Video)
Nope, 26 references from the booth during a Sunday Night Football game in which he didn't play was not enough to sate the football-broadcasting world's need for Peyton Manning in their lives....

Chip Kelly Has Big Balls, According To College GameDay Sign
The University of Oregon doesn't take the field until later tonight, but the College GameDay chanting-and-drawing backdrop warriors were already out for coach Chip Kelly's morning #OccupyHerbstreit appearance....

Maybe Bribery Will Keep Today's Wisconsin Game Profanity Free, But Probably Not (NSFW)
"If the so-called ES-FU chant is not heard Saturday at the Indiana game (from the time the gates open until the 5th quarter is over), we will randomly select two student season ticket holders to be the recipients of a trip (transportation, three nights lodging and game tickets included) to our foo...

The Theme Of Last Night's NLCS Game Was Set When Jerry Hairston Got Bucknered At Third
Your morning roundup for Oct. 15, the day we totally realized that Tums commercial with a randy corn dog is really a work of dong-involved artistry. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Shitty <i>MNF</i> Game To Be Matched In Shittiness Only By Shitty <i>MNF</i> Intro
Doing a new one every week could be a good thing. Detroit! Blue collar town. Oh look, there's Barry Sanders! So what does the New York metropolitan area get for Monday's suckfest against the Dolphins? Fireman Ed, and "the passion and loyalty of the fan base." [Newsday]...

David Stern's "Gut" Is Ruining Christmas For Everyone
The games that you will probably not be watching on Christmas this year are Celtics-Knicks, Heat-Mavs, and Bulls-Lakers, because even though it is only mid-October, the NBA lockout has already ruined Christmas for that small group of people for whom Christmas is about watching three over-hyped NBA g...

Justin Verlander "Gutted Out" "Gritty," "Gutsy" Performance Last Night, Writes Every Sportswriter Everywhere
Justin Verlander threw 133 pitches yesterday, which is a lot, and he gave up four runs on eight hits, which isn't so great. By most standards, he pitched a so-so game. By his standards, he was awful. But because the Tigers won a game they had to win, and because the prevailing narrative calls for Ju...

Wisconsin Would Prefer Its Student Season-Ticket Holders Knock It Off With The Vulgar Chants
In a letter addressed to all "UW Student Season Ticket Holders," University of Wisconsin AD Barry Alvarez and Head Football Coach Bret Bielema were sure to point out that "singing 'Buttercup' and 'Sweet Caroline' [during the Nebraska game] was fantastic." Which it surely was....