yo Page 619 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
When Life Gave An Elderly Pervert A Lemonade Stand, He "Repeatedly Rubbed His Breast And Groin"
Sweet Christ, did a 79-year-old convicted sex offender from Somers Point, NJ really approach a lemonade stand across the street from the police station and get all self-grabby in front of three young girls, none of whom were older than 14?...
Pacman Jones Is Wearing A Neck Brace In His Latest Mug Shot
According to Cincinnati.com, Adam "Pacman" Jones was taken into custody early this morning. Here are the details:...
Hines Ward's Manager: "The Facts Will Show That Hines Was NOT Impaired By Alcohol While Driving"
Remember that whole "Here's Hines Ward's Mug Shot" thing from this morning? Yeah, well Hines's people want you to just forget about all that....
An Attempted Translation Of DeSean Jackson's Twitter Response To That Whole Gay-Slur Issue Thing (Updated)
Last evening, Philadelphia Eagles WR DeSean Jackson, who is embroiled in a slurmantic battle over his use of the phrase "gay-ass faggot," put his thoughts on the record about said controversy. ...
Here's Hines Ward's Mug Shot
As mentioned earlier, Pittsburgh Steelers WR/Dance Machine Hines Ward was arrested on DUI charges in Georgia overnight. This photo was released by the Dekalb County Sheriff's Office. He was booked at 3:41 a.m. and released shortly thereafter on $1,000 bond....
Stories That Don't Suck: SportsFeat's Guide To The Ballplayer's Twilight
Every Friday, SportsFeat picks a few great weekend reads for Deadspin. In honor of Derek Jeter and his labored quest for 3,000 hits, here are well-told stories of ballplayers just before, in the years after, or at the exact moment they retired....
Exclusive: We've Obtained Audited Financials For The NFL League Office
These are audited financial statements for the NFL's league office, the nerve center of professional football, covering the years ended March 31, 2009, and March 31, 2010. The documents below deal with only one piece of NFL operations, and there aren't any obviously mind-melting revelations about th...
Presenting The Two Most Preposterous Sentences Ever Written About Derek Jeter, As Of 11:06 A.M. Today
Would you like to read the two silliest sentences ever written about Derek Jeter in the mainstream press? Two sentences so silly that if you told me someone had liberated all the drunk tanks within the Beltway and set the good folks loose inside whatever inflatable bouncer passes for the USA Today n...
Mike Holmgren Weighs In On The Santa Cruz Dog-Ban Issue
The 35-year-old ban on dogs in downtown Santa Cruz could come to an end next week. Dog owners have money, and the business owners want it. Asked a leading are-you-surprised-there's-a-ban question by KSBW's Phil Gomez, Mike Holmgren of Scotts Valley said, "I'm a little surprised. I didn't know that,...
The Yankees' Ticket Market Thinks Derek Jeter Is Ted Williams Or Something
It's pretty easy to estimate the number of hits a player will get over a small number of at-bats. For instance, any player batting between .125 and .375 obtains, to the nearest whole number, one hit in four AB. Walks complicate things, but not much. That's why, with Derek Jeter sitting three hits aw...
Deion Branch Will Be At A Papa John's In Louisville For One Hour On Friday
With the reverence worthy of a Super Bowl MVP, the sign outside the Papa John's at 2nd and Liberty streets in Louisville, Ky. invites passersby to stop in this Friday to distract Patriots WR Deion Branch from the fact that he's been forced to make an appearance at a Papa John's in his old college t...
Today In Depressing Lockout Non-Stories: "Clippers Season Tix Same Price"
The NBA lockout isn't even a week old yet, and we're plum out of stories. The NBA's website has become a ghost-town-cum-clearinghouse for WNBA news and classic highlights. We're talking about predictable Michael Beasley weed busts instead of flurrying free agent activity, or something....
Michael Beasley Has Not Yet Kicked That Demon Weed
The 2011 NBA lockout is a mere six days old, which means that we are way past due for a report of a league player getting cited for possession of marijuana. And now that I mention it, we are also (and always) way past due for a report of Michael Beasley getting busted for possession of marijuana — i...
Doris, A Die-Hard Yankees Fan, Sends Letter To Indians Pitcher In Which She Calls Fausto Carmona A "Spic"
Tribe reliever Joe Smith Tweeted this piece of mail pitcher Mitch Talbot received from an aggrieved, die-hard Yankees fan named Doris who penned this delightful rant. (H/T WRXchad)...
Spero Dedes, New Knicks Announcer, Busted For DUI In Hamptons
Not so long ago, Spero Dedes replaced Gus Johnson as the Knicks' radio announcer. Sure, there's no basketball yet, but Dedes already has followed in the law-breaking footsteps of another Knick announcing legend....
Watch Some Dude Lightly Smack Mr. Met In The Groin
Tipster Nicholas sends along this video of a gentleman—perhaps Nicholas himself, though we cannot know—tricking Mr. Met into singing along with him to "Meet the Mets."...
FIFA Opted Out Of Denouncing Homophobia Because They Couldn't Get Beyoncé To Perform
There was an awkward double-booking in Berlin two weeks ago: the host city for the 2011 Women's World Cup had promised use of Brandenburg Gate — located in the city center — on Saturday, June 25, to both FIFA organizers and to the annual gay pride parade. If you know anything about FIFA's tolerance ...
Derek Jeter Responsible For All 27 Outs In Yankee Loss
Some history was made last night. In his return from the DL, Derek Jeter reclaimed his leadoff spot and promptly went 0-for-4. But that's not news: Jeter's gone 0-for-4 plenty of times this year. Plenty. What is news is that the Yankees only managed to squeeze out four hits against Indians pitching....
The Refs Clearly Aren't Watching The Women's World Cup Either
Your morning roundup for July 4, the day we added needed precision to our dog shit inspections....