yo Page 626 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Watch People Cheer For A Suicidal Turtle At The Players Championship
Your morning roundup for May 15, the day Lazy Cakes, Kush Cakes and Lulla Pies start becoming Public Enemy Nos. 1-3....

Your NHL Playoffs Open Thread
Depending upon when you read this, game one of the Eastern Conference Finals is just about to start, has already done so or did so long ago. Which means you either have no idea, are finding out or long ago learned whether the Tampa Bay Lightning or Boston Bruins are leading the series. Tense action...

The Grizzlies Were Prince To The Thunder's Morris Day Last Night
Your morning roundup for May 14, the day after a homeless Bulgarian man beheaded an elderly British woman in a Spanish supermarket, walked away "clutching the head by its hair, leaving a trail of blood dripping to the ground," but got caught after an Italian motorcyclist threw a helmet at his face....

Your NHL Playoffs Open Thread
Game Seven. Red Wings. At Sharks. Fun fact: San Jose has already had three chances to close the series out, so they probably won't be feeling much stress in a low-pressure game....

When Is A Choke Not A Choke? A Premature Requiem For The Sharks
This is an existential question that should be on every Sharks fan's mind today: is it even a choke if everyone's expecting you to choke?...

Your NBA Playoffs Open Thread
The Chicago Bulls visit the Atlanta Hawks this evening. If the former wins, it's Chicago vs. Miami for the right to represent the NBA Eastern Conference in the NBA Championship. If the latter prevails, it's Chicago vs. Atlanta for the right to face Miami for the right to represent the NBA Eastern C...

<em>The New York Times</em> Provides The First Drug Smear Of The Baseball Season
"For the last few years," The New York Times writes in the Bartolo Colon story that we flagged earlier today, "baseball and other sports, while fighting to limit the use of performance-enhancing drugs, have been faced with a new and murky challenge: players getting sophisticated blood treatments, of...

Dwight Howard Went To Disney World Anyway
The Magic were upset by Atlanta in the first round, but Dwight Howard, the broadest-shouldered 13-year-old trapped in a 25-year-old's body on planet earth, would not let it ruin his trip to Disney World last weekend. Until, at least, a few days later, when he found the time to call out the Orlando S...

The Bizarre Cult Of Pro-Owner NFL Fanboys
Here's a tidy summation of how we've managed to get to where we are with the NFL lockout. A few years ago, the players and owners agreed to a new CBA, with only Ralph Wilson and Mike Brown voting against the agreement, in Wilson's case because he's old and easily confused by things....

The NBA Playoffs Are Less Important Than Hockey, Oprah
One of the underrated subplots of the playoffs is when non-sports events get scheduled for our nation's arenas, and the conflicts it causes when a team goes deep. We've had two notable instances of it already, with the Lightning and Bulls running up against two of the most powerful forces in enterta...

How Bartolo Colon's Fat Ass Resurrected His Career
A Dominican medical team designed a rejuvenation treatment, in which they'd inject stem cells into the pitching arm, for Pedro Martinez. He turned them down. Bartolo Colon didn't....

Here's Video Of LeBron James And Delonte West Sharing A Brief But Loving Embrace Last Night
Your morning roundup for May 12, the day old coot Yogi Berra will come up with something witty to say about turning 82, even though he's only 81....

Your NBA Playoffs Open Thread
The Miami Heat can put the Celtics down like a mangy mutt that was good for about a fifth of its lifetime tonight. And you know what? Good for Team Olbermann. And good for the United States of America. Rondo might as well have smeared some of Schilling's ketchup on his jersey....

Shawn Kemp Refuses Courtside Seats To Oklahoma City Game; Remains Seattle's Hero
Shawn Kemp has been retired from professional basketball for about eight years now, but after eight seasons with the SuperSonics, he still lives in the Seattle area and makes time for a weekly appearance on local sports radio with the "Ian Furness Show" on KJR. In yesterday's show, Kemp shared tha...

Everything You Wanted To Know About Porn, Weed, And Toilets In Afghanistan, Courtesy A Platoon Leader
That photo of an anonymous U.S. soldier standing in front of a whole shitload of weed was taken by a platoon leader in Afghanistan with the Gawker handle Lono. He emailed me recently to clarify a number of things about fighting overseas, namely the quality of local porn, the abundance of local weed,...

Bulls Fan Learns The Shame Of The Giant Foam Hat
The giant foam hat is all fun and games until it is shown on the Jumbo Tron which is then shown on national television which is then uploaded to YouTube with ridiculing commentary and which then makes it to here, where we will shame your giant foam hat shame. What a world....

It Was Wrestling Mask Night In Anaheim
Your morning roundup for May 11, the day the pre-prom body cavity searches were called off....

Big Baby Enters The Mirror Stage
Glen Davis had the opportunity this season — after the Celtics traded away Kendrick Perkins and while Shaq enjoys a paycheck and a warm seat as he eases into retirement — to earn real minutes and to anchor the second unit. He tried. He averaged about thirty minutes per game during the regular season...

Watch The "JetMan" Fly Across The Grand Canyon
Yves "JetMan" Rossy, a Swiss "pilot, inventor and aviation enthusiast," has a custom-made human jet suit, and today he flew 200 feet over the Hualapai Reservation on the Grand Canyon. How's your Tuesday going?...

The Thunder And The Grizzlies Gave Us A Special Kind Of "Classic" Last Night
The Memphis Grizzlies have been typecast, ever since we decided they were relevant enough to be typecast at all, as the unlikely success story with an unlikely GM and an advertised bad streak. They have "blue collar players" for a "blue collar town." The Oklahoma City Thunder, meanwhile, have slid...