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Jose Reyes Is One Point Ahead Of Ryan Braun For The NL Batting Title With One Game To Play (UPDATE)
No Met has ever won a batting title, and Reyes is hitting .336, while Braun is hitting .335....

Black Hockey Player Pays The Bigotry Forward, Calls Sean Avery A "Fucking Faggot"
Just over a week ago, Wayne Simmonds—one of the few black players in the NHL—had a banana thrown at him during an exhibition game in London. Yesterday in Philadelphia, after a slight altercation during a preseason game against the Rangers at Wells Fargo Center, Simmonds allegedly called Sean Avery...

Atlanta Braves Have Had A Rough September, According To Newspaper's Middle School Line Graph
This is a real graph that accompanied a real article in the real Atlanta Journal-Constitution today. The Braves lost to the Phillies 4-2 last night, and are now just a game ahead of the Cardinals for the NL wild card—all thanks to this carefully-plotted "September Swoon." It's really exciting that t...

Let's Watch Mark Sanchez Get His Face Put Back Together
Over and over and over again. [Larry Brown Sports]...

A Soccer Player Melts In The Sweatiest Press Conference Ever
Over at Sharapova's Thigh, there's an 8-minute video of Espanyol striker Walter Pandiani gradually getting sweatier and sweatier over the course of a press conference. We're not big on "gradual" around here, so we've chopped it up to show how that light blue dress shirt never had a chance....

Referee Eats It In Raiders-Jets Game
As the Raiders were scurrying to get set up for a game-tying field goal in the final seconds of the first half, our enthusiastic friend has a bit of a problem with the whole "one foot in front of the other" thing. Come for the falling humans, stay for the meta ESPN-Axis style breakdown of the play...

They Cried Tears Of Joy And Praised The Heavens When The Brewers Clinched A Division Title
Your morning roundup for Sept. 24, a day you no longer have to worry about getting hit by a falling satellite unless you already got hit, in which case wouldn't be reading this because you're not alive to fret. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

The Fake Outrage Over Fake Injuries; Or, How To Piss On An NFL Sideline Without Anyone Seeing
Faking injuries in the NFL is a time-honored method of stopping the momentum of an opponent and giving your own team a much-needed breather. It's like calling a timeout in basketball when the other team is on a big run. Since football doesn't have the luxury of all those silly 20-second timeouts, th...

Anyone Care What David Brooks Has To Say About Amateurism And The NCAA?
Other than the fact that Upmarket Jeff Foxworthy somehow believes there was once a time of chivalric amateurism, and other than the part where he relishes the supposed irony of lefties advocating capitalism-friendly reform (Saul Alinsky and Marvin Miller would like a word) and also the part where he...

Let's Watch A Russian Oligarch Preemptively Attack A Fellow Tycoon On A Talk Show
Per The Telegraph, "billionaire Russian oligarch Alexander Lebedev has physically attacked a fellow tycoon on national TV after the other man told him he would like to "punch someone's lights out."...

Today In Marcus Camby Got Arrested With Weed In A School Zone News
"Officers pulled over Camby's black Porsche around midnight when he was spotted driving north on Cullen Boulevard with a sun screen device blocking the front window. ... Officers say they noticed the smell of marijuana. Camby gave permission for the car to be searched and police said they discovere...

This Evening: Mariano Rivera's First Baseball Glove Was Made Out Of Cardboard (Video)
Your p.m. roundup for Sept. 22, the day we learned the rules for using a cell phone on a subway platform. Video via Sports Grid. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Andray Blatche Made Pitiful "Team Building Workout" T-Shirts For His Wizards Teammates
And then SB Nation's Jon Bois wrote a one-act play about it. If you only read a single one-act play today, this should be it: "TEAMMATE 2. This... workout? You made us shirts for a workout?" [SB Nation]...

The Cincinnati Bearcats Think The Cincinnati Bearcats Logo Is Worthy Of Being Protected By Velvet Rope
Welcome to Cincy's most exclusive night club....

Rashard Lewis Is "Willing To Sacrifice" Himself For The NBA Owners' Sins
In 2007, chronic underachiever Rashard Lewis signed a six-year, $118-million contract with the Orlando Magic. Then, last December, the Magic unloaded Lewis onto the Washington Wizards in exchange for their own chronic underachiever, Gilbert Arenas. Arenas had a six-year, $111-million contract at the...

The Vince Young Imposter Has Been Breaking Hearts All Over D.C.
The Washington Times has the story on Stephan Pittman, the registered sex offender from Maryland who's been conning women by posing as Vince Young: "'He brought a bear and flowers for my friend,' Denisse said. 'He was such a good actor. But half my heart didn't believe him.'" [Washington Times]...

Mets Consider Making Citi Field More Homer-Happy
Building a stadium around Johan Santana probably seemed like a good idea at the time. But three years and so many damn doubles later, Citi Field is more homer unfriendly than anyone could have predicted: only San Diego and San Francisco see less home runs per game in the National League. So the Mets...

NFL Sends Strongly-Worded Memo To Teams Telling Them To Stop Faking Injuries, Please
The league has already said they won't discipline Deon Grant or the Giants for their mysterious incapacitation that just happened to stall the Rams' no-huddle offense on Monday night. An NFL spokesman admitted there's no way to prove when injuries are fake, so unless a player admits their duplicit...

"Hit 'Em In The Face As Hard As You Can," Then Pray: Pee-Wee Coach Shows Why Football Won't Be Getting Less Violent
A reader sent in this video of a Texas U6 team getting a pep talk from its coach before a game. He exhorts the Frisco Gators to push hard, be tough, and "hit 'em in the face as hard as you can." (One of his kids corrects him—"in the chest"—to nervous laughter from parents.) But before the face- or...

Michael Boley Hugged It Out With The Kid He Nailed In The Face
When Giants linebacker Michael Boley took a failed lateral 65 yards for his first career touchdown, he was so hyped up he was all "GRAARRR I'm gonna throw this ball as hard as I can," and he absolutely smoked a kid in a backpack. It was great TV, not so great for the kid....